House Hatha

 Downward-facing Chair pose.  Ari put the chair on a blanket to move it.  Clever, huh?

Ari came in from the slip n slide holding her shoulder and whimpering.  She said there was a collision and she thought her collarbone was broken, but that she was trying not to cry.  She wanted me to throw her in an ambulance and rush her to a doctor.  My motherly response was, "Ari, we are not going to the doctor today.  That does not sound fun.  For one thing, you have that concert tonight.  And we have the zoo tomorrow.  Now, can you help me move this couch?"

She did.  Guess it wasn't broken, huh?  With moving furniture, I can't help it, even though I know it's going to hurt my back.  Scott always asks why I didn't wait for him to do it.  Well, that sentence contains two clues.  One, the word "wait."  Two, the phrase "for him to do it."

So I have this technique of leaning against the furniture and slowly sliding it.  I pretend I'm not exerting any effort.  At the same time, I still realize that I will pay for my foolishness later, so I preemptively stuff an ice pack into my waistband. I also use leverage by sitting or lying against a wall and pushing the furniture with my feet.  And you should see me rolling a couch or a dresser down the stairs, end over end.  Because I am stupid enough to try anything, you'd be surprised what I can move.  I'm thinking about developing a form of yoga where you slide furniture around as you exhale.  Bikramodeling.  At the end of your workout, your house is remodeled.  Of course, it will be a show on HGTV called House Hatha.  It will be an excellent workout.  It will even cure broken collar bones.