Golda's Calendar

Of all the things Golda could have inherited from my example, she chose calendaring in this arcane, outdated way, instead of just using Google, or whatever the new thing is.  I am secretly delighted.  The heft and colorfulness of my calendar makes me happy.  Golda's is much more pretty than mine, with her exquisite handwriting.

I'm continually surprised and awed by my children and their accomplishments and capabilities, especially when those things seem to be completely of their own doing.  They're all so much smarter than Scott and I could have engineered them to be, and so much more pure and good.  It is comforting when a bit of me appears to have rubbed of on one of our offspring.  Then I can congratulate myself and Scott and say, "See?  You've done a good job."  In my heart, I feel it wasn't really us, but it's nice to have had a bit part in the process of creating these beautiful humans.

Xanthe's Actual Birthday

These pictures above are from Xanthe's Saturday party.  The enxt day, we had the Kings over for Xanthe's actual birthday.  She loves feeling like the queen, and ate up every ounce of the attention.  It's fun to celebrate Xanthe.  She just loves it, and her sweet little face lights up.  We celebrated with the Dopps on another Sunday, but I guess I didn't take pics.  Grandma and Grandpa gave Xanthe a heavenly, warm blanket to wrap up in.  She loves it.

But first, church.  Here's Tizzy giving the sacrament to her Beanie Boo.  Highly sacrilegious on many levels, not the least of which was me snapping a photo.

Bookmarks from the Saturday party

Xanthe loves Tricia and Jim.  They are so generous and supportive.  We love having them around, and Tricia has been under the weather lately, so we've missed them!

Coco and Bill gave Xanthe a big bag of lunch items like juice boxes, and also those individual boxes of cereal.  She has relished using all those things.

See what I mean?  Look at that eager face!  Xanthe has such a beautiful heart.  She is so forgiving and so resilient, and getting to be so much fun.  She is hilarious sometimes.  We're getting a Chinese foreign exchange student next year, and Xanthe's reaction was hilarious.  She said, "But you already HAVE a Chinese kid!"  Later, she put her hand dramatically over her heart and declared, "I feel so BETRAYED!"  She's so funny!  I think on some level, she does feel betrayed!  In a family with sevel kids, you have to stand out somehow.  For Xanthe, that was always a given.  How will she stand out if there are TWO Chinese kids?  Ha ha!  Don't worry, Xanthe.  You'll always shine brighter than everyone else.

President Lam's Letter

Scott and I got an airmail letter from Hong Kong.  It was a rare and exciting thing to see those red-and-blue-striped envelope edges peeking out of the mailbox.  President Lam wanted us to write a letter about our daughter, so that he and Sister Lam could get to know her a little bit.  Here's the letter.

April 19, 2016

Dear President and Sister Lam,

We are Golda Dopp’s parents, Scott and Circe, and we were thrilled to receive your letter.  We know Golda will be in good hands with you, and we are happy she has the opportunity to live and teach the gospel in Hong Kong.

When Golda opened her mission call and read “China, Hong Kong,” a great cheer went up from our friends and family.  It was truly the perfect call.  We have seven children, Golda being the oldest.  Our fifth child is a girl whom we adopted from China, Hunan Province, in May 2006.  She is eleven years old now, and has a special bond with Golda.  It is humbling and exciting that Golda will have this connection to her sister’s birth culture.  When we traveled to China to adopt our daughter, we spent several days in Hong Kong and truly fell in love with the place.  We loved the description you gave of Hong Kong in your letter.  It must be an exciting crossroads, with so many coming, as you mentioned, from mainland China and other parts of the world.

You will adore Golda, I’m sure.  She is totally devoted to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  It is her deepest desire to share her love for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  She has a strong, abiding testimony, backed by a solid understanding of the gospel.  She is a rock of faith in our family.  The gospel is at the very core of who Golda is, and it shows in everything she does.

Golda is a ballet dancer who is finishing up her first year of college at Utah Valley University, majoring in ballet.  She has an extremely strong work ethic and is the most organized person you’ll ever meet.  If there is something to be done, she will have it written down on a list and accomplished before anyone else opens their eyes.  She has played the flute all her life, and loves music, all forms of dance, reading, studying, traveling and writing beautiful notes to her siblings and others.  She has spent two summers in Europe, living with friends of our family in France and Spain, so she is not afraid to get out into new cultures and find her way.  She has done quite well in school and on her own, learning French.  I know she will be determined and dogged in her efforts to learn and internalize Cantonese.  While her little sister would have heard Mandarin in her Hunan orphanage, Golda’s future fluency in Cantonese will still be a link between her and her sister’s heritage, one that she is grateful for.

There are many more things we could tell you about Golda, but we’ll trust you to get to know her as you direct her in her missionary service.  She is not fearless, but she is faithful.  She will tackle anything.  No trepidation she may feel will keep her from being brave.  Unless there is blood.  She faints at the sight of blood!  Just know that she will be willing and eager to do whatever is asked of her, and that she will do it prayerfully and with the help of the Lord and the support of her family.

With Love,

Scott and Circe Dopp,

Kaysville, Utah

Matilda

Xanthe turned eleven!  Her birthday is always accompanied by much anticipation and planning.  Xanthe definitely has a creative side, and loves to plan events.  This year, she chose to have a party based on the musical Matilda.  She has been working on a song from the musical for an audition.  That's the one she sang for everyone when Golda opened her mission call.  The theme sounded cute, so she spent a Sunday making invitations and gave them to all her school friends.  It was hard coming up with ideas for the party, but Xanthe had ideas.  We settled on a school setting, and Xanthe made a banner that said "SCHOOL." We borrowed desks from Coco for a fun backdrop and came up with some school-themed games.  Believe it or not, there are a few Matilda party ideas on Pinterest, and we used those.

This was my idea fail.  The scene from the movie where the boy is forced to eat a whole chocolate cake while the teacher screams, "You want cake, I'll give you cake!"  Yeah, that doesn't translate onto a cake.  Ha ha.  But we did have three chocolate cakes and the kids were encouraged to eat as much as they wanted.  Izzy won the unofficial prize of best cake eater.

Hello there, Snuggable!  We took this outfit with us to China.  Isn't she adorable!?

Xanthe is a crackup with the faces!

It took quite a few tries before we got a picture that was good.  I told them to look mad, or something, like the kids in the musical.  So they all looked like they were having a miserable time.

Anymore, I can't remember a single thing.  Just Saturday, we missed a wedding reception, at the same time as we were looking for something to do, because I clean forgot about it.  It's so frustrating.  So I wrote down all the party ideas and followed my outline while the girls were here.

Xanthe's faces!

This is Xanthe to a T.  I have about 10 of these on my camera.  She is so pensive and analytical, so slow and careful, whole birthday party can grind to a halt while she internally weighs the pros and cons of birthday wish options.

Our Matilda party was perfect.  Xanthe and Esmae came up with a game using white boards, and the party ended with the girls going all out on crafts with the glue guns and some old books they turned into works of art.  It was a great group of girls.  It makes me happy to see that Xanthe has so many friends, after repeating 4th grade.  She still has her tried-and-true friend, Aubrey, who is now in 5th grade, but many of her friends are new.  She has been able to make new friendships in her class and feel really successful in school.  Mr. Reeve has been the greatest teacher possible for her second year of 4th grade.  His class is positive, fun and laid-back, and he is just an excellent teacher, unlike the headmistress in Matilda!  I'm so grateful Xanthe got this extra year of growth and development, and so gratified to see it capped off with a joyous party, full of good friends and laughter.

Spring Dresses

 It's not often that you get asked to model spring dresses on TV.  Our piano/violin teacher also teaches fashion at Salt Lake Community College, and recruited Araceli for a little segment she did on Fox 13, about spring dresses.  This was literally the day after I had shut down Araceli's dream of signing with a modeling agency.  I had walked in right when she was on the phone with an "agent."  You really have to watch these highly independent kids.  They can get into trouble!

After putting the kabosh on Araceli's modeling agency deal (which actually looked pretty legitimate, but seriously?), I promised her I would look into something like modeling, even though I did. not. want. to.  So when Janet asked me about this the very next day, it was synchronicity.

Araceli and I had fun, and the segment turned out really cute.

Tziporah signed a contract with Modern Family.  Ha ha.  My favorite show.

Afterwards, Araceli came and helped me at preschool, and we finally tried the taco truck up the street.  It was good.  I'll go back.  The question is, how soon?

When we got home, Scott was getting ready to watch the segment.  It turned out great!  After, Araceli turned to me and said, "So.  What's next?"  Oh no.

Just a Thought

Do you know what is really starting to irritate me?  All these glib blog posts going around about how the parents of the 1970's sat around smoking Pall Malls and playing bridge, oblivious to the existence of their children, while the lucky youngsters fell out of trees, experimented with gunpowder and played in the woods until after dark with pedophiles. When they weren't doing all the work around the house and yard, that is. "AND WE ALL TURNED OUT JUST FINE," is the point of all these insipid comparisons of parenting style.

First of all, not everyone born in the 1970's turned out just fine. On the flip side, you may have noticed that quite a few children from the current generation are turning into successful adults, despite the fact that - gasp! - their parents cheer at their soccer games and help them with their homework!

The 1970's and '80's were a magical time for me, and probably for a lot of other kids who grew up during that time.  But do we have to glamorize the noxious parts of it, the Pall Malls and the occasional checked-out parent?  Those elements are still prevalent today, and nobody thinks it's great.  I fell out of trees as a kid, sure.  I had trees that I counted among my closest friends.  I know the feel of gunpowder between my fingers (I have no idea why, I just do), and I certainly played in the woods after dark, although all the monsters I encountered there were of my own imagination, thankfully.  I was also required to work hard.  If Mom or Dad had a lawn mower out, or a vacuum, or heaven forbid, all the contents of the garage out on the driveway, my participation was de riguer.  It's funny, though, my parents never sat in the corner smoking cigarettes and laughing at how hard their kids were working, or wondering where they were, as is the current caricature of the 1970's.  My parents were working right alongside their kids, just like Scott and I do now, with our sometimes less-than-enthusiastic kids.  Maybe some things have changed.  Maybe it's because some '70's kids didn't like how they were raised.  Scott and I, though, are following the pattern our parents set, and loving it.

So don't sit back and pompously detach yourself from being involved in your kids' lives, imagining you're some sort of retro-cool throwback to a classier era.  I can't believe it when I hear people bragging about how they don't help their kids with something or other.  Good parents have always loved their kids, fully and in person, by being at their games and recitals, supporting their schooling, providing opportunities for work and growth, and generally finding joy in being with them.  Bad parents have always made excuses for their indifference, blamed society for their shortcomings, and looked to the past for examples to support their laziness.

I'm not saying that good parenting can predict good outcomes.  Who knows how kids will turn out?  All I'm saying is, cut the '70's crap and embrace parenthood.  Grow a handlebar mustache and throw on some bell bottoms if you must, but look, your kids are the most important thing.  Come to think of it, maybe kids were hiding out in the woods until dark in the '70's because they were too embarrassed to be seen with their parents...or wearing the getups their parents put them in.  Who knows?  But it's worth writing a glib blog post about.

Sunnyvale

It would be so overwhelming to describe my experience at the ESL program, I don't know where to start.  I began volunteering with the Refugee and Immigrant Center, or the Asian Association of Utah, in January.  They put me with the kids whose parents are in the ESL program.  I was scared that I wouldn't like it and that it would be pure drudgery, entertaining a handful of Farsi-speaking preschoolers for 3 hours every Thursday.  But I wanted to be there, and to glimpse the life these recent immigrants are trying to carve out in their new country.

Surprisingly, I loved it.  Out of the blue, I suddenly found myself emailing the director, asking for a job as the interim preschool teacher, a position I had decided they should create for me.  They did.  It was actually the perfect timing and the perfect offer, as the program is expanding and they will need a more structured preschool setting, rather than just child care provided by volunteers.

I jumped in with both feet, the day after spring break.  I would be teaching 6 kids and one baby, including Tizzy, from 9:30 to noon every day.  On day one, I was introduced as "Circe, our new interim preschool teacher.  She will be developing the curriculum for our program for next year."  I smiled as I thought with alarm, "I will?!  I am?!"  So that's what I'm doing.  It's fun and not nearly as scary as I thought, and I have discovered that I can do something I never in a million years thought I could do: teach preschool.

Each day, Tizzy and I go and do our thing.  Tizzy has become much more outgoing and confident.  She told Scott that "My friend Yasser thinks it's funny when I make faces.  But we don't speak the same language."  Tizzy likes to pretend she speaks Farsi, when she gets tired of speaking "regularish."  The kids we have are: one 12month-old baby, one kindergarten boy, three 4-year-old preschool boys, one three-year-old girl, Tizzy, and one 4-year-old girl who is as timid and jumpy as a gazelle.  She is a beautiful child from Burma whose mother wears a full burka, face covered and everything. Despite the extreme language and cultural barriers, we have become friends of sorts.  They let me drive them home each day.  It's the most awkward and rewarding ten minutes of my day.

The other thing I love about preschool is "break time."  When I first started going to volunteer, the adults would take a break from English class and wander into the kitchen, where there was no food.  There might be a weak pot of coffee, or a couple of tea bags.  Maybe a stray box of crackers.  I would sit on the floor with the kids and stare into the kitchen, where the adults congregated in uneasy silence.  I would imagine my mother-in-law bringing in pans of brownies, lasagne, cornbread.  I would envision my mom laden with grocery bags full of fresh fruit.  I would think about our moms and other women in my life, and how much they would love to provide nourishment for these people, who are hungry in every way.  I would imagine these scenarios of plenty to distract me from the reality of the bare kitchen, which was fine, but which made me sad.

So when I started to job of full-time teacher, I just mentioned on Facebook that if anyone wanted to donate food to this snack time cause, that would be a good way to help.  It was the very same day that the LDS church broadcast General Conference, which included a request that people be mindful of and helpful towards the refugees, with this crisis in Syria impacting Europe so heavily.  Everyone was fired up to help, and I have had many generous friends donate food to make snack time happier.  It had made a big difference.  At 10:30 each morning, the kitchen is a happening place.  I help the children prepares something simple that the adults can enjoy, and I praise the kids for doing so.  The adults now have an expectation that there will be something for them, and it makes everyone just a little more friendly and a little more conversational. 

Food is a powerful force, not just for nourishment, but for community.  The best day we had, I think, was a rainy day when I took a crock pot of soup.  I let the kids each add a cup of ingredients and let it cook.  Everyone loved it when we had hot soup and bread.  We did chocolate-covered strawberries one day, whipped cream one day, to eat with fruit.  We cut up oranges and bananas and apples.  I buy day-old loaves of breads at Smith's.  It's so satisfying to provide these snacks, I have to be careful that I don't spend a fortune or get carried away.  I've been grateful for the donations that have enabled me to bring joy to Sunnyvale Community Center.  It's been humbling for me to watch.

Look at that, I was going to be brief.  I have stories to tell about my new friends and experiences.  The learning curve is steep, and I've grown every day.  I thought eight weeks might seem like an eternity, but I'm on week three and it's flying by too quickly.  I have so little time left to get all these kids ready for kindergarten, and so much work left to do.  They will all go into the public school system with limited English proficiency, little cultural fluency, and nobody by their side who understands how truly remarkable, how infinitely precious, how smart and strong and resilient they really are.  We at Sunnyvale have to bulk them up with as much love and learning as they can possibly hold, so that maybe, just maybe, someone in kindergarten will recognize a spark within them and see beyond what they lack, and know that they are brimming with hope and possibility.

Loving Life

Our mouse is broken, and I can't use the computer. And my new teaching gig takes up all my mornings. I love it so much. Look at these pictures of preschool, and I'll tell you all about it when the new mouse comes and I don't have to blog on my phone. Have a good week! :)