Prom Tales

Golda really wanted to go to prom this year.  She has never been, and she just wanted that experience.  Her dance company friends did such a good job procuring here a date, she got asked twice before the boy who was initially planning on asking her got around to it. Ya snooze, ya lose!  Golda was relieved and thrilled to have been asked.  When the second kid asked, Araceli was the only one home and she texted us a picture of the garage covered in post-it notes.  Our first thought was, "Excellent!  Now Ruby is going too!"  Darn, if only.  The kid is in Ruby's seminary class, and Golda had left him a message right away saying she had already been asked.  So when Ruby saw him at seminary, she said, "Hey, so did you get Golda's message?"  He hadn't, and Ruby had to break the news.  Awk----ward!!  We were all laughing, thinking Ruby could have just played innocent and instead, said to him, "Of course I'll go to prom with you, but my name is spelled R-U-B-Y.  It's funny, because you spelled it G-O-L-D-A on the invitation, but it's fine."

But Ruby never got asked.  It's so sad having the possibility of a late-night doorbell ditch, and being disappointed every night.  I wish every girl could go!  So the night before prom, Friday night, Scott was in Park City and texted me, "Golda said Elisa Hanney's son's friends were giving him a hard time in seminary, trying to get him to ask someone to prom.  Text her and see if he'll take Ruby."

That was all it took.  It was the answer I had been trying to come up with for weeks!  I tried not to be a meddling mom on this prom thing, but...OK, I didn't try not to be a meddling mom, I just couldn't figure out how to meddle.  Here was my chance!  I didn't even hesitate, I just threw it out there to Elisa.  Her reply came a few minutes later, I'm sure after a quick Facebook search of "Ruby Dopp."  

"Colin would love to take Ruby to the prom."

It was late at night, and I was sitting there watching TV with Ruby.  After texting back and forth with Elisa, we decided I should just tell Ruby.  Collin was at the Avengers movie and it would be after midnight when he got home.  So I jumped up off the couch like a baboon and screamed, "You're going to the PROM!!!!"

Ruby looked at me like I was dirty dancing in Sunday School and said, "Mom...No.  What?"  After I convinced her it was for real, she started to allow herself to be excited.  Coco had just taken the girls shopping at Twirl THAT day and purchased some dresses for Dance Company soiree.  It was decided Ruby would wear one of those, Colin would wear a suit, they would go to Oakridge for dinner, done.  Elisa and I thought it would be much less awkward if they each found a friend who could double with them.  Ruby and I so wanted to find a girl who hadn't been asked, and just make her day, but we couldn't think of the perfect person.  I knew a girl who works at Kaysville Theater, and I had just been talking to her hours before about how she hadn't been asked to her prom.  I was trying to convince Ruby to march down to the theater and ask this girl to prom on behalf of a friend of Ruby's blind date.  That's not crazy or weird, right?  Ruby resisted.  She said, "Mom, I know what this is!  She puts the extra butter on your popcorn, doesn't she!?  This is about the butter!"  

Ruby nailed it.  It was about the butter.  This girl is super friendly and gorgeous, but she doesn't go to Davis, and so she wasn't really being left out of this prom per se.  In the end, Ruby really felt like she needed someone there who was fun, outgoing, beautiful and that she knew really well.  So I texted Jennie, "Would Lexie want to go to Davis prom tomorrow?"  She said yes!  Then she put the wheels in motion to procure the most stunning dress.  I am in awe that Lexie had a contingency plan to get this dress.  You know, just in case a cousin called and invited her on a blind date to another school's prom in less than 24 hours.  You gotta be prepared!

After much texting and facebook stalking, we wrapped it up for the night, with four kids nervous and excited for prom in, oh 18 hours.  There was one glitch:  they stopped selling tickets after school Friday and you can't get them at the door.  I was confident that someone in Kaysville had the power to get us tickets, and I was right.  A high school friend, daughter on the junior committee, more texting, calls to the advisor, and the tickets were secured.  

That left Saturday for prom prep!  Well, and teaching violin for Ruby, play practice for Golda and ballet for both of them.  But once they got all that out of the way, they had a few hours to concentrate on getting gorgeous, because that's what prom is all about, anyway.  Clytie Su did Golda's makeup and Lexie did Ruby's.

Dress and shoes courtesy of Coco, in-house shopper!

I told the girls that this is the kind of thing we dreamed of when they were little girls, the three of them all dressed up for prom together.  I'm so glad this happened, even with the girls in different schools and different ages.  The stars were aligned for this picture, and it's beautiful!

"That's the thing about inner beauty.  It shines on everyone, catching them and holding them in its embrace, and making them more beautiful too."  My Instagram quote for this pic.

Ruby's hair is incredible.

We were super impressed with Golda's date.  He is a great kid that Golda first met in band.  Listen to this:  Michael, this kid, works at Nana's assisted living.  He walked in the other day and was talking to Nana Ruby.  Coco got talking to him about the prom somehow, and she said, "Not that I'll know who it is, but who are you taking?"  She about fell over when he said "Golda Dopp."  What a coincidence!  So any band kid who also works at an assisted living is an A+ in my book.

Needless to say, Golda had a wonderful time with Michael, saw lots of friends, and just had a really fun night.

Colin getting his corsage

Quite the motley crew to see the kids off.  Elisa just had back surgery, so it IS possible that we could attribute this whole prom night to her pain meds kicking it at the exact moment she got my initial text. I guess we'll never know!  ;)

I love how Ruby is holding Ptolemy's hand in this one.  He really thought he was going to be in all the pictures, but we thought that might look a little too Young Mothers High School Prom, not that there's anything wrong with that, just didn't want to incriminate Colin in anything he didn't do.  :)

My friend Eilyn from high school did these photos.  She and Elisa are really good friends.  I love Eilyn.  She is one of those bubbly people you just want to be around all day.  And she did an excellent job on the pictures. They were in our email inboxes within two hours, edited.

Cute, guys!!

Collin and Keegan, upon first sight, seemed like fun, playful, easygoing guys.  Plus, they are good lookin' kids!   I think Ruby and Lexie were stoked.  And I'm absolutely sure the boys were NOT at all disappointed when they saw Ruby and Lexie!  Bombshells!

Look at these two faces, upon returning home from the night.  They both glowed.  Just in case you don't feel like you've seen enough pictures, here are a whole bunch more...

Sunrise, sunset.  Golda getting ready for her last high school dance.  I try to squelch the feelings of despair I have when I think this thing is almost over.  I try to focus on the excitement of the future.  And mostly, I succeed.  But not always, not when I look at a picture like this. And can you believe this hair? And she did it like that herself!

Shock and Awe

Maybe I'm overstating it a bit when I say 'shock and awe."  It was just a surprise party for my cousin Allion, but she WAS surprised, and she was incredulous that her boyfriend Dean pulled it off so well.  There were clues, but we held in there.  My mom and I almost busted it when we showed up at Dean's house that morning in two cars, both full of balloons and flowers.  Dean and Allison were running behind schedule and were still there, sitting on new patio furniture in the driveway.  Fortunately, we didn't barge into the house with all our swag.  That definitely would have given it away.  I rolled down my window and made up a lie, quick!  "Hey!  My mom and I were just on our way to Farmington Station and we wanted to swing by and say happy birthday.  Ruby just got asked to prom last night, and we have to go shopping for shoes and everything, so..."

And then we left and Coco went back later to decorate.  

I missed the surprise because we were seeing off our prom girls, but we made it in plenty of time to see all the cousins I love so much, and to seriously eat meat until we couldn't walk.  Dean had the party catered by R&R BBQ, and that brisket was to die for.  He sent us home with a big tub of leftovers, too!  Dean and Allison were our Hawaii mentors, and told us everything to eat and do in Waikiki.  I am still craving the noodle restaurant we went to.  We decided it would be fun to meet us with Dean and Alli in Hawaii.  Short of that, I guess we'll have to keep meeting in Bountiful at Royal India...of Dean, you could keep having surprise parties!

Julia

David and his sis, Julia

Jon Pexton and Scott in his floral camo pants that I love.

Dot and Deano's mom.

Matthew holding still!  I love all the movement in this pic.

Xanthe, Annie and Molly

Keaton and his mom, the birthday girl

Jamison, Kris, Elle and Julia

Dean and Allison know their food, and this BBQ was the best!

DeBry Cousins

 We were lucky enough to have my cousin Dan's three kids for the weekend while Dan and Judith were in San Francisco for Judith's birthday.  I'm glad my kids had this time with the cousins they hung out with last summer in Montana.  Let me tell you, we did it all.  Dan brought the kids on Thursday night, along with Araceli, whom he had picked up near his home in Cottonwood from group cello, avoiding a scheduling conflict for me with Freestone's ballroom thing in Odgen and my teaching schedule.  He saved our night!

 Friday we did the park, complete with rickshaw rides from Dr. Snell and at least a couple of meals.  I didn't want to go back to the house, it was such  nice weather.

 Visited Nana

 Kaysville Theater for Paddington Bear

 Scott took these two to Park City Friday night to break up the sheer number of kids!  The rest of us got half-price donuts at Bowman's and recuperated from a full day of sightseeing in Kaysville, Utah!  The kids were such good sports.  They only had a vague idea of where they were, but they felt like they were far away from home.  Everything was new to them, out here in the northern suburbs.  :)

 Uncle Mark came out to deliver some stuff the kids forgot.

Saturday, we ran them ragged.  We all had ballet and play practice int he morning, and the cousins just went with the flow.  Scott took another batch to Park City Saturday night after Deano's party, and I settled in to wait for the girls to get home from prom.  I don't even know what the kids did.  They were mellow and good, and I told them that I wouldn't put them to bed unless they were noisy.  They weren't, and we all enjoyed a peaceful night.

 Writing notes to Mommy while the girls get ready for prom.
 Sunday, we all went to church because what's harder than taking 10 kids to church?  Staying home with 10 kids.  Matthew really didn't want to go, so he ended up at church in the clothes he slept in.  (Dan and Judith, standards were pretty low around here!  LOL)  You do what you can to stay happy and sane.  Sweet little Matthew ended up liking church and being popular in primary.  He's such a sweetie.

We went to Coco's afterward where the kids ate their weight in popsicles before another visit to Nana's, fun on Josh's zipline and more park time.  I dropped the three of them off at Mark and Marla's Sunday night and visited with some of my cousins.  It was so fun to see all you guys!  Tziporah had sneaked into my car and buckled herself in her carseat, so I took her with me to drop the kids off.  She cried when we left, "We hafta take some kids with us!  We went up to Park City afterwards; we were halfway there, anyway.  It's so refreshing to just go see the other side of the mountains once in awhile.  Tizzy and I had a good night.  Pitstop at Billy Blanco's, and a quiet night at the Ranch, looking at all the pictures of prom on Instagram.

It was a good weekend.  Full to the brim with friends, family and fun.  This is what it's all about, right?

Ballroom Show

 Freestone got to perform in his long-awaited end-of-year ballroom performance on Saturday.  He was ready!  He was clear on not taking prop out of the wrong bag, and he was excited.  Scott and I took Xanthe, Tizzy, Annie and Molly to the first performance.  It was a great show.  Every dance was practically flawless, and everyone looked gorgeous.  Freestone danced in three dances, and we thought he was great.  He's already talking about trying out for a higher team next year.

The second performance was right during Allison's surprise party, Ptolemy's tee ball practice, and seeing two girls off to prom, or we would have stayed to see the show again.  Instead, Grandpa stepped in to watch Freestone and take him out for a treat afterwards.  Thank you, Bruce!  Bill took Araceli, Ptolemy and Matthew to tee ball and even sent me pics of Ptolemy swinging at the ball and running.  Thanks, Dad!

 Freestone loves this stuff!

We got home just in time to say good-bye to Clytie Su, who had just spent two hours working her make-up magic on Golda.  Ruby was getting done up at Lexie's house, as the prom was fast approaching!

Utah Valley University

 Last week, I had the opportunity to go with Golda to see her new school.  She chose Utah Valley University for college, majoring in ballet, and we couldn't be happier.  Golda and Ruby leave for Europe at the end of June, then Golda will essentially come home to pack up in August, and she'll be gone!

I might be sounding melodramatic.  She'll only be an hour away, but she'll be on the adventure of a lifetime.  Her honors advisor infused us with excitement through his enthusiasm.  He said, "You only get to be young and in college once, Golda. This is an epic time for you."

It's so true.  This next academic year will possibly be the most pivotal of Golda's life, and the one in which she learns the most.  I'm happy she will be in such a great environment to grow and spread her wings.

 Most of the buildings on campus are connected by large hallways.  Everything is open and bright, and the views to the east of Timpanogos and the west of Utah Lake are inspiring.

 This is honor housing.  Golda had been to a workshop at UVU and really fell in love with the dance program.  Even though she got a full academic scholarship, Scott and I were still leaning toward Weber, where Golda could almost certainly get a flute scholarship on top of a full ride academic, and live at home to save on rent.  As much as I like Weber, I was disappointed in that scenario.  I wanted Golda to move away and have the collegiate experience that I had.

Then Golda went out on a limb and applied for this housing scholarship with an essay.  She got it!  There are only 138 of these scholarships awarded to students who are in the honors program, so it was really a confirmation that Golda should go after her dream of UVU.  She went out and grabbed the opportunity and made it happen for herself.  I'm proud of her.

 She will live in a four-bedroom suite with three other girls who share a kitchen, living room and two bathrooms.  We ran into one of my former violin students, Maddy Mansfield, and she told Golda that Ventana is great, and that Golda would love it there.  She and Golda will be in the same ward, so now Golda knows at least one person at church.

 She has a pool, too!
After meeting with the ballet advisor and signing up for a heavenly number of dance classes for fall, and meeting with the honors advisor who gave hr the lowdown on classes, Golda was ready to start college immediately.  UVU has a study away program where you can attned another university for the same cost as UVU, which is 0 for Golda.  She's looking into programs for after her mission, in other states.  The world is her oyster!  It's very exciting.

We met Scott and Ptolemy and Coco and Tziporah at Zupas for lunch to talk about the exciting future ahead of Golda.  It's intense having all these differently-aged kids.  Coco and Scott were shuttling the two littles to their ballet classes while I was in Orem with Golda.  Thank you!   It seriously takes a village to make everything happen.

Speaking of which, I got three offers after I posted Golda's college decision on Instagram, from friends who live close to UVU, and who wanted me to know they were there for Golda.  Knowing that, college doesn't seem as daunting, and this mother's heart is reassured.

Final Sympnonies

 Last Monday was Araceli's final concert with Youth String Ensemble.  Scott has been taking her to rehearsal every Monday, where she learned good music and made good friends.  We're sad to see it end, but as we get closer to the end of the school year, it's a relief to wrap some things up.  I took her to the pre-concert dinner the parents provide, then Ptolemy and Tizzy and I met Scott at Red Robin.  Ptolemy seriously loved Red Robin.  Hog heaven!

 Kiyan has been such a good friend to Araceli all year.  I'm sure they'll stay in touch and maybe be in Utah Youth together next year.  Araceli's group played the 1812 Overture, Copeland Shaker Melody, Pachabel Cannon, and some new music by Utah composers.   They did well.

Tuesday night was Golda's last performance with Davis Youth Symphony.  They played some concertos, Carmen, some other stuff that I loved.  It was a great concert.  The orchestra is really good. We were so happy to see Grandma and Grandpa in the crowd!  

End Game

See this kid?  He is of infinite worth.  He is important and valuable and he's a developing child, which means that he's more fragile than he looks.

This is how I think of all my students.  In ballet class as in violin lessons, some are further along than others.  My love for them is not contingent upon how "good" they are.  As a teacher, I am there to nurture them and to help them develop as humans.  As Shinichi Suzuki said, "When love is deep, much can be accomplished."

Araceli's cello teacher is one of the best and most widely known in the Suzuki world.  He said to me just last week, in talking about college professors, "First and foremost, you need a teacher who is nice."  I thought about that, and though simplistic, I love it because it embodies what Suzuki's teachings, and the teachings of the gospel are all about:  that love is the cornerstone and the end game.

I mention all of this because Freestone was berated and belittled in front of his ballroom team and his dad yesterday at a dress rehearsal.  The team mom yelled at him because he had taken the wrong prop out of a bag.  Then she turned on Scott and said, "This happens all the time with Freestone.  We're always having problems with this, and it's always Freestone."

Wow.  I come from the Suzuki tradition in music and the Clytie Adams approach in ballet, where the child is valued over the art, and as important as the art is, it is merely a vehicle to development of the human spirit.  Again, Suzuki said, "Beautiful heart, beautiful tone."  The pursuit of the art from molds children into good people.  Or should.  That mom's animosity toward my son seems at best pedestrian, and at worst, sheer abuse.  Who rips into a child, then tells the kid's parent that his son is always a problem?  Ironically, Freestone tried to tell her where the prop was, but she was too busy yelling at him to listen.  He later said, "I decided not to tell her because knowledge is power, and she was being mean."  So yeah, we're dealing with an imperfect child, but the mom's rudeness is probably more about the adult than the kid.

I get that Freestone took the wrong prop and maybe he's "always" making mistakes.  The sad part is that he loves ballroom, and that love has grown this year not because of the environment at the studio, but in spite of it.  Another example:  I was sitting next to his coach during Gem State as she filmed the dance.  She didn't know me.  I heard her cursing under her breath, "Come ON, Freestone.  Move over!  We've talked about this!"  Evidently, there was something off about the spacing.

I can't help but contrast that with our incredible piano and violin teacher, Janet, as she patiently helps Xanthe remember which hand plays the top line, for the ten thousandth time.  It inspires me to be a kinder parent, to remember that the end game is love.

I don't give a rat's ass whether Freestone's ballroom dance is perfect.  His team wins, but so?  I once had a dancer go onstage accidentally wearing her Crocs over her ballet shoes.  I was mortified, but it's not about me.  Poor girl!  Certainly, nobody yelled at her.  I don't even care if any of my children or students ever truly succeed at anything they study.  I care that they strive, yes, and I guide them to reach their full potential, but not through anger.  I care that they develop into compassionate, kind, interesting people, and I care that they know that I think they are worthwhile.  That's the majority of the reason Scott and I have our kids in the pursuits they are in, with the teachers they are with.  Our intent is not to toughen them up by exposing them to parents who yell at them and teachers who curse them when they think nobody is listening.  I am thankful for the teachers who truly are listening...to the hearts of the children they are entrusted with.