Stormy Weather

 Friday was a hurricane.  There were dark, black, gathering clouds.  There were cyclonic winds.  There was fear and despair.

And there was the light at the end of the tunnel.

 I'll spare you all the stormy details, and suffice it to say that Ruby learned what dancers are talking about when they say that it's a mental game.  She had to put aside her doubts and fears and past failures and successes, and find beneath the rubble of all that, her confidence.  It sounds as easy as a cliche, but the reason people always allude to "mental toughness" is that...it's tough.  There were way too many good dancers trying out.  There was one moment when I had my doubts, but Ruby found found her way.  Scott and I took her to lunch and were throwing all kinds of pep talks at her.  I finally resorted to saying, "Ruby, encouraging thought!  Sports metaphor, promise involving a percentage, inspirational dance quote!  Second sports metaphor, reminder of past personal trial overcome, anecdote re: Michael Jordan, supportive cheer!"

What more could we say?  The ball was in Ruby's court.  (See?  There's that sports metaphor!)  Ruby got to the audition in time to be Dancer #1.  I thought that was a good omen.  I had made a conscious decision to only think about a positive outcome.  I prayed, of course.  I prayed that Ruby would know her worth, and do her best.  And I visualized the outcome we have all been dreaming of for years:  Golda Dopp and Ruby Dopp, the two names together on the list of new Dance Company members.  Crazy as it sounds, I chanted it in my car throughout the day:  "Golda Dopp and Ruby Dopp" became my mantra, as I pictured the final list.  In this highly embarrassing video, you can hear me say it one last time, at the very beginning.  Scott and I waited in the car while the girls checked the list.  The drive to the school was agony.  Golda's friend had texted to tell us that the list was up, but promised not to say anything about the results.  I couldn't even entertain the thought of Ruby not being on the list.  I would deal with that if it happened.

 Just like I pictured it:  Golda Dopp and Ruby Dopp.

 The implications of this moment will ripple through time.  It was one of those pivotal moments where you don't realize everything just changed, but it did.  Next year, Ruby and Golda will be driving, they will have Dance Company together, it will define their friendships and, in part, decide their fates.  Close on the heels of their exultation was the bitter disappointment of the friends that weren't on the list.  Both girls were anxious to leave the school before someone came along who hadn't made it, but they weren't quick enough.  It is painful to see the girls and their parents for whom things didn't play out right.  Scott and I were bawling about it later, after the adrenaline wore off.  (Emotional day!)  We cried for all the parents of broken-hearted girls.  We've been on both sides of the love-hate relationship that comes with auditions, and we know the acute disappointment when someone doesn't choose your child.  The "whys," the desire to fix the hurt of your child, and the rejection you feel that your child wasn't chosen.  It is awful.

Ruby knows that, too, and turned quickly from celebrating to lamenting her friends that didn't make the cut.  She was very concerned about them, and refused to post anything on social media that would look celebratory.  A lot of good dancers and wonderful girls were disappointed that night.

These four were among the lucky ones.  The two Dopp sisters and the two Abel sisters.  It's going to be an awesome year for sisters!  I am proud of Golda as a dancer, and proud of Ruby for overcoming injuries and insults and finally getting to the other side.  I heard that she was "absolutely stunning" in the audition.

The sun has broken through the clouds.