I got a text Thursday afternoon: "Go to Les Olson and get free Jazz tickets." Oh. OK, that would fit nicely right in between dropping Golda off at ballet and picking up Xanthe at Jade's house to take her to tutoring. 1320 KFAN was broadcasting from the tire store in Kaysville, and they were no doubt ecstatic to see a mom in a nice outfit, mismatched socks and house slippers hop out of a minivan and close the car door on the sounds of Hotel Transylvania and wild baby screams emanating from the back seat.
I had three minutes to get my free Jazz tickets and book it, so I had no time for pleasantries. "Hi! My husband told me to come here for free Jazz tickets," was what I said, after stuffing a free cookie in my mouth. Turns out, they weren't just going to give me free tickets. I had to throw a half-deflated football through a tire to win them. Groan! The tire was only ten feet away from where I stood in my slippers (because I forgot to put my boots back on, duh!), and the radio guys were affable and friendly, so I was extremely optimistic that I could be back in my car in 30 seconds with free Jazz tickets in hand.
What I didn't take into account was that I have absolutely no sense of what a ball is going to do once it leaves my hand. I have no mechanism for controlling its trajectory because, well, I never throw footballs, and certainly not with a specific target in mind. Nevertheless, I was surprised when the ball sailed five feet over the tire. Wow. I was so sure it would just go straight through the tire, because I'm in charge and that's what I wanted it to do. That was my plan. From 4:09 to 4:16, I was going to swing by Big O Tires and pick up free Jazz tickets.
I was a little miffed when the guy cheerfully handed me a coupon for free popcorn at a movie theater I never go to because it's not the Kaysville Theater.
If only I had followed Scott's suggestion.
An hour later, as I was driving Ruby and Xanthe home from their things, I got a text from my friend Debbie. "So as a family we walked away from Big O with 4 Jazz tickets, $20 in Fanzz gift cards, 2 movie tickets and a free popcorn. Thanks for the tip!"
As Ruby read me the text, I squealed to a halt and turned the car around. "That's it! I'm going back there and you girls are going to win us some free Jazz tickets!" Ruby, in her leotard, didn't want to, but I was not going to be defeated by a deflated football. I pulled up to the tire store and forced the girls out of the car. When they came back with their free cookies, they had BOTH made the ball through the tire! Xanthe made it! She has no depth perception because of her eye, she has literally never thrown a football in her life, she's 8 years old and she made the shot. My ball was five feet off the mark.
Alas, the radio guys were all out of prizes. Some kind-hearted soul must have found some coupons as the girls trudged away, and caught up to them, so they came back to the car with two free movie passes. So now someone can use that free popcorn coupon. Whoo hoo!
And all it cost me was my pride. Ah, the agony of defeat!
I had three minutes to get my free Jazz tickets and book it, so I had no time for pleasantries. "Hi! My husband told me to come here for free Jazz tickets," was what I said, after stuffing a free cookie in my mouth. Turns out, they weren't just going to give me free tickets. I had to throw a half-deflated football through a tire to win them. Groan! The tire was only ten feet away from where I stood in my slippers (because I forgot to put my boots back on, duh!), and the radio guys were affable and friendly, so I was extremely optimistic that I could be back in my car in 30 seconds with free Jazz tickets in hand.
What I didn't take into account was that I have absolutely no sense of what a ball is going to do once it leaves my hand. I have no mechanism for controlling its trajectory because, well, I never throw footballs, and certainly not with a specific target in mind. Nevertheless, I was surprised when the ball sailed five feet over the tire. Wow. I was so sure it would just go straight through the tire, because I'm in charge and that's what I wanted it to do. That was my plan. From 4:09 to 4:16, I was going to swing by Big O Tires and pick up free Jazz tickets.
I was a little miffed when the guy cheerfully handed me a coupon for free popcorn at a movie theater I never go to because it's not the Kaysville Theater.
An hour later, as I was driving Ruby and Xanthe home from their things, I got a text from my friend Debbie. "So as a family we walked away from Big O with 4 Jazz tickets, $20 in Fanzz gift cards, 2 movie tickets and a free popcorn. Thanks for the tip!"
As Ruby read me the text, I squealed to a halt and turned the car around. "That's it! I'm going back there and you girls are going to win us some free Jazz tickets!" Ruby, in her leotard, didn't want to, but I was not going to be defeated by a deflated football. I pulled up to the tire store and forced the girls out of the car. When they came back with their free cookies, they had BOTH made the ball through the tire! Xanthe made it! She has no depth perception because of her eye, she has literally never thrown a football in her life, she's 8 years old and she made the shot. My ball was five feet off the mark.
Alas, the radio guys were all out of prizes. Some kind-hearted soul must have found some coupons as the girls trudged away, and caught up to them, so they came back to the car with two free movie passes. So now someone can use that free popcorn coupon. Whoo hoo!
And all it cost me was my pride. Ah, the agony of defeat!
3 comments:
Okay #1 this is my favorite thing I have read this week! Laughed out loud!
And #2 this is yet another reason we became friends eons ago. Our amazing athletic ability.
Lol!! Gotta love a woman who tries!
Kids...they keep us humble!
LOL. Why don't they give prices for playing the violin or something? You'd win for sure! And I'm so glad my husband isn't the only one who says things like that:)
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