Happenings and Cousins

Irony?

Xanthe registered for seventh grade! It was pretty anticlimactic. YW was held at ta different time, during which I had scheduled Xanthe's seventh grade registration, so she had to miss a fun outing with her church friends. And the registration was a total non-event. I could have just driven to the junior high and turned in a paper. I did get into a skirmish with the resource teacher, though. They're always wanting to push Xanthe in math, and I'm always saying that she loves math, as long as you don't push her to "catch up" with the other kids. This has been an ongoing battle all of sixth grade. I finally convinced her teacher that she can't suddenly jump from a 4th grade math level to a 6th grade math level, and now she's happy, doing online math for hours at night sometimes. I really don't want her spending copious amounts of time "catching up" in her worst subject when she could be doing just ok at it and enjoying it, and other aspects of her life. But I digress.

Esmae also missed YW for the non-event of junior high registration, and we ran into each other afterwards. These girls are turning out to be wonderful young women.

Speaking of homework, I had to document this picture, which is what it should look like every night when everyone is doing homework, but it rarely does. I could be more organized about it if I 1. Had one kid 2. Cared more 3. wasn't so tired from working all day and 4. was 15 years younger.

The Bazails came from Miami!  Lincoln and Sarah came first, while Alex was at a field trip in Washington, DC. Tricia and Jim took Lincoln and Ptolemy to Boondocks and to dinner and a movie, and basically spoiled them for two days. Then Lincoln spent two days in the mayhem of the Dopp house playing video games and eating pizza.

Celi, her friend Gabe and Freestone made cookies upon my command one night.

Freestone stepped in to help PT and Lincoln win Fortnight by eliminating all the other players, so they could all go to bed. Such a helpful child! He really is.

Sunday, Roland and Alex had arrived and the whole fam came for Sunday dinner. We love our Bazail side of the family. Especially since Sarah brought a bag of Rocky Mountain fudge. Now they're off for some glamping in Zion, while we slog away on our math and homework. Next week, spring break for the Dopps and we're readyyyyyyyyy!

Weight

There have been something like 18 school shootings in this country in 2018. Despite what gun-rights activists say, that is insane. Americans react to guns far differently than they react to everything else. The mental gymnastics that people go through to justify their views on guns is astounding to me. To highlight that point, my friend Ray posted on Facebook, "I have decided to make the Third Amendment central to my identity." Ludicrous, right? "No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war..."

I understand gun ownership and I know that many gun owners are all for some common-sense restrictions. What I don't understand is the fear tactics that cause people to literally make the Second Amendment central to their identity. You will never build up an arsenal big enough to defeat the United States. That doomsday scenario is NOT more important than solving, with a multi-faceted approach, the problem of gun violence in our schools. But as soon as someone argues that it's not a gun problem, it shuts down the discussion. After Stoneman Douglas, the students there started a campaign that has gained national traction. Second Amendment fanatics have discounted it! They say it's driven by the media and big sponsors. I say it hit a nerve and took off, because so many people feel like we have to do something. The kid that shot 17 classmates was a mentally ill 18-year-old who had been reported to local police and the FBI for threatening to do exactly what he ended up doing. And yet he was able to purchase a military-style assault rifle without a waiting period, at age 18, an age when his frontal cortex is not fully developed. Surely we can change that without threatening the Second Amendment.

This is where the arguments come in like, "Should we ban your car because it kills people?" How can you not see that a car accident and a school shooting rampage are different? Your car is not designed to slaughter people. An AR-15 is designed to slaughter people. It is not for hunting. It is for killing. If it were anything but a gun, we would carefully regulate it. America's fetishization of guns is making people unreasonable and putting our children at extreme risk. I know, when you were a kid, everyone had guns and nobody got shot. But just like a soldier isn't going to knock on your door and ask for room and board, guns are different now, and so are the purposes people want them for. We have to adapt in any and all ways we can. I'm sad that we can't all agree that a mentally ill 18-year-old should not own a gun. I know he could get his mother's gun or whatever, but I think it's harmful for kids to see adults defend gun ownership not in a reasonable way, but in a militaristic way that doesn't allow discussion, and this after seeing more children get shot in school.

The other argument that is being pushed is that it's not the guns, it's the KIDS who are responsible for their own murders because they weren't nice to the misunderstood outcasts who shot up their schools. Now we're asking today's teenagers to be kinder and more inclusive than any generation before them. Guess what? They already are, so that's not a problem. But you can't ask them to be super human. Araceli is a child who is acutely attuned to people around her and their needs. Ever since a friend of hers committed suicide when she was in 8th grade, she has been hyper-aware of suicidal tendencies in her peers. She has spent hours talking to friends, talking them down. She notices people and she tries to help them. This comes at an enormous cost, an unbearable cost. I can't even overstate the cost. One year ago, we got a call from the school, and Scott pulled Araceli out of school and drove her to a concert in Las Vegas because the weight of taking on so many of her peers' problems was sinking her.

My brother asked me, "Why would they drive all the way to Vegas to see a B-grade band?"  What do I say? "Scott did it so Araceli wouldn't kill herself this weekend." Asking more of children is not the answer. They get it. They are far more inclusive and accepting than any generation before them, but they cannot save everyone. They cannot be asked to. They are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, and they area asking for help from adults. I say we help them in every way necessary.

This is my opinion. I have heard yours. Please don't. Thanks.

Delicate Adventure

Araceli always has big ideas, and I love it when I can facilitate them. And if I can combine her big ideas with a road trip, even better! The kids didn't have school Monday, so we set off early Sunday morning with a motley crew of teens and tweens, to hike Delicate Arch. The weather looked iffy, so we left at 5 am instead of 4, to avoid the cold and possible rain.  We had Riley Servoss, Araceli's friend who moved to Idaho Falls, Carson Gapinski, Araceli's love interest du jour, Vilina, Freestone, and Ptolemy, our trip mascot.

Well, the weather didn't pan out like expected. There was son on Highway 6 between Provo and Price. When we got to Price, I thought we were through the storms, so we stopped for an unhurried breakfast. I was peeved when the snow started falling between Price and Green River. It got bad. There was noplace to pull over, low visibility and the roads were starting to cake with snow and ice. The kids were having a jolly old time in the backseat, which led to more angst on my part as I gripped the wheel. Long story short, there was an accident just ahead of us and we were stopped on the roadway for over an hour. The whole time we were stopped, I was just grateful that we were safe. Nobody minded much that we were delayed, and soon we were on our way again, driving slowly past the grim scene of the accident. It didn't look like there was enough damage for anyone to be seriously injured, so I hope everyone was ok.

The weather cleared for us as we started our hike to Delicate Arch. It's a fun hike with a big payoff at the end, so I like it. Delicate Arch is one of the most iconic landmarks in the state. By the time we got there, however, it was windy and there was a fine snowfall pelting us in the face. We stayed for awhile taking pictures and joking around, but it wasn't comfortable, necessarily. On the way down, Araceli realized she had lost her glasses. Carson sprang into action and found them by asking various other hikers, one of whom has set them on a rock. Crisis averted. This was the most easygoing, fun group of kids ever. By the time we got to the car, we were frozen, and it took us hours to thaw out. We had lunch in Moab and headed back to Price to enjoy our hotel's hot tub. That was nice!

We stayed at the Greenwell Inn, which I highly recommend next time you're in the boomin metropolis of Price, Utah. It was 60 bucks a night, and the pool and hot tub are in a nice, big building. There's actually plenty of food options in Price, and even some things to do.  The kids were pretty beat, though, and everyone fell asleep without me having to tell them to. Mission accomplished.

In the morning, Ptolemy and I went on a little tour or Price where we admired the Greek Orthodox church and the McDonald's. He's at an age where he realizes that not everyone is just like him, which is important. The other day, he said, "I was watching a show, and I'm guessing the characters weren't Mormon, because the dad said, 'It's Sunday! We dont have anything planned! We can spend the whole day together as a family!'" Poignant, sad, funny. I guess that's how a kid feels when his dad is in the bishopric. Anyway, the Greek Orthodox church in Price is beautiful.

In no tie, we were headed home, with no weather or traffic problems, and another fun adventure was in the books. For one last memorable event, my car hit 100,000 miles between Price and Provo. Exciting! I've put over 75,000 miles on it in 2.5 years. Man, that's a lot of memories!

Walgreen Celebrates St. Patrick's Day

Ptolemy can NEVER find anything to wear. He would stay in the same outfit day after day if we let him, and sometimes we do because we don’t notice. But on St. Patrick’s Day, he woke up and somehow found the perfect outfit! Green pants, green shirt, green socks and shoes. The leprechauns left some goodies, along with this hip scarf, cool hat and light-up necklace. Ptolemy was so in character that he changed his name to “Walgreen”for the day and spoke in third person. “Walgreen is ready to go.” “Walgreen is hungry.” Oh my, he is so funny with his freckles and buck teeth. I just love Walgreen!

Scott was in the mood to go on an adventure, having just returned from our fun trip to Colorado. He took Walgreen and his little admirer, Tziporah, and went to the aquarium. They had a great day and got spoiled. The adventure ended at City Creek where they waited for Freestone to get out of ballet.

Scott is hanging onto every last moment with these two little kids, which is wonderful, because I am SO over most of the things that go along with this stage. It’s so fun to see Scott enjoy things with the littles. They are easy to please and super fun. I’m glad we have their innocence and energy in our lives.

Rocky Mountain High

Golda has been in a post-mission depression since she got home and discovered that life is meaningless when you're not spreading the joy of the gospel in Hong Kong. Really, re-entry is rough. It's hard. Looking back, my advice to families who have a missionary come home, is MAKE TIME FOR THEM! Just put thing son hold. They're disoriented and sad. They just need your presence. Golda got home December 1, and we were BUSY! It was Christmastime, which involves an amped-up schedule already, but we also had Golda's homecoming, Ptolemy's baptism, Ruby's mission call, dozens of Nutcracker performances, a busy music store and countless parties and events to host and attend. I pictured Golda just jumping into the fray, but she was unable. She felt lost and superfluous. From the outside looking in, she felt like we didn't need her. I was constantly asking her to do things like drive kids to ballet, which I thought was helpful to "keep her busy" and help her integrate into life again. And, I'm sad to admit it, I was a bit impatient with her sincere sorrow. I told her it was normal, and she needed time to get over it, which was true, but what I didn't do was take the time to just BE with her. None of us did. We were all so happy to have her back, we didn't want to notice that she was drowning in the life that we had so eagerly anticipated her being a part of again.

It wasn't all bad. There was a lot of fun to be had, and slowly Golda oriented herself, but she needed to do something big, to get her heart pumping again. She booked a trip to Europe. She used every penny she had, which is the Dopp way, to arrange this trip. She worked for me on weekends at the store, and took any odd job she could find. She starved and saved food money. She took public transportation instead of driving. She needed this.

The flight she booked was out of Denver, because it was a steal of a deal. Nonstop to Paris for like $450 over spring break. Scott and I were more than happy to drive her to Denver so we could spend time with her. It was a super fun trip. We woke up early and drove without incident to Fort Collins, where we had lunch at a trendy little burger place. We dropped off Golda at the airport where she commented, "I hope this trip fixes me." If anything can fix a person, it's a couple weeks in Paris and London with old friends.

We interrupt this blog post to imform you that Araceli got her drivers license. Is that how you spell it, really? Blogger is being weird with pictures, and it's hard to upload them, so I'm leaving these here. Celi having her license has been great. It saves me SO much driving! She's working hard to be responsible and not do anything spontaneous like driving to San Francisco instead of going to seminary. She probably would if she could afford the gas.

Anyway, these pictures are in random order, but after dropping excited little Golda off, Scott and I drove back to Fort Collins. We used our free Marriott night to book the best, most darling hotel. It's called The Elizabeth, and you have to stay there. I haven't been to Fort Collins for 25 years. Long ago, I spent a week there, staying with a violin varnish guru, Geary Baese, learning his varnish secrets and riding in his Model T Ford over to Estes Park for a party. Eccentric guy, and now I see why he chose Fort Collins as his home. It's full of characters who would drive a Model T over the Rockies for a party. As a weekend getaway, Fort Collins is incredible. Scott and I discovered far too many cool places to enjoy in just one night. We had an amazing time. We'll definitely go back to try some of the restaurants we didn't get to sample and stroll the downtown area further. It was so vibrant on a Thursday afternoon, so full of people, most of them older like us, just enjoying life. We loved it.

The next day, we set out early so we could be home to work. Unfortunately, I-80 was closed due to wind and snow. What could have been a 6-hour drive turned into a 12-hour journey over the Rocky Mountains. As soon as we got everything at home squared away, we enjoyed the drive. It was touch and go over the pass outside Vail, because it was snowing and we were afraid we would be turned back without four wheel drive. Everything was fine, though, and the weather wasn't too bad. We stopped in Vail for some ramen and made a new friend, the chef. He was from California. We had a nice chat. 

In just two days, we experienced a super fun getaway in a place that's close by, yet a world away. Travel doesn't have to be exotic of expensive to feed your soul.