When Xanthe's report card came home and I realized how much work had to be done, I thought, "I can't possibly do any more." Piano 20 minutes a day, reading 20 minutes a day, her homework packet 20 minutes a day, her math homework, her French spelling words, her English spelling words, her baggie book, her reading buddy book...it wouldn't be easy even if she were my only kid. Add the fact that all of this is not enough to keep her at grade level and it's overwhelming!
Truthfully, we haven't done as much as we should. With a family, the focus has to constantly shift from one child to another to meet everyone's needs. Xanthe is the squeaky wheel right now. Since I can't create more hours in the day, I have to - again - reevaluate my organization. I have to make sure the little kids practice before school, which means over an hour of my time. (Another squeaky wheel needs lots of cello intervention this week to get ready for a recital on Saturday. No independent practicing for Ari this week.) Each time I want to do something else, I have to sit down with Xanthe instead and read or do math. When I run a kid to ballet, I have to take Xanthe in the car so we can quiz math facts. When I'm helping someone else, I have to get Xanthe settled with a book first. At bedtime, I have to take an extra ten minutes to go over the spelling words, even though I just want the little live-wire to go to sleep! (We figured out a way to do math at bedtime: Counting down the number of times Xanthe makes her bed. Six more and I will make her a soft blanket.)
It sounds like a lot of work, but for some reason, all this extra effort is easier than bearing the feelings of inadequacy and fear that go along with falling behind. I actually look forward to the kids coming home and getting started on their assignments, especially Xanthe. I can't explain why putting in more effort makes a job easier than just getting by, but it's a good lesson to apply in all areas.
I just spent a month with a squeaky-wheel Freestone, learning his graduation piece for Suzuki Book One. I knew it would be almost impossible to learn Gavotte in that short of a time, but I HAD to get it done. It cost us $25.00 in Skylander guys, but it was worth it to see Freestone so motivated, and to achieve the goal: playing in the graduation recital.
The other kids complained about Freestone getting rewards, so I told them to bring me a proposal and I would give them a reward, too. Now Golda is working on 52 days in a row of practicing for $52.00, which is a great deal, considering she would have been forced to practice for free anyway! :) But I knew she was in a slump and needed something.
With Xanthe's work, my payback will come when she catches up to her peers. My motivation is that she will be kicked out of the French program if we fail. The donkey and the carrot analogy is so true. Sometimes you just need that carrot dangling in front of your face. Half of raising kids successfully is just reinventing the carrot...for the kid and for yourself.
Truthfully, we haven't done as much as we should. With a family, the focus has to constantly shift from one child to another to meet everyone's needs. Xanthe is the squeaky wheel right now. Since I can't create more hours in the day, I have to - again - reevaluate my organization. I have to make sure the little kids practice before school, which means over an hour of my time. (Another squeaky wheel needs lots of cello intervention this week to get ready for a recital on Saturday. No independent practicing for Ari this week.) Each time I want to do something else, I have to sit down with Xanthe instead and read or do math. When I run a kid to ballet, I have to take Xanthe in the car so we can quiz math facts. When I'm helping someone else, I have to get Xanthe settled with a book first. At bedtime, I have to take an extra ten minutes to go over the spelling words, even though I just want the little live-wire to go to sleep! (We figured out a way to do math at bedtime: Counting down the number of times Xanthe makes her bed. Six more and I will make her a soft blanket.)
It sounds like a lot of work, but for some reason, all this extra effort is easier than bearing the feelings of inadequacy and fear that go along with falling behind. I actually look forward to the kids coming home and getting started on their assignments, especially Xanthe. I can't explain why putting in more effort makes a job easier than just getting by, but it's a good lesson to apply in all areas.
I just spent a month with a squeaky-wheel Freestone, learning his graduation piece for Suzuki Book One. I knew it would be almost impossible to learn Gavotte in that short of a time, but I HAD to get it done. It cost us $25.00 in Skylander guys, but it was worth it to see Freestone so motivated, and to achieve the goal: playing in the graduation recital.
The other kids complained about Freestone getting rewards, so I told them to bring me a proposal and I would give them a reward, too. Now Golda is working on 52 days in a row of practicing for $52.00, which is a great deal, considering she would have been forced to practice for free anyway! :) But I knew she was in a slump and needed something.
With Xanthe's work, my payback will come when she catches up to her peers. My motivation is that she will be kicked out of the French program if we fail. The donkey and the carrot analogy is so true. Sometimes you just need that carrot dangling in front of your face. Half of raising kids successfully is just reinventing the carrot...for the kid and for yourself.
9 comments:
Wow Mom! You deserve a reward at the end of this! A pedicure for you? 30 minutes of uninterrupted quiet time?
What a blessing you are to your sweet children and how blessed they are to call you, 'Mom!'
You put into words exactly how I'm feeling this week as I realized that I just expect Jacob to get good grades on his own and he has needed help memorizing math facts for some time now. Once again, I don't know how you do it with all you have going on. And I agree, when you do put in the extra work and see the results, it's well worth it! Good luck with Xanthe!
Keep it up Circe, you're doing great! Before you know it they will all be raised and we'll wonder where the time went.
I really like the proposal idea. May steal that. And Shelter is my carrot every week!
way to go!!! well said and done!!
I totally agree with the "squeaky wheel" analogy. I think we can all relate. Sometimes I feel like I just get one rhythm down in life and then I'm required to change. I guess that is why life is so fun and interesting.
I know you can help X. If anyone can do it, you can. Plus, you have an arsenal of great tools - possibly resource, Coco the great, "student teachers" a.k.a. older siblings and cousins. Spread the wealth and let those around you help with the task. We all want to be supermom, but sometimes that is a tall order. We are here too. We'd love to have X up to practice Sam books. :)
AND you are 9 months pregnant! You're great. Thanks for your inspiration.
Doing a great job with all and come up with something every time one of the children need help, you truly do reinvent!..and do a great job at it!...Keep up the good work, only ten days!...Keep me posted, pleeeease!....Love Triciaxo
I have a daughter that needs lots of help with her homework too...learning issues.
I used to spend 4 to 5 hours a day. I finally hired a tutor (a seriously smart girl in our ward) and I pay her for 2 hours a day. Then I only have 2 hours to do. Man, life is good this way. Of course, I gag everytime I write the check, but it is better that feeling like you said badly if you don't help enough....or overwhelmed! I hate feeling both ways.
Sometimes I feel darned if I do and darned if I don't.
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