It's HIS Fault!

Teachers, just a quick note! I am no longer processing information, whether via email, peachjar or backpack flyer. From now on, I will send all of my children to school each day in a medieval costume with good walking shoes, sunscreen, their favorite stuffed animal, a treat for the class, a sack lunch, three dollars and a permission slip stating that they can go anywhere within state lines. I hope that covers it! And good luck.

It's getting to that point.  You know, the point where you're at the store at 8 am to pick up "a pound of cheese cut into blocks" for Shakespeare day, and your baby is wearing JUST her big brother's sports coat from Sunday because she had a fantastically explosive underpants situation on the way, and you had cleaned out your car to accommodate all the ballroom kids and their costumes, so there wasn't a scrap of spare clothing to be found under any of the seats.  Of course, you can't possibly explain this to the people at the store who think you're a crazy woman, unless you wear a sandwich board, but that would require advance preparation and there ain't none of that going on anywhere right now.

I also didn't have a sandwich board last night when I talked to a guy at Big Daddy's Pizza between baseball and play practice. I thought he was our 4th grade teacher from last year, but he wasn't.  He was the orthodontist at whom I went ballistic for being chronically behind schedule, coincidentally, last MAY.  Speaking of orthodontics, holy foot in mouth!  He already thought I was "that insane mother."  Our little chat about how 4th grade was going this year just confirmed what he already knew.  I am that insane mother. I pinpoint that moment as the moment I should have gone to the store to pick up the pound of cheese, but forgot because of the 4th grade teacher/ortho encounter.  If I had remembered then, I wouldn't have been at the store with a biohazard of a child in a seersucker sports coat this morning.  So the ortho is really to blame for all of my problems, just like last year.  Don't tell him, though.  He is a really super nice guy.  (Unlike me!)