The Little Thief

A little thief took all the low-hanging bulbs off the Christmas tree and lined them up on the floor.  He was especially pleased with himself, saying, "Round, Mom!  Round!"  It was his new word, a word I had taught him.  It was then that I realized the word is "circle."  I don't think kindergarten teaches a shape called "round."  Duh!  Oh well.  Freestone came home and taught Tolly to say "sphere" when he steals Christmas ornaments, so I think he has all his bases covered in the circular family.

Ptolemy says so many one-liners I should have a notebook with me wherever I go.  So we don't forget, here are some:

Scott got a new car (Whole other story!!)  and he told the kids, "Now be careful you don't scratch the car when you get your bikes out."  Ptolemy hopped down off his bar stool and said, "Bye Dad!  I'm going to scratch your car!"  Oh, Scott sooo deserves a kid like himself!  Payback!

Another funny one was last week whenever he found a to-go cup, he said as he took a swig, "This your Nutcracker water, Mom?"  Yep, it was!  The girls and I were always dehydrated on the way home, so we stopped for cups of water at Arby's or Wendy's.  Well, water and Jamocha Oreo shakes, but there was never any evidence of the shakes by the time we got home!

The kids are trying to teach Ptolemy to hold up two fingers and say, "I'm two!"  Except he can't get the other fingers to stay down.  After struggling with the fingers and saying, "I'm tw...I'm t...," he finally held up the whole hand and said, "I'm five!"

If he gets a group of items together, he lines them up and demands, "Count them, Mom!"  I heard him counting himself, saying, "One,,,two...three...green...lellow..."  I guess he ran out of numbers.

This morning, the little smarty-diapers waited until I was in the shower and therefore powerless to stop him, then appeared with a big bag of Hershey's Kisses.
"Chocolate, Mom!  I LIKE chocolate!"
"Tolly, where did you get that?"
"It's mine!"
"Was it in Ruby's room?"
"Ya.  It's mine!"

Oh, I see how that works.  By the time I got out, the Hershey's Kisses were lined up and I was instructed to count them.  Ptolemy grabbed one, generously gave me one and said, "Cheers!"  How can you say no to that?  Right Ruby??

With Thanksgiving coming up, we have lots of opportunities to hear Tolly say his funniest word:  Funkin Fie!  I bought a funkin fie the other day and Tolly could be heard throughout the store, "I want some funkin fie!  Get me some funkin fie!"  Same thing at dinner.  At least we have entertainment lined up for Thanksgiving!  Ptolemy, the lying thief who undecorates Christmas trees and shouts in grocery stores.   Good thing he's only two!  (Or five.)