Ballet, Orchestra, Ballet

Once in awhile, Freestone does something other than dance. Last Tuesday he had a festival with his junior high orchestra. I got him out of his ballet class at Clytie's ten minutes early to get there on time, and pleaded with Mrs. Tuke, the orchestra teacher, to let him go a little early so he could get to Little Mermaid rehearsals. He changed in the car and shoved a snack into his dance bag. Why does all the sustenance I provide for my kids come on brown bags?

Our carefully choreographed plan was off by one minute. He didn't quite make it outside before his Ballet West carpool had to leave him, so I had to leave a violin lesson ten minutes early (sorry, Greta!) to rush him to rehearsal and zoom back to Kaysville for Ruby's variation night. Fortunately, Capitol Theater is just a straight shot on the freeway, not to many traffic lights. Freestone hates rushing, and the maniac I become when we are. I've learned to stay much more calm, thanks to Freestone. He'll say, "Mom, chiiiiiiill." It's a reversal of our dynamic when he was a baby. With Freestone, I found that I could calm his fussing by holding him against my chest, taking a deep breath, exhaling and relaxing my body. He would take the cue and settle right down. He's got zen in his soul. It's a beautiful thing, unless you're in a hurry.

I think if you could look into Freestone's heart, you would see a calm ocean of loving-kindness. He really is the nicest kid. He offhandedly tells me about nice things he's done, and I look at him in amazement. What 13 year old kid is so thoughtful? His reaction is, "Duh." Of course he treats people with the utmost care. I'll have to remember to act like that next time we're in a hurry. :)

Utah Youth

Araceli had her Utah Youth concert at Abravanel Hall recently.  I had enthusiastically signed up to be a chaperone backstage so I could relive my glory days.  Even though Utah Youth performed at Gardner Hall when I was in it.  But enough about me. 

Araceli and her stand partner Debbie, with a boy from another orchestra that Celi fell in love with in about 5 minutes backstage, (we can't remember his name) and a kid who jumped in the picture when I barked out, "Everyone scoot in!" 

Us being funny

Rehearsing Tchaikovsky"s 4th Symphony.  I've always been partial to the 5th, but this concert changed my mind.  They played it magnificently.

Grandma and Grandpa enjoyed the concert, even the new piece they played where it was all body percussion.  Araceli's orchestra didn't participate in that one, sadly.  It was the North American premiere of the piece, written by a British composer using clapping, slapping, voice, and body movements.  Ririe Woodbury helped them with choreography.  I love new music.  I feel like I understand the vocabulary of it, having played mountains of new compositions at Indiana.  I love it, especially when it's a premiere. 

I'm thankful Araceli is willing to do youth symphony.  She sometimes complains that "I'm following your dream, Mom, not mine."  I say, "Yeah.  Thanks!  You're the best!"  Don't worry, she's following plenty of dreams of her own.  She just wishes she were dreaming instead of driving to rehearsal at 8 am on Saturdays. 

Celli Celi

Utah Youth Junior Orchestra had a concert.  They are primarily a sight-reading orchestra, meaning new music every Saturday.  It's good preparation for the advanced orchestras, but they don't usually get to prepare a program.  They spent three weeks on the music for this program, and it was super.  Really, really good, in fact.  They played everything from Bach to Mahler to John Williams.  I was impressed.

Kiyan and Araceli were in an orchestra together last year and became good friends.  This year, Kiyan is in the Utah Youth Phil, and was one of the students who played in the jr, concert to fill out the orchestra.  Kiyan is the very nicest boy ever.  Seeing him motivated Araceli to try for the phil next year so they can see each other.

Araceli is sometimes like a playful little puppy.  She got a surprise snowfall when she opened the car door.  My nerves are shot from all the screams of surprise, delight or indignation Araceli throws out there.  I've told you we have a "No Gasping" policy while I'm driving, right?  Araceli is the only kid I've ever had to implement a rule like that for.  With Golda in the car, we practically had to have a no homework rule, as she utilized her time to accomplish things rather than engage in a friendly chat with her mother.  Ruby catches up on social media and reads me funny messages from friends...or at least she did before she got Maria, her red Caddy.  Freestone is ALL chatter.  I should have a silent rule with that kid.  He short-circuits my brain on a daily basis.  You should see me on the way home from the junior high, with all the Freestone chatter and the Araceli gasping, shrieking and rolling down her window to shout at acquaintances.  "Freestone!  What's that kid's name?!?  HURRY!!  Max.  It's Max.  (rolls down window)  "MAAAAAAXXX!"

My brain is fried.  Then there are always a hundred Ara-selfies on my phone.  I love these kids' energy, though.  I'm happy they're willing to wear their emotions on their sleeves, so that I don't have to guess what's going on inside their developing brains.  In that way, they're making my job as a parent easier, if I can just process all the wild emotions!

Utah Youth

Did I already tell you about Araceli and Freestone going to Utah Youth Junior rehearsals?  Probably, because I was so looking forward to it.  Araceli is practicing more and trying to progress quickly on cello.  She sometimes has to practice late at night because ballet ends at 9:45, and some days she really hasn't been home before that either, or if she was, she was taking care of kids and doing homework.  So sometimes it's 10:30 and she gets tired and comes in my room and gazes at me like a sad little dog.  Then I give her a pep talk and/or drag myself into her room and help her with her pieces.

To me, orchestra is the reward for all that practicing.  I wish I could be playing with the kids, but it's fun to just be there with them.  This was their first rehearsal with UYJSO.  Araceli auditioned back in the spring, did poorly, and got placed in this sort of starter orchestra.  It's good, though, because they do a ton of sightreading.  It's like boot camp for symphony life.  Freestone auditioned after the first rehearsal.  What he really wanted to do was throw the audition, but he didn't have it in him to blow it.  So he got in, much to his dismay.  I decided to have him wait a year, though, because the repertoire they were doing was way over his head.  I know it was sightreading, and if he really loved it, I would encourage him to stay in, but he kinda doesn't love it, so I'll wait a year, hoping it will be more enjoyable once he has a year of school orchestra experience under his belt.

These are the best kids.  Scott and I are so lucky to have them.

There's a ballet studio next to the rehearsal room, and it has a fireplace.  How cozy would that be to have a blazing fire next to you in class?  Anyway, I took Araceli to rehearsal this morning for the 2nd time, and it was a rainy, beautiful fall day.  I strolled around the area, 13th East and 3rd South, and then sat in my car and listened to General Conference.  It was exhilarating to be in the city on a Saturday morning, and cozy to listen to meaningful words of counsel.  Man, there just aren't any drawbacks to this orchestra thing, are there?  ;)

Utah Youth!!!

 Last school year, I went into it in August unwilling and totally unprepared mentally.  And I never got it together.  I forgot to send Ptolemy to kindergarten...a lot.  And even though I was scheduled to pick up Araceli every single day at 3:00, I forgot her...a lot.  I loved it when I was late and I found my little flower child propped up against her cello in the grass, patiently waiting.  Araceli was a fun 7th grader.  This is why I don't carpool; because even though I forgot all about her with alarming frequency, we had some good times in the car on the way home or to ballet.  I wouldn't want to turn that time over to someone else.  And I for sure wouldn't want to forget a whole batch of other people's kids!  Not carpooling meant that Araceli was left high and dry if I couldn't be there, so that was tricky sometimes not to have any backup.  She is a patient child, though, and we managed.

 That's not what I wanted to tell you, though!  I was going to tell you about Araceli's Utah Youth Symphony audition.  I'm sure everyone is bored to tears hearing about how much I LOVED my six (seven?  I think it was seven) years in Utah Youth.  Last year, Araceli couldn't audition because of ballet scheduling, and so she tried out for Jack Ashton's orchestras instead, which was a wonderful experience.  This next year, Jack's rehearsals conflict with ballet, so I scheduled Araceli for a Utah Youth audition.

 The morning of the audition (this was back in May, when we still had a modicum of ambition), 6:30 am at lessons with Elliott.  We call it "Chai Fri" because we start out with a little treat from Starbucks on the way to lessons at 5:25 in the morning.  If rhyming doesn't motivate you to get out of bed, I don't know what will.

  Elliott helped Araceli prepare some scales and two contrasting movements for the audition.  She was nervous warming up.  Her scales were NOT ready.

She bombed the audition.  She started crying afterwards because, she said, didn't want to disappoint me.  Well.  I can totally see why that would be a concern, after I had announced to the other 6 kids that soon Araceli would be my favorite child, by virtue of her membership in my favorite orchestra.  I though the audition probably hadn't gone as badly as Araceli feared, but after she told me about it, yeah.  It was bad.  She bombed.

Whatever, though!  I'm certainly not going to judge my kid on the quality of an audition.  I don't care, but I had acted so excited, that I had to convince sweet little Ari that it didn't matter one bit, and truly it doesn't.

And yet...I was thrilled when I got the email today that she made it!  She was placed in the Utah Youth Symphony Junior Orchestra with Dan Rich.  I am so happy for her.  I was in Dan's chamber orchestra at the U when I was in high school, and I love him.  Scott and I will have to fight it out for who gets to drive her to Saturday morning rehearsals.  I changed my ballet teaching schedule especially so I could be available to drive her, in case she made it.  It's the 9:00 orchestra, not the 7:00, but I think it will still be early enough to feel like we're making the most of Saturday.  We'll have to find something that rhymes with Sat for a treat.  Fat Sat?  Maybe a pastry? 

Final Sympnonies

 Last Monday was Araceli's final concert with Youth String Ensemble.  Scott has been taking her to rehearsal every Monday, where she learned good music and made good friends.  We're sad to see it end, but as we get closer to the end of the school year, it's a relief to wrap some things up.  I took her to the pre-concert dinner the parents provide, then Ptolemy and Tizzy and I met Scott at Red Robin.  Ptolemy seriously loved Red Robin.  Hog heaven!

 Kiyan has been such a good friend to Araceli all year.  I'm sure they'll stay in touch and maybe be in Utah Youth together next year.  Araceli's group played the 1812 Overture, Copeland Shaker Melody, Pachabel Cannon, and some new music by Utah composers.   They did well.

Tuesday night was Golda's last performance with Davis Youth Symphony.  They played some concertos, Carmen, some other stuff that I loved.  It was a great concert.  The orchestra is really good. We were so happy to see Grandma and Grandpa in the crowd!  

The Calm Between the Storms (Or Was It The Other Way Around?)

There was this little three-day interlude between Nutcracker Week and Thanksgiving Break where we...

 ...wore princess attire to church (I know but Mom, eh-body will say it's so cute!)...

 ...wrote notes...

...made lists...

...took naps on the way to guitar...

...hosted birthday lunches...

 ...played in and listened to concerts...

...got pastries and saw the windows at the Grand America...

...tried valiantly to get our acts together...

...Didn't.  Instead, hid in our closets and ate all of this.  

The Spring of Hope

Araceli has come into her own these past few months.  She is now a calm, confident, organized, creative young woman who seems to have everything under control.  It hasn't always been an easy road, but Araceli is resilient and positive.  Her soul longs to be happy, even when her brain chemistry is saying no to that.  In spite of any emotional roller coaster Ari has to endure, her baseline is happy.  Joyful, even.  That's been her saving grace.

I feel like this is the Year of Araceli.  Things are happenin' for this kid, and it is thrilling to see the person she is becoming.  She was the world's most strong-willed toddler.  Now that iron will has been tempered into determination and ability.

This was Ari and me on our way to her first lesson with the new cello teacher.  His house is so far away, you guys.  I don't even want to admit how far it is.  Nevertheless, we were both full of anticipation at 5:25 in the morning when we embarked on this new adventure.  When my dad heard about this craziness, he said, "Now what was wrong with Mr. Marsden?" I know!  I told my dad we had to search far and wide to find a teacher that would make it worth it to switch.  It's just that Ari needed a shot in the arm.  She needed motivation to take her to the next level, and she could only get that through change.  The lesson was great.  Elliott has a similar teaching style to Mr. Marsden in some ways, so it was very comfortable.  Yet he also does group classes, recitals and pizza parties!  Yep, the Book 5 and above kids have a master class/recital/pizza party once a month.  Doesn't that sound fun!?  I mean, what parent doesn't want to hang out in Cottonwood Heights for 4 hours once a month? 

Not to mention the weekly lessons.  It's going to be so fun.

And then there were Nutcracker auditions.  More about that later, I'm sure.  Bottom line:  Everyone made it except Ari.  No matter what, it's painful when you're not chosen for something.  In fact, I had a friend of mine message me tonight, asking about something I posted a year ago.  She just needed to read it tonight.  Rejection is part of life, but it sure stings when you're going through it.  When we got the Nutcracker results, I was scrolling through the lists as Ari waited for me to spot her name.  I finally had to say, "Ari, I don't think you made it.  I'm so sorry."  The look on her face...I hate that any child ever has to feel like that.  

That night Ari said, "Mom, I'm just not built for ballet."  I told her the truth:  At some level, almost nobody is built for ballet.  Ballet eventually destroys even - or especially - the bodies that ARE made for it.  It's OK that dance doesn't define Ari. She still has every right to enjoy it.  

After the tears were shed, Ari put together a little note and treat for a couple of her friends who also didn't make it.  It's the best way to feel better, I think.  She also posted this lovely, heartbreaking Instagram picture.  Maybe you can read the caption.  It made me sad that Ari depicted herself blurry, in the background, admiring her sister.  At the same time, it made me proud that Ari could think to set aside her own disappointment to compliment Golda.

 Last spring, Ari auditioned for Jack Ashton's orchestras and got into the 2nd level group.  Their first rehearsal was the day after Nutcracker results.  If I was excited before, I was doubly excited about the timing, hoping orchestra would be a fun experience for Ari.

 It was!  The drive to Highland High was in the pouring rain, as if someone were just dumping buckets of water on our car.  I questioned the sanity of taking 3 hours out of our Mondays to drive but one child all the way to Salt Lake for orchestra.  But it's orchestra.  Nothing can deter me.  I'm like the Post Office.  "Neither snow nor rain nor dark of night..."  Never mind that the post office is operating at a loss.  We're going to orchestra no matter what!  (P.S. the Nutcracker part that Ari would have gotten would have rehearsed at the same time as orchestra.  Still, I would have loved an opportunity to work out that conflict!  But...silver linings.)

I know I'm supposed to be talking about Ari here, the actual member of the orchestra.  She liked it, her stand partner was a very cute boy, blah blah blah.  But ME!  I got to sit in the hallway for 90 minutes with all the Asian moms and dads, listening to the 1812 Overture (!!) and Eine Kleine Nachtmusik and that adorable favorite, the Saint Paul Suite.  I could not have felt more content, sitting on the linoleum floor in the high school hallway, peeking in at those standard black chairs, filled with young musicians.  I felt like I was home.

I almost think Ari felt the same way.  At one point in the Mozart, I thought, "Wow, they're really clipping along.  They sound really good for sightreading.  I hope Ari is keeping up."  I peered over the violin section to find her.  She looked up and mouthed the word, "Help!"  But guess what?  She was keeping up just fine.  Or at least she was doing an excellent job of faking, which we all know is the orchestra player's best tool.

Sometimes I think we're all faking it.  We're all just people doing our best, kinda not knowing if it's good enough, kinda thinking it's not.

But sometimes,

it is.