People across the country reacted in all different ways. On the whole, black people loved my hair so much that, if I encountered an African-American who didn't give me a compliment on it, I was genuinely surprised. At home in homogeneous little Kaysville, I have gotten more nasty looks than anywhere else. It might be due in part to me feeling a tad more self-conscious here than away from home. On the trip, I forgot about my hair. Here, I can't, and I don't know if that makes people more sensitive to it, or if I'm more self-conscious because of the looks of judgment people throw my way. I would have to say, the more comfortable I am, the less people seem to be bothered by the unusual hair color.
In church, where I teach music to the children, the kids seem to like it. It makes them smile. At ballet, my students like it too, and it coordinates nicely with our pink-and-black ensembles. Adults have reacted with comments ranging from "Fun!" to "Did you do that on purpose?" I take all comments in stride because, yes, the hair is crazy. And I've had a lot of fun with it.
Having pink hair has given me a sense of freedom I didn't expect. As a mom with pink hair and a minivan, I am more difficult to categorize than if I looked more normal. Who is she? Traditional stay-at-home mom? Someone we should call child services about? I'm harder to put into a box. It made me think more deliberately about how I categorize people, and how erroneous it is to do so. It's a natural inclination to try to figure out who people are based on their appearance. However, I am the same person with pink hair that I am with brown hair or Paint the Town hair, so what do you do with that?
I have become more acutely aware of the fact that each individual is infinitely complicated. I honestly began looking harder at people, wondering what was behind the facade of what their appearance happened to be that day. We are, quite literally, wholly separate beings from the bodies our souls are housed in.
On the other hand, I suppose we do tailor our appearance somewhat to what we want people to think of us. That's my only problem with the magenta hair. See, I'm not necessarily trying to make a statement. I was just having fun, and I think people who know me get that. If you don't know me, though, you'll wonder if I'm having a mid-life crisis or trying to be all punk or something. I don't like standing out in that way. If there is any statement I'm making with my hair color, it is, "I can do whatever I want, and what you think of it is none of my business."
That statement might be construed as aggressive, though, and I'm not an aggressive person. Thus, I will most likely be happy to get back to my normal hair color when the time comes. For now, I am still having fun. My grandfather Bill used to call me "Pinky-Poofer" when I was a little girl. Was he prescient? No, but I like to think the pink hair in some way is a tribute to him. In any case, it has been liberating and educational, and I highly recommend trying it. You'll be surprised how amazing it feels to get past worrying about what people think and just enjoy their reactions, as varied and unpredictable as the unique people they are.
7 comments:
LOVE this post! And now I can refer people to your blog when they ask me about your hair. I count myself lucky to be among the friends who I think understood where you were going with the hair. And I do think it was really fun! Finally, my favorite quote from Shelter weekend: what other people think of me is none of my business!
Thank you for posting this. My daughter has some very visible tattoos and here in K town, she gets all sorts of snide looks. I was, at first, embarrassed that a daughter of mine made the choice to ink her precious body, but I had to learn and realize that she is still my wonderful, caring, intelligent daughter, who for some reason loves that look. I realize that your hair color is replaceable and my daughter's tats will be there forever (unless she decides otherwise and finds a good laser place!) but I appreciate your philosophy on what others think of us as we present ourselves on the outside, rather than what we are on the inside. Thank you again for opening some minds, anyway!
What a great blog "Pinky Poofer"..loved it! Dare to be yourself, that is what it is all about, don't be someone else to please everyone else and fit other's mold. Just be who you are, go with your flow, and know we cannot please all the people all the time! nor do we need to try. As long as we feel comfortable in our skin and like who we are, that is what is important. Love the pink hair and your gumption to do it and be yourself. I remember years ago when you went with black hair and Scott blonde, I think those were the colors..love it that you and Scott march to your own drummer! Love ya, love the hair, love the blog, yeah for being in the "pink"! xo Tricia
I love the pink hair! It is so bold and fun. I think it is so crazy that my most insecure moments are around the people who are my family, friends, and community. Places where I think I would be the most accepted! Sometimes when I worry about what others think of me, I remember the Dr. Phil quote "You wouldn't care so much about what people think about you if you knew how little they did." We need more fun in this world. More pink hair, more colorful clothes, more fun!
I felt self-conscience for the first time in 10 months when we came home for our visit. I was worried about what I wore to church, and how it sounded when I played the piano there. I was worried about judgement and imagined the judgmental things I had heard from different people in the past. It was weird! I love living in a place that is so open and accepting and loves you unconditionally. (or at least a place that I think they do, and that perspective makes a big difference.) I hope I can keep that when we move back I don't want lose my accepting-ness.
That is quite pink! I'm glad you had fun with it, we should follow the kids lead and be happy about it. I do think you are rebelling a little! I applaud you, things can get so blah and boring, it's good to keep things a little interesting!
No matter how incredibly awesome Kaysville is, the people here ARE judgemental. Boo. I don't like it.
But what I DO like are people who can be confident enough to not care what others think...people like YOU. After our conversation about your pink hair, I went straight home and told Shane that I wanted to dye the tips of my spiky hair pink. He was cool with it. That's what I love about my Shane.
Now...I just need to get started.
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