Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Niall's Surprise



Three
days before the end of the term, Freestone was getting 47% in English. His magical thinking had led him to believe that his homework could get done without him doing it. I freaked out. I told him he couldn't do the ballet summer intensive that he got a full scholarship for if he had to do summer school for English. That got him in gear. He pulled out his calculator and figured out exactly how little he could get by with doing to pass. On the way to ballet, I helped him get started on a short story. It's hard for me to help Freestone on this because he operates slower than I do. His writing is terrible, too. I'm not saying I'm Ernest Hemingway, but I could easily write an eight grade short story without too much thought. I tried not to interfere with Freestone's glacial writing process, and he came up with a great idea. Turns out, he had been mulling over a story idea for in the event that he had to actually do the assignment. That night, after he got home at 10, I sat down at the computer to type this thing. He dictated what he wanted to say, and I typed. The story needed symbolism, and as the take unfolded, we had a eureka moment to use the storm as symbolic for his inner turmoil. For someone who resists all things language, Freestone wrote an awesome story! He had funny lines and deep insights. Granted, it's not going to win a Pulitzer, but it did get him from a low F to...Wait for it...a B in English! I just burst out laughing when I saw that. See what happens when you do your homework?

Freestone Dopp
Period 1
Surprise!

Niall was in his fifth period class, the first class of the day, but all he could think about was what he would do at ballet that night He knew that something exciting was going to happen, but his ballet teacher, Mr. Jeff, wouldn’t tell him. What was it? He couldn’t focus on what his English teacher, Mr. Summers, was teaching. Something about hyper bullies. There were way too many gigantic, gargantuan thoughts whizzing through his mind to think about bullies, hyper or otherwise. He glanced out the window to see if it was still raining. He saw that it had gotten even worse. There were stormy clouds filling the entire horizon, and every once in awhile, there would be a crack of lightning. This was going to be a long day. After what seemed like ages, the bell finally rang. Niall literally jumped out of his seat and ran towards the door. He didn’t make it out the door before he realized that it had only been the five minute warning bell. He walked shamefully and slowly back to his seat, weary of the five minutes that awaited him. When the bell finally rang, the real bell, he left the classroom, this time getting up slowly from his seat and walking in a dignified manner out of the classroom.
Niall was meeting Bella to walk to his next class.  He always spotted her from all the way down the hall. It was her long, blonde hair that made her stand out from the crowd. It glowed, or it seemed to, from the inside. Seeing her made him almost burst into dance. It was hard not to do a series of tour jetes to reach Bella faster, but Niall played it cool. As cool as a gangly, sweaty 8th grade boy can.  If he was awkward, Bella didn’t seem to notice. He had known her since they were little, and Niall was starting to think that there were a lot of things about him that Bella didn’t notice. Sometime when he wasn’t thinking about ballet, and what Mr. Jeff’s surprise could be, he would think about how to get Bella to notice him more. But not now. He was too restless.
“Niall! What’s up?” Bella’s smile was like the Sugarplum Fairy on a good day.
“Hi Bella. I’m just trying to get through this school day before I die of anticipation.”
“What’s going on? Don’t you just have ballet after school, like, all night?”
“Yeah, but Mr. Jeff has a surprise for us and he won’t tell us what it is.”
“That’s cool. You have to text me later and tell me what it is.”
Niall wanted to talk more about what the surprise might be, but the two of them had reached their classroom and the bell was about to ring. They spent the next 90 minutes working on a poster for science. As anxious as Niall was, he found it easy to concentrate on the poster. Science was his easiest subject. That and math. Anything that didn’t involve too much writing. Imagination wasn’t the problem. It was organization. After science, Bella confronted Niall. “You seemed a lot more distracted than normal today, and that’s saying something.”
“It’s the dang surprise. I can’t stop thinking about it,” Niall explained.
Bella thought for a minute. “You need to chill.”
Walking away, Niall knew Bella was right. The surprise was probably not a very big deal, and it was interfering with his whole life. The rest of the school day somehow ended in this century, and Niall walked home. He always walked home now, ever since his mom got too busy to pick him up. She was always forgetting he existed. Or at least forgetting to pick him up from school, now that she was working at her new music store all the time. It was hard to feel bad about the whole thing, because the music store was pretty cool. He actually didn’t mind walking. It was good conditioning for ballet. But today he ran all the way home because of the storm. He felt like the clouds were collapsing in on him.
When Niall got home, he was soaked.  He quickly got ready for ballet. He had a specific black shirt he had to wear to indicate that he was in the Advanced class. That shirt was always having to be washed, along with a whole bunch of tights and socks that he wore over his tights. His mom usually did that, but these days, he was learning how to wash the ballet clothes solo and hang them over the couch to dry, just like his mom used to do before the big music store. He was glad the clothes were dry, unlike his hair. Hearing the front door open, Niall was anxious to see his mom and get on the road.
“Hi Kid! Go get in the car! I just have to grab a snack. You want anything?”
Niall’s mom looked scary, with her big eyeballs and red lipstick, but she was pretty friendly. She socialized with anyone and everyone. People who knew her always liked her, and Niall could see why. The truth was, he liked hanging out with his mom. She loved to laugh, and Niall always had funny things to say, or to show her. It worked.
“Sure, Mom. Grab me a toaster strudel. Thanks,” Niall called as he ran to the car with his dance bag over his shoulder. Rain was pouring down. Niall tried to remember if he got all of his shoes and supplies in the bag. Waiting in the car for his mom, Niall’s mind wandered to the surprise. He thought maybe the surprise could be that he was going to be advanced to the next level. He quickly discarded that notion, remembering that he had only recently been put in the level he was in now. Plus, it was a surprise for the whole class. What could it be? A surprise visitor? A guest teacher? A new studio pianist? The current studio pianist was really good, Niall thought, but he did play the same pieces every time, despite the piles of sheet music near the piano. It would be good to have a new pianist for a change.
Niall wanted to talk to his mom about the surprise so they could analyze all the possibilities, but he was too nervous. He just wanted to get to class. All the way to the studio, Niall and his mom just listened to NPR. There was a story about lightening and a guy who got struck by it three separate times. Niall thought it was a weird coincidence that there was a story about lightning on the radio, since there was so much lightning outside. Stepping out of the car, Niall’s foot splashed into a puddle. There were so many delays. He felt like he would never get to class.

Finally being in class, Niall was more anxious than ever about the surprise. It was so close, yet so far away. There was still an hour of barre to think about the possibilities. Mr. Jeff was acting like it was just a normal day. It troubled Niall that Mr. Jeff wasn’t even slightly concerned about the surprise. His orange hair was perfectly combed, just like always, and gave him a fiery look that convinced Niall and the others not to ask about the surprise. Niall, to distract himself, wondered if the storm was still raging. He thought he could hear thunder, but that could just be the class above them jumping. After the longest hour of his life, Mr. Jeff decided to spill the beans. He clapped his hands to gather the students.
“OK, class. I told you I had a surprise for you, and I bet you’re going to love this. The surprise is that we have been chosen, as a class, to take part in a Disney movie that’s being filmed in the spring.”
Niall felt excited and scared all at once, but he didn’t have time to think about his feelings before all his classmates started throwing questions at Mr. Jeff about the movie. In time, Mr. Jeff revealed that the movie was called The Lantern and that the dancers would be in a party scene for the ending credits. It was almost too much to take in.
After class, the students thanked Mr. Jeff and the pianist (the same one as always), and practically ran straight outside. Niall immediately told his mom the good news as soon as he jumped in the car. It was only after they had been driving for a couple of minutes that Niall realized that the storm had cleared. It was not raining anymore and there were rays of sunshine gleaming through the clouds. He felt more relaxed than he had for the past week, since Mr. Jeff mentioned the surprise. Niall knew that he was going to have a great rest of the year.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Urban Talent

It's hard not to add the word "beautiful" in front of either "Araceli" or "Nana." They are both radiant. This picture was on our way to McCarty for Araceli to apply to model. Long story short, they didn't take her on, and I'm glad. They didn't get back to us when they said they would, and I had concerns about their professionalism.

A few weeks later, Araceli asked me to take her to an interview at Urban Talent. The agent signed her on the spot, and she was bursting at the seams with excitement. She has some training coming up, and some head shots, so she can't take jobs yet, but the first job posted to her was for a church video. I wish she could have done that one. I hope she has some good experiences with this, and gains direction in her life. Araceli has a lot of unbridled passion for life, and we need to find a way to break that passion into something constructive and satisfying. Wish her luck!





A Letter from Sister Dopp Awhile Back

That's so exciting about Araceli! She really is stunning, inside and out! I just keep remembering all the relatives, strangers, and friends that told me "Better watch out for your little sister! She'll steal all your boyfriends!" hahahha so true! She's gorgeous. Modeling will be a fun adventure. Just make sure she's always modest!  Dad sent me some pictures of her holding Escher and it freaked me out a little because she looks like such a little mom! She has such a loving, tender, aware spirit. Escher is lucky to have her as a cousin and example!
Thank you so much for your email. You always know what to say and how to say it. I'm glad that I still have a place in your heart as your little daughter, because that role is something that is really sacred to me. The love you give me as my mom is just something nothing else can replace or compare or describe. It's a special kind of charity Heavenly Father has given women, and I feel like motherhood is the only way to cultivate and feel it. So thank you for taking your calling as my mom so seriously. Even though I'm more grown up, I think growing up is kind of like a cycle. Some of the things I become or want to become are just more reminiscient of who I was as a child. The Golda who cried about Clara but smiled for Kindi, who would always sing on the way to Morgan Elm from our old house, who looked in the ballet mirror and just wanted the teacher to be proud, who was happy for my classmate's kindergarten accomplishments, etc. It was easier to have unconditional love, to not judge, to remember what was important, to have joy in others' success, to love the simple things. I think all kids are like that. That is why Christ commands us to become as little children. We just have to find those intrinsic Christ-like attributes that we are born with as children of God, and decide to cultivate them among change, adversity, and sorrow as we grow.
When I forgot those things and was a selfish, ungrateful, unaware teenager, thank you for loving me anyway. For showing generosity anyway. For cleaning the house anyway. For paying for lessons and driving me anyway.
I feel the same: I can't even thank you enough for being my mom, except maybe in heaven.
Eternal families has always been a big part of my testimony, but now it's something I truly desire. And I understand why families are central to Heavenly Father's plan. They teach us the true nature of God, because we get to experience the most pure form of love possible. I'm sorry words can't explain how I feel or encompass the glorious truths of the gospel that I am coming to understand.
Thank you for being my mom. Thank you for letting me be your daughter forever.

A Letter to Golda March 26, 2017 About Women's Conference

Hi Golda! We went to the women's broadcast last night at the conference center with Grandma and Izzy, and me, Ruby, Xanthe, Abbi Wagstaff and her mom. (Dad and Araceli went to Vegas to see a concert.) Grandma had 7 tickets, and she thought she gave me 5, but she only gave me 4, so we kinda had to smuggle one of us in. We told them out other ticket was inside. Meanwhile, Grandma had seen a group of Latina women outside who needed just one more ticket and given them the extra ticket, thinking we had enough. It all just worked out seamlessly, despite the fact that we were fretting a little bit. It was a good reminder that HF is always working in our lives to smooth things over and facilitate us coming closer to Him.

There were some good messages. My favorite was Elder During. He said he was frustrated at his seven year old son for jumping on the bed and he picked him up and was holding him by the shoulders. He heard a voice saying, "You're holding a great person." Elder Eyring is funny, and he said, "I gently set him down." The crowd laughed. His point was to see people as God sees them, and he related it back to being how the YW should treat each other, and how they should be unified in charity towards one another.

I'm sending some pictures. We all made hearts with our hands just for you. When we came out of the conference center, the light was liquid gold on the temple. 

So, who are you training?!?! We've been watching for video, but haven't seen anything.

Ruby is speaking in church today, and Xanthe is giving a talk in primary. Xanthe said, "I'll just write it tomorrow. It's not a big deal. It's not like I'm speaking in front of the whole world." She's so funny!

Grandpa had all the boys (except Freestone who was at Capitol theater all day for 10 hours for class, then little Mermaid run throughs, with hanging out at City Creek with his ballet friends I'm between) over to his house to make fidget spinners. They're these little things with ball bearings in the center that spin. The kids all got to go in grandpa's workshop. Ptolemy had a ball. 

I let Xanthe buy a ukulele yesterday so I could make my sales goal. Ha ha. She's taking the ukulele class at my store in June. I still have to get that erhu class going! Oh my gosh, that reminds me, I forgot to go to that homecoming last week! This is the first time it's dawned on me. Oh wait, it's today!!! I can go! I'm glad I got up early! 

We love you and miss you. Oh, I met a missionary at Temple square from HK. She said PFL is in her old stake.

Love you! Mom











Sister Yost

I went to Golda's friend's homecoming in Sandy, on Golda's orders. By the way, all of Golda's group letters are at sisterdopp.blogspot.com.

Sister Yost gave a great talk, all about Hong Kong and her mission experiences, and I drank it all in, envisioning Golda in the same circumstances.
I met one of Golda's MTC language teachers. I think her name is Sister Hua.
I wrote to Golda when I got home: Did you get the pictures I sent? Did I tell you how Sister Hua and Sister Yost both RAVED about you! Sister Yost's talk was all about Hong Kong. It was so neat to hear about her experiences. After, she said, "You're Sister Dopp's mom!" She said that she'd never seen a missionary so gung ho as you. She didn't say gung ho, but she said you hit the mission field just talking to EVERYONE, "in her broken Cantonese," she said. That hit me in the heart, to think of our little Golda, being so brave, so intrepid, just putting it all out there, throwing your whole soul into the work. My word for you this week is UNDAUNTED, because that's what you are. You have so much determination. Sister Yost talked about being rejected time after time, day after day, and it hurts my heart a little to know that's what you're experiencing, but I know you're UNDAUNTED and you won't let it break you, or even slow you down.

I don't know how Dad and I got such perfect spirits for kids. You're all so pure and spiritual. Maybe Dad and I just needed you guys. :) Ruby gave a fabulous talk today. She has so much insight. She talked about temples and said that she has chosen this gospel. And she has chosen it, deliberately, knowing all the other options that are out there. 

Sister Hua saw me and said, "I know whose mom you are! You look just like her! But I don't know her name in English!" Ha ha. She was sweet. She said you were a hard worker and had such an open heart. It's so fun to hear all these good things about you!

A Letter to Golda March 12

Good morning, Sister Dopp!
 I bought the music store on Friday.  I handed Lauri Barfus, the old owner, a check, and she imported all their customer info, product info and supplier info into my new system. I'm legit! :)  Saturday was the first day that the money from sales went into my account, and it was pretty exciting. I made $1100!  About $700 of it was the sale of one violin, but still, it was fun to see those big numbers on the sales report.  It was a good start! Evyn and Eia are great employees.
Ruby bore her testimony in church today, and it was sweet and beautiful, just like Ruby.  She is such a pure spirit. She said that she misses you, and I do too.  Sometimes missions can seem so long.  It's better not to think about it, because the time will pass. It's what we fill the time with that counts.  Dad's mission seemed so eternally long, and it ended, and it's far, far in the rear view mirror now.  Coco used to always tell me not to wish my time away.  It's hard not to sometimes, but I make sure I'm taking the time to really notice how things are in that moment.  I notice Ptolemy's freckles or Tziporah's lisp, or Xanthe's smile. Today in church I looked down the row at Freestone, Ruby and Araceli and admired how beautiful they are, and how fleeting this time in their development is.  I happened to see Freestone and Daniel Hall wrestling each other to the ground in the hall between classes. I loved it, even if it wasn't church behavior. They're like little bear cubs.  They're so adolescent. It's adorable. I don't want to miss any of these moments.
You're good at appreciating the beauty around you, which is good because if you were living in Hong Kong and not being blown away by its sheer gorgeousness, I would be disappointed. I love hearing your descriptions, and I love imagining you looking around and really seeing the beauty that Heavenly Father has provided for us.  I keep saying this, but this time in your life is so sacred, you'll carry it with you for the rest of your life. More importantly, the work you're doing will impact the eternities for people.  You will literally change the eternities for people you love.

A Letter to Golda March 19, 2017

My beautiful Sister Dopp!
How was your week? I just got home from Evyn's homecoming. He gave a really good talk on missionary work. He looked good. He sounded wise. He has grown a lot as a person.
So anyway...I'm reading a good book about women in my stage of life, whose kids are leaving the nest. I guess I solved the "What to do next" question by buying a massive business and figuring out how to run it. I kinda forgot I still have six kids to raise! I'm trying to do a good job as a mom, so hopefully, I'm not totally failing. I had some deep thoughts from the book that I was going to send you last night, but I was too tired. Now I can't remember them! I think it was about embracing the stillness and taking time to just be who you perfectly are in that moment, instead of always looking for the next solution. As a society, we're really solution-driven and prone to solve problems, move on and put things all in a neat little package then say, "OK, Next!" But Heavenly Father doesn't work like that, and sometimes we have to...my favorite Vacation Bible School saying..."Let go and let God." Let HF work on a solution while you just live in the moment, knowing you don't have to solve anything. I bet you have learned very well how to rely on the Lord and trust His timing. It's Pretty remarkable how little control we really have, and how little control we really need, when God is guiding our lives.
Today in Sunday School, our lesson talked about the atonement, and we discussed all the ways we can let the atonement work in our lives. Part of the hard part for us humans is the "let" part, as in letting God in to work in our hearts, rather than controlling the whole operation. Tough! The atonement is so simple yet so all-encompassing, it takes a lifetime to really absorb the magnitude of it. I still don't get it. :)
The store is going really well. I love it! Freestone is here. He is such a great person!  He is so nice to everyone, and so fun. In Relief Society, we talked about prayer. It works. You know that. All of us here at home are praying for you, and I know that those prayers dispatch heavenly messengers to protect you and buoy you up, to help you and guide you. Have a good week! Love you!
Mom

Ballet, Orchestra, Ballet

Once in awhile, Freestone does something other than dance. Last Tuesday he had a festival with his junior high orchestra. I got him out of his ballet class at Clytie's ten minutes early to get there on time, and pleaded with Mrs. Tuke, the orchestra teacher, to let him go a little early so he could get to Little Mermaid rehearsals. He changed in the car and shoved a snack into his dance bag. Why does all the sustenance I provide for my kids come on brown bags?

Our carefully choreographed plan was off by one minute. He didn't quite make it outside before his Ballet West carpool had to leave him, so I had to leave a violin lesson ten minutes early (sorry, Greta!) to rush him to rehearsal and zoom back to Kaysville for Ruby's variation night. Fortunately, Capitol Theater is just a straight shot on the freeway, not to many traffic lights. Freestone hates rushing, and the maniac I become when we are. I've learned to stay much more calm, thanks to Freestone. He'll say, "Mom, chiiiiiiill." It's a reversal of our dynamic when he was a baby. With Freestone, I found that I could calm his fussing by holding him against my chest, taking a deep breath, exhaling and relaxing my body. He would take the cue and settle right down. He's got zen in his soul. It's a beautiful thing, unless you're in a hurry.

I think if you could look into Freestone's heart, you would see a calm ocean of loving-kindness. He really is the nicest kid. He offhandedly tells me about nice things he's done, and I look at him in amazement. What 13 year old kid is so thoughtful? His reaction is, "Duh." Of course he treats people with the utmost care. I'll have to remember to act like that next time we're in a hurry. :)



Sunday, March 26, 2017

Variation Night

Ruby's Variations night was wonderful. All the girls did all four variations that Christie worked on with them.
I love Clytie. It's my last year teaching for her, and I can't begin to think about how sad I am about that.

Ruby is such a beautiful, strong, intuitive dancer. How can I even watch without getting teary? I still see clearly when she dances the little girl that Ruby was. She loves the same way, has the same mannerisms. She is an incredible spirit who came to us fully formed and developed. She is an old soul.
These girls have spent thousands of hours together, probably, over the past 14 years.







Christie is an excellent teacher. My girls have been lucky to have her demanding presence in their lives.