Somebody scratched "I love you!" into our suede headboard. Somebody scratched it into a leather chair. Then somebody wrote it with laundry soap in the carpet in Coco and Bill's laundry room. Since the laundry soap version was accompanied by a big letter A, we all thought Ari might know something about it. When confronted, Ari vehemently denied having anything to do with the vandalism. She cried and screamed, "I didn't do that! I just went up there to fix the A!! You're hurting my feelings!!!" It was like she was afraid of drowning in a sea of false accusation. Her denial was blatantly ludicrous. She just wanted to fix the A? That somebody else wrote? Uh-huh.
So, what do you do when your ever-loving little girl tells a lie? I let it go, Bill gave her a hug and reassurance that of course we all still love her, and Coco took a picture and told her how creative she is. A few days later, I had this conversation with Ari:
Me: Coco and I are trying to figure out who wrote that cute note in laundry soap so we can give the person a prize.
Ari: I didn't do that! What's the prize?
Me: It's a...chocolate Easter bunny.
Ari: Well, I don't know who did it. How big is the chocolate Easter bunny?
Me: It's like the ones the Easter Bunny brings.
Ari: Hmmmmmm...I think I remember something. I think...I remember I did the first letter and then Freestone came and I taught him how to do it and he did the other letters and then I did the letter A.
Me: Well, I'm proud of you for telling the truth.
Ari: I wasn't lying! I just forgot.
Me: The laundry soap isn't a big deal, but lying is a big deal. You have to remember never to lie because it's never the right thing to do.
So...my kid writes "I love you" in inappropriate places and lies about it. I'm not sure what to do. Coco says to give her the chocolate Easter bunny and tell her it's for telling the truth. When I was Ari's age, I went to The Pond, even though my dad warned me NEVER to go there. I was so wracked with guilt, I told him. The lesson I took away, probably with a hug like the one he gave Ari, was that it is very important to tell the truth. I never went to The Pond again, for fear of disappointing my dad. I'm hoping with a little encouragement, Ari grows out of her "denial" phase, preferably before she hits the teen years. A lying teen isn't quite as benign as a lying 7-year-old graffiti artist.
7 comments:
We love you Ari. I especially love your creative handwriting. I love all the swooshes you made with the soap - even though it was the wrong thing to do. :) You had better take good care of the chocolate bunny. I know an Aunt Jennie who has been known to pilfer a few bits of chocolate every now and then.
Wow...too bad children don't come with their own instruction book. I still remember and love your commment about winning a confrontation if the child knows you love them. Maybe that holds true for honesty talks? Good luck with the artist!
I can't help but think of The Scarlet Letter and its A. Maybe she could wear one -- A for authenticator? (But I think Ari would love the fashion attention.)
You're a great mom for how you handled this. Watch out, though -- melted chocolate presents its own vandalism opportunities! :)
If it makes Ari feel any better I did the same sort of thing when I was here age in our new house. Only I carved my whole name with a straight pin in the drywall and then blamed my two year old sister! This is such a tough one, I remember feeling the same way about my dad. He never spanked us but man I would wish he would instead of having that disappointed face. Let me know if you figure out how to instill that one in kids!
....how I love Ari...and I just can't blame her for getting carried away with her love for all of you! What a great idea with the chocolate bunny, I'll have to use that!
Kids are tought. Never know what to do with them. I had a kid that would carve his name (in the banister)or paint it (on the garage wall in huge letters) and then deny he did it. I told him if he was going to be a crook, be a smart one and don't leave his name. Fortunately, he out grew that phase. You are a great parent, so I am sure she will learn her way out of it. Much better road than what I took...letting time fix it. It really is a great story. Your posterity will love it.
I get you are confused and worried about the lying. But, let's look at the bright side! The laundry soap idea as soooooo artistic! are you kidding me? I would be so proud of the pure originality. i seriously think she has a real future in the arts. Let's not squash her creativity. And let's be honest, lying takes a certain degree of ingenuity as well. I would be worried if I were the mom, but as the art friend, let's encourage this.......Send ari over to my house and we can experiment writing with different mediums on the ground. i will document with photos and give lots of chocolate. I am so proud of my unique child ari......my heart is warm.
Post a Comment