Reparations

This morning was a tiny bit of a parenting disaster.  I blame it on the dog and her stupidity, but it was probably more due to my morning-after blues.  I had that "Hee Haw" feeling that Scott used to get on Saturdays as a kid when all the sports programming ended and Hee Haw came on TV, just as dusk settled in.  It felt like all the good stuff was over and the stupid, banal and pointless stuff was all that was left to look forward to.  Last Thursday night was delicious, since the term had ended and there was no homework for the whole three-day weekend.  Just a big, fat agenda of fun ahead.  I even gave the kids a day off from practicing on their choice of Friday or Saturday and filled the time with parties and pumpkins and friends.  I know it was cloudy all weekend, but I remember it as brilliantly sunny anyway, just because of all the festivities.  I was in love with the Halloween season, and then it left me.

This morning, I searched every recess of my psyche for a glimmer of inspiration to launch a new week.  No luck.  Just empty candy wrappers and soggy, fallen leaves in my brain.  The kids must have felt equally uninspired because nobody could seem to get out the door.  All of the clouds worked themselves into an ugly storm which culminated in Ruby shouting, "Orchestra is stupid!" and me shouting, "Maybe YOU'RE stupid!"

Calling your kid stupid is mighty high on the Top Ten List of things never to do as a parent.  Even Freestone knows that.  He said gently, "Mom, you shouldn't say that.  How about if you're not the best person in the family anymore?"  Ruby left with a sullen glare and I found myself standing alone with my regret, demoted to "not the best person in the family."

There is more fix-it work involved in parenting than I thought, at least the way I do it, and I knew I had to fix this one.  I was staring down a future of angry backward glances from Ruby, and it was a specter that I did not like.  Coco took Xanthe for me and I checked Ruby out of school for lunch.  We went to the place we call "Tiny Spicy Chicken" and ordered two plates of...tiny spicy chicken.  Ruby's countenance gradually turned from stormy to sunny as we talked about her life and our goals.  She listed four things she wishes I would never do, and I listed four things I wish she would always do.  After lunch, we hit a bunch of stores looking for clearance Halloween things because the sun was shining and I just wasn't ready for Hee Haw to start.  Not yet.  Net ever.