But then the house has to be straightened up. In my world, getting five kids to help clean up is like pulling five unconscious sumo wrestlers up a steep hill with a rope. Sometimes loud voices prevail. It was at the tail-end of a the kind of awesome day I could easily have won a Good Parenting medal for, that the kids were helping me clean up the house. I heard Xanthe say to a big sister, "Mama is mean." And the big sister replied, "Get used to it. She's always mean." Here I thought I was June Cleaver and it turns out I'm Miss Hannigan?
Just like that, eight hours of smooth sailing, wiped out by one rogue wave. I really want to be good at the one role that I value above all others. But how? When it comes right down to it, being mean is part of my job as a mom, therefore I will periodically be hated and despised by my children, the very people I love most in the world. That hurts! I want to be nice all the time, I do! These kids are so much fun. But we all know kids whose parents are nice (read: indulgent) all the time, right? I'm trying to raise responsible, bright, thoughtful, kind, accomplished and intelligent kids here, but so far, we're still working on the basics: "Pick up your coat." We're way behind! Of course I'm stressed! We're still on Lesson One, Picking Up Your Coat, and I just know we should be on Lesson 500 by now. My kids have all this potential to be the kind of decent human beings who put their coats away and I'm ruining them because I'm no good at teaching the lesson. Can someone please tell me how to be mean in a nice way? Is it possible to be a responsible parent and still be universally adored at all times by your offspring? That's all I want. Oh, and world peace.
10 comments:
If you figure this one out PLEASE share! I found myself at the end of the day today wondering why I always seem to lose it at bedtime. That is when we are supposed share some profound thought and a hug and a kiss and peacefully see the day out. Never happens. It is always a battle. Oh, well we can always hope for world peace.
I'm mean, too! David is the nice parent at our house. Mom is usually the one who has to lay down the law and "teach her kids to work". You have plenty of love and affection to override your necessary streaks of meanness.
Teaching your kids to pick up their coats..Have you seen the new Karate Kid movie? If not, you should.
I was told by a very wise mother to "sacrifice perfection to teach responsibility." I'm sure you are one of the best moms out there at doing just that! Although I don't know you, I can tell by reading your blog entries that you are the kind of mom the rest of us wish we could be. Keep it up. :)
Try not to get down on yourself! As a child it is so easy to see discipline as being angry... but as the years go by we all become more grateful for the big and little lessons that our parents have taught us. You are raising incredible children Circe... it's because of you that they are already amazing :)
Ryan said he saw you at the movie last night. We all must have been escaping from the day. :) Popcorn and DC are always a good cure for rogue waves.
I love this post. I love whichever child telling Xanthe to "get used to it." That makes me smile:) Congratulations to a very great and "mean" mom.
Just for the record that wasn't me!
Golda
Oooh, Miss Hannigan? Wow. That is mean. I'm not sure which is worse, having small children that think you're mean, or having older children that think you're an idiot. :S
Well having small children that think you are mean, and an idiot isn't all that fun.
This isn't nice, but I find if I grad the backpack and tell Jake we're going on to find him a better and nicer mom, so hurry into the car, it at least mekes me feel better
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