I just crashed my car into a fire hydrant right outside my house. The Christmas Cheer Meter is on empty. The snow that was supposed to add a delightful patina to the holiday season made me slide all the way down my street and crash. I never crash! I'm an excellent snow driver. So I'm mad. I'm so mad that I even hate the Christmas song that's stuck in my head about the kid who buys his mom a pair of shoes. (You know...Sir I want to buy these shoes...for my mama please...in case Mama meets Jesus tonight) I'm pretty sure the kid was either a scam artist or really stupid. First of all, what is a kid doing in a shoe store on Christmas Eve, especially if his mom has hours to live? I think his mom was fine and his dad was waiting in the car around the corner while the kid worked his sob story on innocent people in several stores, telling them that his mom needed shoes (or a new coat, an XBox, whatever) in case she died that night. Right.
I might send Freestone to the auto body shop with his piggy bank and tell them that his mom is about to take her last breath and what would make her really happy is getting her front bumper replaced before she croaks. If it works, I'll write a country song about it and end up so rich that I'll be able to buy my own shoes. So my kid won't have to panhandle in a department store when I'm on my deathbed. Oh, and Freestone, just so you know, people don't take their shoes with them when they die.
10 comments:
So sorry to hear about your accident! And I hate that Christmas song! I turn it off every time I hear it.
I loathe that song. My initial thought, seeing your headline and reading the first sentence, was that changing the car radio station caused your crash. So sorry. Samuel knows the first line of "Jingle Bells." Would it help get the shoes song out of your head if I sent him over?
Poor you! Poor car! That song makes me nuts too. For all of the same reasons. If it helps, I am making homemade hot fudge for tomorrow!
Yes, that song is really pathetic. Sorry about the crash!
Oh, that song! Does anyone like it?! From the first time I heard it, I just couldn't take it. Like you said, do they really think she's taking the shoes with her? And should he really be at the store when his Mother is on her deathbed? Geez. It's just painful.
I love it when you rant. It amuses me, and makes me feel more normal. Heck, if Circe can lose her mind, so can I! ;)
I'm sorry about your car. At least you have an excuse with the snow. We just kept crashing into our own garage doors and... it was summer. :)
Sorry about your car--what a pain. I love your perspective on life.
Circe, I laughed and laughed at this post. I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only Scrooge who hates that Christmas song. I've also always wondered "Why is a child buying his mother new shoes on the night she's going to die? Shouldn't he be at her bedside?" Sorry about your car!
That made me laugh hard!!! That was a good one-- will probably be my new favorite post!! Sorry about your car though.
This post is great(except the accident of coarse)! I hope you don't mind if I copy and paste this to my blog and add a story to it. If you do just let me know and I can remove it:)
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