When I was single and in violin making school, I was serious about my craft. I already had a bachelor's degree in violin performance under my belt, and I was looking forward to pursuing a demanding career in the intense world of violin making. It's a small, insular, competitive and sometimes unkind environment, but I loved the tradition and artistry of it the work, and the rough yet close-knit atmosphere of a violin shop suited me just fine.
It was at this time that one of my mom's cousins, a sweet saint in the making, said to me, "That's just wonderful that you're studying something that you can do on the side when you have a family." I about popped a blood vessel I was so incensed. On the side!? I was a bona fide artist, a violin maker to be taken seriously, coming out of the top school in the country. Not some mom with a hobby. Sure, I planned on having kids, I guess, but they would play in the wood shavings under my workbench while my life continued exactly how I wanted it. Right?
As it turned out, my life did continue exactly how I wanted it. I just didn't know what I wanted yet when my mom's cousin made her innocent observation. I mistakenly thought I wanted a life that was all about me and what I could accomplish within the very narrow definition of success that my field offers. Some would say I'm a failure. I just have a tiny shop that's only open by appointment. I never see a Strad. I work on mostly student instruments and I don't have time for making at all. But hey, I rented out 60 instruments this fall. I do repairs every day. I get to meet families who study music and I get to be around what I love all the time. And I do it all while children, mine and others, play in the shop's playroom. I guess you could call me a mom who is using her training on the side. I got lucky. I'm just glad there was a tiny spark in my heart that whispered the divinity of motherhood before I sold myself short and became a "success." I really think I'd be missing out on the best part of life if I couldn't put my tools down and make an apple pie, especially if there were nobody to burst through the door at 3:30 to enjoy that pie. Like I said, I just got lucky, and I'm so grateful.
9 comments:
Funny how life turns out. Not how we expect- better.
Fabulous. As always.
How wonderful. I kept thinking how cool it was you got that validation, but why can't I? I returned to your word "unexpected." If we go around seeking a pat on the back we'll be too inflated to feel it, should one come.
I have always admired this about you!
That is awesome!
Thanks for this post, Circe.
You are so, so blessed my friend! How wonderful that you are able to combine both of your loves and do it so well!! I still keep my hand in teaching piano to just 5 students...and love it!
I'm hoping to have Hannah take violin lessons when she's a little older. Do you make house calls to Canada? ;o)
Love this. We all have the potential to do whatever we want, especially as DeBry women :). That's why it means so much to the Lord when we're willing to put "whatever we want" on the side and focus on "what's most important". Thanks for this beautiful post.
Oooo...I like your idea of trading lessons! The Royal Conservatory in Toronto is doing some testing with that. Fun! How about lessons via Skype? :o)
Heh...this would be easier by email!
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