Ptolemy says he doesn't like to go to nursery at church. He doesn't really cry; he's above that. He does grumble, but he goes. Today he saw an opportunity and took it. He heard one of the leaders saying to another that somebody was stinky. Tolly ran over to the leader and said, "I'm stinky! I'm stinky!" The leader didn't verify it, but brought him to me in Relief Society. Tolly sauntered up to me and said quietly and menacingly out of the corner of his mouth, "I don't need-a go to nursery!"
He was right. He got to go on a leisurely walk to the restroom with his mama instead of singing with the other two-year-olds. Very clever, since he wasn't the least bit stinky. Next he'll be coming home with his pockets full of dirt and cement, if it comes to having to dig out.
Lest you think Ptolemy is the only criminal in our family, Xanthe and Esmae have been practicing their phone skills by calling their parents' phones and leaving cute messages. I thought it was good practice for them until Esmae came up from Coco's basement and reported, "Xanthe is calling 911!" I ordered them to bring me the phone so I could confiscate it. Not two seconds after Xanthe earnestly reassured me that she hadn't really called 911, the phone rang. Caller ID showed it was the county. Add lying to her rap sheet.
As we waited for the officer to come, all the adults and some of the more self-righteous kids lectured the girls until Esmae was sobbing, "I don't want Xanthe to go to jail!" Bill told Xanthe that the prosecutor (Scott) probably wanted her to go to jail, but that the officer would just talk to her nicely. The more we all tried to elicit some remorse out of Xanthe, the more distraught Esmae became. Xanthe...not so much. As it turned out, the dispatcher was able to stop the officer from coming and thus Esmae was spared the fate of never seeing her cousin again.
What's next? I'm just afraid to ask.
He was right. He got to go on a leisurely walk to the restroom with his mama instead of singing with the other two-year-olds. Very clever, since he wasn't the least bit stinky. Next he'll be coming home with his pockets full of dirt and cement, if it comes to having to dig out.
Lest you think Ptolemy is the only criminal in our family, Xanthe and Esmae have been practicing their phone skills by calling their parents' phones and leaving cute messages. I thought it was good practice for them until Esmae came up from Coco's basement and reported, "Xanthe is calling 911!" I ordered them to bring me the phone so I could confiscate it. Not two seconds after Xanthe earnestly reassured me that she hadn't really called 911, the phone rang. Caller ID showed it was the county. Add lying to her rap sheet.
As we waited for the officer to come, all the adults and some of the more self-righteous kids lectured the girls until Esmae was sobbing, "I don't want Xanthe to go to jail!" Bill told Xanthe that the prosecutor (Scott) probably wanted her to go to jail, but that the officer would just talk to her nicely. The more we all tried to elicit some remorse out of Xanthe, the more distraught Esmae became. Xanthe...not so much. As it turned out, the dispatcher was able to stop the officer from coming and thus Esmae was spared the fate of never seeing her cousin again.
What's next? I'm just afraid to ask.
5 comments:
Hey,that is a great idea! Next time church gets a little too long, I just might fake a stinky myself!
Love it. I don't have to remind you about our own personal 911 experience that brought Thanksgiving to a hault. :) Oh... Good times!
Those kids may need to pull their dad's connections at some point! As my mom would say-good thing they are cute!
This just cracks me up! We have had 911 dialed twice at our house. I hate those call back calls where they ask did you mean to and you have to say no, I am just a bad parent and wasn't watching my kid.
Both are really funny to read about! Makes me feel good about our in-house criminal:) Glad the prosecutor didn't get to take Xanthe off.
Post a Comment