U.S. History and Squid

Ari, top row, third from the left.

Ari's line was, "Harriet Beecher Stowe wrote a book called Uncle Tom's Cabin, which helped many of our ancestors to see that slavery was wrong."

Tonight was Ari's long-awaited 5th grade program.  Ari looked beautiful with her hair all curled and her make-up expertly done by Golda, and she was nervously excited as she walked to the school with Scott.  For quite some time, I have been looking forward to this wonderful program.  I would have liked nothing more than to settle in and relax for the duration of the show.  But as I watched my darling girl and her classmates, part of my thoughts were with Freestone at home babysitting.  He is a very responsible boy, but babies can be unpredictable.  I was also conscious of the time.  I knew I had to leave by 8:00 to get the girls from their church activity to modern before my violin lessons started.  It was annoying to have to think, "It's 7:28 and we're only to the Civil War," instead of just being in the moment.

Sitting between Scott's parents and my parents, I realized that my mind will probably never be in just one place, ever.  Between the four grandparents, they had 12 children and in-laws and 33 grandchildren somewhere else, as they sat and focused on their little Ari's program.  They had to have been worrying about someone's job or schoolwork or health or happiness or safety.  Can they ever really relax?  Can I?  I feel like my brain has invisible tentacles that stretch to the breaking point to encompass everyone and everything I'm responsible for.  Sometimes I wish I could retrieve the parts of my brain and put them all back inside my skull, and then turn all my attention to just one thing at a time without my thoughts wandering off and pointing out things like, "An ambulance just went by and the kids are home alone." Or "If I leave in five minutes, I can still make it to ballet."

In spite of my squid-like brain, I was tuned in enough to the program to have a lump in my throat the whole time.  The best moment of the night was when the children sang the songs for all the branches of the military and Bruce and Felshaw both stood up as veterans.  Scott and I are so proud of them.  We got lucky having such remarkable parents.  If parents got score cards, ours would have 100%, plus extra credit.

Scott would have an A+ as well.  For me, the grades are still out.  It's hard to get an A.  One slip-up and you get that dreaded minus.  I feel like I'd better do some extra credit, so I'm taking Ari to lunch today to celebrate her once-in-a-lifetime 5th grade program.  While we're at lunch, I'm not going to wonder if Golda and Ruby have everything turned in as the term ends.  I'm not going to calculate how long it will take everyone to practice after school, or plan our night's schedule.  I won't have to be anywhere right after and I promise I won't be preoccupied about anyone else's problems.

Think I can do it?

Have you ever tried to stuff an octopus into a milk jug?