Park City

I looked at my calendar and noticed that...a deadline is looming! Scott and I took advantage of one of our last free pre-baby days and went to Park City overnight. Scott came prepared with his requisite coupons, and the first stop was Jamba Juice. Buy one get one free! (Does anyone remember Scott's trip to California with his friends in college? "Let's take Dopp to the beach so he can look for some coupons.")

As we drove up Parley's Canyon, the temperature dropped and our moods lifted, until we found ourselves strolling down Main Street on a balmy summer night. We dined at Bangkok Thai (something about a free entree), which was delicious. Scott must love to be ridiculed. His habit of taking pictures of his meals brought back more trip memories...his brothers making fun of him for his gastronomic sensibilities and his picture food diary. But look how nicely plated the food is!

At Mom and Dad's condo, we stayed up late reading our books and eating Breyer's ice cream, which Scott failed to take a picture of. This morning, despite trying to sleep in, we were up and out by 7:30. Starbucks provided us with pastries, smoothies, newspapers and an invigorating atmosphere where we enjoyed a bright Sunday morning. We had to stop and laugh at two women who had four kids between them. In a scene all-too-familiar to us, the little ones were grabbing orange juices and yogurts faster than their moms could grab them back, order, pay and corral the ones who wanted to explore the great ourdoors instead of order food. Strangely, the kids' antics made me anxious to get back to the hectic pace of our real lives. Before that, we still had a leisurely drive over East Canyon and down Emigration ahead of us. Of course, we talked about each kid and their needs, quirkiness and development. Eighteen hours was just right for remembering that Scott is a fun guy, and that sometimes he says things other than, "Keep the doors closed!" and "Come clean up this mess!" Thanks to Ryan and Jennie and Bill and Coco for having our kids. They loved it! Freestone cried bitterly when we took him away from Collin's house. It might have been even more of a vacation for the kids than it was for us! It's hard to overlook what a great person Scott is, but it takes a step away from everyday life to be reminded of his full awesomeness. Scott is still just as cool as I thought. I guess I'll keep him! I think he's willing to sign on for another term with me, too. Thank heavens!

Tabula Rasa

The empty, white basement has been a tempting blank canvas for some little artists to work in. I think Golda was inspired by Angela Bentley Fife's still lifes of special articles of clothing. She is painting this little blue coat I wore as a child. Ruby and Scott came up with the idea of a Rothko-inspired canvas for Ruby's bedroom, using her colors. It's abstract enough to not require technical perfection, and it looks awesome on the wall. I love it that anything a child paints on a canvas turns out fun and creative.

Pepperbelly's

Thanks to all the King/Bazail girls for a fun celebratory lunch! Mom, Emily, Sarah, Tricia, Golda and Ruby all brought gifts for the baby. It's fun to have an wxcuse to go out for a nice lunch, especially an excuse that results in presents!

Comparisons

Here is Xanthe's new and improved room. She loves having all that nice, clean, open space all to herself. The first night, I tried to put her panda blanket on her. She said, "You're making a big mess! Put that back!" So now she sleeps on top of the covers to preserve the wonderfulness of the room.

This little girl has been such a unique blessing in our lives. This pregnancy has given me a completely unexpected insight into Xanthe's history. Early on, when I was sick, the thought occurred to me that Xanthe's birth mother had felt the same way. I wondered what her thoughts were, whether she already had one child and already knew she would have to give this one up, or whether she was praying constantly for a boy she could keep. Later, when I could feel the baby move, I thought about Xanthe's birth mom feeling the same thing. Had she had an ultrasound? Did she love Xanthe already? Did she know what she would have to do? As I grew, I thought about how a woman could possibly hide a pregnancy like so many Chinese women do. Did Xanthe's mother hide her growing pregnancy as long as possible before "visiting relatives?" Why didn't she have an abortion? Did she have any hope during pregnancy that all the aches and pains were for a baby she could keep?

Now, so close to meeting my baby, my heart breaks to think that Xanthe's must have loved her as much as I love Ptolemy, having spent nine months with her. The decision she had to make is so real and utterly incomprehensible to me, as I anticipate holding my baby. Xanthe's mother had four days to hold her. After that, her arms much have ached.

In the delivery room, I think I'll wonder if Xanthe was born in a hospital, if her mother was alone, if she got proper medical care, if there was a moment when she found out her baby was a girl, if she cried. When Ptolemy is four days old, I'll imagine leaving him outside all alone in the early morning and wonder at the strength it would take to do that. Every time I pick up the baby and feed him, I'll be able to think more tangibly about who fed Xanthe and if she got to eat when she cried. I know there were times when she didn't. For those first 13 months of Ptolemy's life, we'll all see how much we missed by not having Xanthe for her first year.

This baby yet to be born has been such a blessing already, for so many reasons. Helping me reflect on Xanthe's birth parents' sacrifice and Xanthe's vulenerability as a tiny baby are treasures I'm grateful to have received through Ptolemy. The opportunity to experience pregnancy with Xanthe's birth mother in mind brings me closer to her and also gives me more admiration and compassion for Xanthe. That extra empathy helps when Xanthe is screaming on the floor about not wanting to wear her eye patch!

Keep Your Head Down

All systems are go for next Friday if this kid can keep his head down. I was so relieved that he had flipped that I went right home from the doc and helped the kids set up the crib. Now we're ready! Freestone said, "Now they don't have to cut you in half!" I think he was glad, but I'm not sure. He may have been picturing a magician in a fancy cape with a comically big saw. That might be cool, but I think we'll do this the old-fashioned way. It's exciting enough.

Another (Almost) Finished Room

This is Araceli and Ptolemy's room in its incomplete form. Only Ari is in there now, with her gorgeous new hot air balloon bedding that I found on ksl.com for $65.00. That was for all the bedding and two framed hot air balloon prints, and all of it had only been used in a model home. I love deals! And it looks so cute. When we move Ari's beautiful grown-up desk in, the room will be so sophisticated! Ari feels pretty mature moving out of the pink phase. She's still a princess at heart, though. A very volatile princess. After more crying jags and tantrums that I can count today, Ari informed me at bedtime, "I lived with you in heaven and I chose you to be my mom." I had read Jennie's post and watched the video about the feathers earlier, and I was so thankful that Jennie's insight had inspired me to react to Ari's extreme moods today with patience. (Thanks, Jen!) I was able to see Ari as a child doing her best to cope and feeling overwhelmed, and react with empathy rather than harsh words. For this night, at least, Araceli can rest in her new surroundings feeling loved. I'm glad she chose me to be her mom, and I'll always try to live up to the honor.

There's Noplace Like Home

We got a running start on Fourth of July festivities with the 5 and 10K. Ryan and Jennie had great times in the 10K, while the rest of the runners ran/walked the 5. Bill (Felshaw) walked the 5K with Golda, Ruby and Araceli. Araceli was nervous that she would get lost or tired, but Bill pulled her along and Ruby slowed down to wait for them from the beginning all the way across the finish line. Golda sprinted ahead and came in a few minutes behind Lexie, who ran with her Aunt Julie. Tanner and Uncle Jeff finished strong, too, while the rest of us waited at the track to cheer everyone across the finish line. Golda, Ruby and Araceli all got 1st, 2nd or 3rd in their age group for the walk, but there were no ribbons for people who signed up as walkers. Ari was outraged. Bill's time gave him 5th place in his age group, 70-99, in the run. Pretty good considering he walked with a 7-year-old the whole way! He could win that age group if he ran! Besides my dad, my favorite runner in the 70-99 age group was Dick Bowman, a civic leader in our town, who ran with a sleek-looking metal walker and was heartily cheered across the finish line by hundreds of fellow citizens who have patronized the Bowmans' grocery store for decades.

Following the race was the parade, the water parade, water games at the pool (Xanthe got a perfect ten for her adorable cannonball in the diving contest and came up with more coins than anyone in the coin dive. Remember swimming lessons?), a BBQ at Ryan and Jennie's and fireworks. My very favorite thing about the 4th of July is the city-wide water fight that follows the parade. Fire trucks bombard spectators with hoses, and the kids retaliate with squirt bottles. It's great! Scott and I have talked about all the places weve been on the 4th of July: Indiana, California, Idaho, London, Paris. Here at home is where the holiday seems the most alive. This little town does it right, and we are happy to support all the activites and bask in not only the summer weather, but the company of the people we love the most.

A Room of One's Own

Ruby, Freestone and Araceli have moved into their new rooms. Xanthe now has the big loft room all to herself, Golda has company in the basement and Araceli is preparing to welcome her new roommate, Breech Boy. Freestone wanted a puppy theme for his new room. Much to Scott's consternation, I found a complete puppy room on ksl.com, with bedding, three framed pictures of puppies and a whole bunch of large and small stuffed dogs. Freestone loves it. Scott, uh, loves it too. It's so sophisticated and cool! :) The best thing about Free's new room is that Scott complied with Jakey and Freestone's request to put the bed in front of the space between the two closets, thus creating a hideout. There's room to squeeze into the hideout behind the bed. Awesome!

Ruby has had this vision for her bedroom for a couple of years. She has patiently shared a room with every kid in the family, most recently Freestone. Ruby and Free created quite a bond sharing their small room, so Free is glad they are still right next door to each other with a connecting door between them, in case he gets lonely. Anyway, this is Ruby's vision. She chose the colors for the stripes and positioned them on the wall exactly where she wanted them. She chose the bedspread and accessorized with the lime green white board and big pink pillow. She is easy to shop with; she knows exactly what she wants. The minute the carpet was in, we HAD to move the furniture in and get everything set immediately so Scott would be surprised when he got home. I knew Scott wouldn't go for the puppies in Free's room unless it was all set up, plus we were too excited to wait. Once the beds were in, I hung up puppy pictures while Coco took Ruby to the fabric store and picked out materials for a green microfleece pillow and an orange one with buttons in her colors. The pillows weren't quite ready for the big reveal, but they were made and ready to go on Ruby's bed when we got home today. It's fun to have a magic fairy who loves projects! :) Coco wasn't the only one working while the kids and I played today. Scott stayed home from our jaunt to Park City to finish painting and putting together Ari's new room and rearranging Xanthe's. (Stay tuned for pictures.) Everything looks better when someone else does all the work. Thanks, Scott!

Bottoms Up, Please!

I am a planner. I love to schedule, I love to know what's coming next and I love to plan ahead. Planning to have eighty kids at my house is not a stressful proposition for me. Having one stray kid ring the doorbell and expect to stay and play unannounced instantly makes my forehead hot. My brain fires off ten questions right off, like "Does you mom know you're here? When will you leave? Am I babysitting you? Have you eaten? Why didn't your mom call me? What if I have to go somewhere?" When a kid shows up like that, I give him my phone number and send him home. How uptight is that? But I have plans! I had my wedding date booked in the Salt Lake Temple 3 months before Scott proposed. Hey, those dates fill up fast!

Well, the baby I'm about to have is not a planner. He's a shoot-from-the-hip kind of boy. Maybe it stems form the fact that we never planned on wanting another baby, then suddenly...we did want one. So we made plans that this kid refused to go along with. Only when we had given up on the plan did he decide to join us. It was unnerving to have a plan that just wouldn't work.

Now, three weeks away from my due date, I'm scheduled to arrive at the hospital in exactly two weeks at two in the afternoon and deliver 4 to 5 hours later. Then I was going to eat a big cheeseburger. You laugh, but I told Scott when I went to the hospital to have Ruby that I would have her right after I watched Friends, and I did. Ruby liked my plan. This kid, on the other hand, decided to turn breech instead of acting perfectly normal like all the other babies I've had. His head, arms and legs are crammed up in my ribs, and things are not going according to plan. My body isn't prepared weeks in advance like I expect it to be. I feel anxious and off-balance because my summer plans do not include recovering from a caeserean. I'm uncomfortably aware that I'm not in charge here, that my 2:00 hospital date is up in the air and that anything could happen. I'm going to try all the home remedies for turning a breech baby...meditation, relaxation, cold, heat...

In the end, Ptolemy will get here in his own way, in his own time because that's who he is. I seriously didn't expect to have to deal with him being his own person before he was even out of the womb! Parenting is a long journey of cutting the apron strings and letting go. But couldn't we just cut the umbilical cord first, before I give up complete control?! Can't wait to find out who this boy is!

Princess Pea Performance

Golda was up early moving furniture and blocking the living room for the kids' performance. Coco was up early running Golda to the store to get crowns that we just hadn't been able to find. Princesses were up early doing their magnificent hair and donning their fabulous gowns. After the final dress rehearsal, parents came to watch the masterpiece unfold. The kids were pretty impressive. They came in costume with their hair done fancy and remembered their lines. Most importantly, they looked adorable for the paparazzi (the moms!). Thanks to all the moms who let their kids participate. This kind of opportunity is so fun for Golda. It kept her busy doing something she loves, and she even banked a little money for Paris. I didn't have to do a thing. All the pressure was on the actors! :)