Full Circle

 I am at a loss as to how this all happened so quickly.  Today is Ptolemy's last day of preschool.  I love how Miss Sharla is in the background of this picture, as if her job is done and she is launching Ptolemy into the world.  I just can't believe Miss Sharla is already in the background!  As I walked Ptolemy to her door for the last time this morning, the finality hit me like a slap in the face; eyes stinging, feeling surprised and betrayed.  All I could think was, "Thank heavens I have Tziporah!"

Just as I was about to get a picture with Miss Sharla and my baby boy, Tolly tripped and fell.  Like a four-year-old, he started bawling, reached his arms up and said, "Hold me, Mama!"  I was all too grateful to do that one more time, to pick up my preschooler and tell him he's OK and listen as his sobs slow down.  Before too long, of course, he was fine and ready to resume his pointing out of all the potato bugs.  Only he calls them "rolly pollies."  I didn't teach him that.  He's already learning so much from the world around him.

 I'm going to miss "Boyd" so much!  We already have a bigger, newer backpack in store for kindergarten embroidered with the name "Chip."  How lucky is that?  Chip is already Tolly's nickname!  But I'll have a hard time getting rid of the Boyd backpack, the one that has carried the workbooks to school and brought home the projects, each one scrawled with big, awkward letters spelling out "PTOLEMY."  I guess nobody told him how much easier it is to spell "BOYD."

I remember all the times I missed Ptolemy before he was born, and felt his presence.  I needed him here!  He was here, but not here, and I was something like homesick.

And then he was born, and each day since, we have all doted on him and basked in the miracle of his being here in our family.  I have been so happy with my adventurous little sojourner right by my side.  Now, suddenly, he is going to kindergarten, and then first grade.

And I'll miss him.  I'll need him here!  He will be here, but not here.  And I'll be something like homesick.