A Letter from Sister Dopp Awhile Back

That's so exciting about Araceli! She really is stunning, inside and out! I just keep remembering all the relatives, strangers, and friends that told me "Better watch out for your little sister! She'll steal all your boyfriends!" hahahha so true! She's gorgeous. Modeling will be a fun adventure. Just make sure she's always modest!  Dad sent me some pictures of her holding Escher and it freaked me out a little because she looks like such a little mom! She has such a loving, tender, aware spirit. Escher is lucky to have her as a cousin and example!

Thank you so much for your email. You always know what to say and how to say it. I'm glad that I still have a place in your heart as your little daughter, because that role is something that is really sacred to me. The love you give me as my mom is just something nothing else can replace or compare or describe. It's a special kind of charity Heavenly Father has given women, and I feel like motherhood is the only way to cultivate and feel it. So thank you for taking your calling as my mom so seriously. Even though I'm more grown up, I think growing up is kind of like a cycle. Some of the things I become or want to become are just more reminiscient of who I was as a child. The Golda who cried about Clara but smiled for Kindi, who would always sing on the way to Morgan Elm from our old house, who looked in the ballet mirror and just wanted the teacher to be proud, who was happy for my classmate's kindergarten accomplishments, etc. It was easier to have unconditional love, to not judge, to remember what was important, to have joy in others' success, to love the simple things. I think all kids are like that. That is why Christ commands us to become as little children. We just have to find those intrinsic Christ-like attributes that we are born with as children of God, and decide to cultivate them among change, adversity, and sorrow as we grow.

When I forgot those things and was a selfish, ungrateful, unaware teenager, thank you for loving me anyway. For showing generosity anyway. For cleaning the house anyway. For paying for lessons and driving me anyway.

I feel the same: I can't even thank you enough for being my mom, except maybe in heaven.

Eternal families has always been a big part of my testimony, but now it's something I truly desire. And I understand why families are central to Heavenly Father's plan. They teach us the true nature of God, because we get to experience the most pure form of love possible. I'm sorry words can't explain how I feel or encompass the glorious truths of the gospel that I am coming to understand.

Thank you for being my mom. Thank you for letting me be your daughter forever.

A Letter to Golda March 26, 2017 About Women's Conference

Hi Golda! We went to the women's broadcast last night at the conference center with Grandma and Izzy, and me, Ruby, Xanthe, Abbi Wagstaff and her mom. (Dad and Araceli went to Vegas to see a concert.) Grandma had 7 tickets, and she thought she gave me 5, but she only gave me 4, so we kinda had to smuggle one of us in. We told them out other ticket was inside. Meanwhile, Grandma had seen a group of Latina women outside who needed just one more ticket and given them the extra ticket, thinking we had enough. It all just worked out seamlessly, despite the fact that we were fretting a little bit. It was a good reminder that HF is always working in our lives to smooth things over and facilitate us coming closer to Him.

There were some good messages. My favorite was Elder During. He said he was frustrated at his seven year old son for jumping on the bed and he picked him up and was holding him by the shoulders. He heard a voice saying, "You're holding a great person." Elder Eyring is funny, and he said, "I gently set him down." The crowd laughed. His point was to see people as God sees them, and he related it back to being how the YW should treat each other, and how they should be unified in charity towards one another.

I'm sending some pictures. We all made hearts with our hands just for you. When we came out of the conference center, the light was liquid gold on the temple. 

So, who are you training?!?! We've been watching for video, but haven't seen anything.

Ruby is speaking in church today, and Xanthe is giving a talk in primary. Xanthe said, "I'll just write it tomorrow. It's not a big deal. It's not like I'm speaking in front of the whole world." She's so funny!

Grandpa had all the boys (except Freestone who was at Capitol theater all day for 10 hours for class, then little Mermaid run throughs, with hanging out at City Creek with his ballet friends I'm between) over to his house to make fidget spinners. They're these little things with ball bearings in the center that spin. The kids all got to go in grandpa's workshop. Ptolemy had a ball. 

I let Xanthe buy a ukulele yesterday so I could make my sales goal. Ha ha. She's taking the ukulele class at my store in June. I still have to get that erhu class going! Oh my gosh, that reminds me, I forgot to go to that homecoming last week! This is the first time it's dawned on me. Oh wait, it's today!!! I can go! I'm glad I got up early! 

We love you and miss you. Oh, I met a missionary at Temple square from HK. She said PFL is in her old stake.

Love you! Mom

Sister Yost

I went to Golda's friend's homecoming in Sandy, on Golda's orders. By the way, all of Golda's group letters are at sisterdopp.blogspot.com.

Sister Yost gave a great talk, all about Hong Kong and her mission experiences, and I drank it all in, envisioning Golda in the same circumstances.

I met one of Golda's MTC language teachers. I think her name is Sister Hua.

I wrote to Golda when I got home: Did you get the pictures I sent? Did I tell you how Sister Hua and Sister Yost both RAVED about you! Sister Yost's talk was all about Hong Kong. It was so neat to hear about her experiences. After, she said, "You're Sister Dopp's mom!" She said that she'd never seen a missionary so gung ho as you. She didn't say gung ho, but she said you hit the mission field just talking to EVERYONE, "in her broken Cantonese," she said. That hit me in the heart, to think of our little Golda, being so brave, so intrepid, just putting it all out there, throwing your whole soul into the work. My word for you this week is UNDAUNTED, because that's what you are. You have so much determination. Sister Yost talked about being rejected time after time, day after day, and it hurts my heart a little to know that's what you're experiencing, but I know you're UNDAUNTED and you won't let it break you, or even slow you down.

I don't know how Dad and I got such perfect spirits for kids. You're all so pure and spiritual. Maybe Dad and I just needed you guys. :) Ruby gave a fabulous talk today. She has so much insight. She talked about temples and said that she has chosen this gospel. And she has chosen it, deliberately, knowing all the other options that are out there. 

Sister Hua saw me and said, "I know whose mom you are! You look just like her! But I don't know her name in English!" Ha ha. She was sweet. She said you were a hard worker and had such an open heart. It's so fun to hear all these good things about you!

A Letter to Golda March 12

Good morning, Sister Dopp!

 I bought the music store on Friday.  I handed Lauri Barfus, the old owner, a check, and she imported all their customer info, product info and supplier info into my new system. I'm legit! :)  Saturday was the first day that the money from sales went into my account, and it was pretty exciting. I made $1100!  About $700 of it was the sale of one violin, but still, it was fun to see those big numbers on the sales report.  It was a good start! Evyn and Eia are great employees.

Ruby bore her testimony in church today, and it was sweet and beautiful, just like Ruby.  She is such a pure spirit. She said that she misses you, and I do too.  Sometimes missions can seem so long.  It's better not to think about it, because the time will pass. It's what we fill the time with that counts.  Dad's mission seemed so eternally long, and it ended, and it's far, far in the rear view mirror now.  Coco used to always tell me not to wish my time away.  It's hard not to sometimes, but I make sure I'm taking the time to really notice how things are in that moment.  I notice Ptolemy's freckles or Tziporah's lisp, or Xanthe's smile. Today in church I looked down the row at Freestone, Ruby and Araceli and admired how beautiful they are, and how fleeting this time in their development is.  I happened to see Freestone and Daniel Hall wrestling each other to the ground in the hall between classes. I loved it, even if it wasn't church behavior. They're like little bear cubs.  They're so adolescent. It's adorable. I don't want to miss any of these moments.

You're good at appreciating the beauty around you, which is good because if you were living in Hong Kong and not being blown away by its sheer gorgeousness, I would be disappointed. I love hearing your descriptions, and I love imagining you looking around and really seeing the beauty that Heavenly Father has provided for us.  I keep saying this, but this time in your life is so sacred, you'll carry it with you for the rest of your life. More importantly, the work you're doing will impact the eternities for people.  You will literally change the eternities for people you love.

A Letter to Golda March 19, 2017

My beautiful Sister Dopp!

How was your week? I just got home from Evyn's homecoming. He gave a really good talk on missionary work. He looked good. He sounded wise. He has grown a lot as a person.

So anyway...I'm reading a good book about women in my stage of life, whose kids are leaving the nest. I guess I solved the "What to do next" question by buying a massive business and figuring out how to run it. I kinda forgot I still have six kids to raise! I'm trying to do a good job as a mom, so hopefully, I'm not totally failing. I had some deep thoughts from the book that I was going to send you last night, but I was too tired. Now I can't remember them! I think it was about embracing the stillness and taking time to just be who you perfectly are in that moment, instead of always looking for the next solution. As a society, we're really solution-driven and prone to solve problems, move on and put things all in a neat little package then say, "OK, Next!" But Heavenly Father doesn't work like that, and sometimes we have to...my favorite Vacation Bible School saying..."Let go and let God." Let HF work on a solution while you just live in the moment, knowing you don't have to solve anything. I bet you have learned very well how to rely on the Lord and trust His timing. It's Pretty remarkable how little control we really have, and how little control we really need, when God is guiding our lives.

Today in Sunday School, our lesson talked about the atonement, and we discussed all the ways we can let the atonement work in our lives. Part of the hard part for us humans is the "let" part, as in letting God in to work in our hearts, rather than controlling the whole operation. Tough! The atonement is so simple yet so all-encompassing, it takes a lifetime to really absorb the magnitude of it. I still don't get it. :)

The store is going really well. I love it! Freestone is here. He is such a great person!  He is so nice to everyone, and so fun. In Relief Society, we talked about prayer. It works. You know that. All of us here at home are praying for you, and I know that those prayers dispatch heavenly messengers to protect you and buoy you up, to help you and guide you. Have a good week! Love you!

Mom

Shenzhen Girls

We picked up the girls on a cold Monday night.  Frank was with me and was all keyed up and excited.  It was nice having him there to translate.  The girls were quite shy, and only Anqi had really good English.  Yoyo and Kiko's English was limited.  We never, in the ten days, pinned down exact names.  They had chosen English names, but I wanted to use their Chinese names.  Except every time we tried to pronounce them, the girls erupted in fits of giggles.  So Anqi was Lisa, Yoyo was Yoyo and Ye was Kiko.  Why did Ye choose a Japanese name for her American name?  I don't know, but it's a cute name for a cute girl.

Kiko had a little cold.  Lisa, my friend in charge, told us that the Chinese remedy is hot water and lots of rest.  Valid cures, but I so wanted to pump her full of antibiotics.  She had a smell that I remember from when we got Xanthe.  Xanthe was riddled with infection in her ears, nose and lungs, and we started her on antibiotics right away.  By the time we went home, she was better.  At any rate, we tried to keep the girls warm and let them rest.  They were tired!  Nonetheless, we squeezed in some fun activities during the ten days.  When we weren't doing fun things, the girls were easy.  They liked to look at their phones and chatter away with one another.  Yoyo would bring me her phone with its translation app, hold it up so I could see the text, and read it to me:  "Mom, can I help you with anything?"

It melted my heart how they called me Mom.  Being from a tonal mother tongue, they had the inflection just right.  Several times, I turned around expecting to see one of my own kids, and was surprised by Yoyo.  They also picked up other words from us.  One day, I said to Xanthe, "Thank you!"  The inflection of my voice went down, then up at the end.  A moment later, and throughout their stay, I heard the girls saying, "Thank you!"  In exactly the same way I had said it.  Hilarious!

We made potstickers a couple of times.  The girls gobbled them up, but Frank didn't like them as much.  He said they needed shrimp, but there is just no way I'm putting shrimp in my dumplings.  That is just too authentic.  Ew. Pork, loads of ginger, and green onions is all I add, fried/steamed in sesame oil and served with soy sauce.

I had lots of good helpers.

For some reason, the Asian market only had green wrappers that day.

On Saturday, the girls went to Park City with their group, so we had all day Sunday.  Frank and I had planned to take them to Arches and Canyonlands on one of our marathon road trips, but the girls were simply too tired.  I didn't want to push them, so we woke them up at 8, which was hard enough, and took them to Music and the Spoken word and Temple Square.

Of course, I thought of Golda in China, teaching about Jesus Christ.  When I put this on Instagram, I said, "Doesn't matter what you call Him, or if you know Him at all.  God loves YOU and nothing at all can ever change that." 

Nana probably thought she had three new great-grandchildren.

Primary: a cultural experience.

Kings came over and brought another cultural experience: pizza.  Big hit!  Yoyo took pictures of all the food.

On other nights, we had noodles.

We saw Grandma and Grandpa at Nikki's and planned a weeknight dinner when they could meet the girls, on their last night.  Dumplings again, and Panda chow mein.  Delicious!

I loved having the Mandarin banter in my back seat.  When I lived and went to school at the Violin Making School, many of my classmates/roommates were Chinese.  Mandarin sounds incredibly familiar to me, even if I only understand three words, one of which is a swear word sorely overused at the VMS. :)

Good-bye party at Classic Fun Center.  It was fun that my kids got to go, as we never do things in places that have this type of Vegas-on-acid carpet, or where you have to rent things to put on your feet.  Ha ha

Ruby left for Chicago on their last day, so I took a pic.  That night, the girls were looking for Ruby and saying, "We love Ruby!  We love Ruby!"

The last supper with the girls.  Marlene brought a pan of chocolate chip cookies.  My favorite!

More smiles

More helpers

Rare pics of me in my natural habitat.

A toast!

Station Park for shopping.  I turned the girls loose to shop and sat by the hot fire, then took them to see Santa.

They bought those awful jelly beans that have the bad flavors.  They gave me "dead fish."  Thanks, girls!

Xanthe, bless her heart, really made an effort to connect with the girls.  Despite the language barrier, they did pretty well.  It's overwhelming emotionally to see Xanthe with three girls her own age, from Mainland.  This could have been her life!  Although she probably came from a place and a family who didn't have the money to keep their child, let alone send their child to the states.  Anqi has a little sister, which means her family had the means to pay to have a second child, back before the one-child policy was eased.  I wonder what Xanthe thinks when she interacts with these girls.  The emotions are far too complex for a literal-minded kid like Xanthe.  Here's an example:  I said, "Are you going to be sad seeing them off tomorrow?"  Xanthe replied, "I won't see them off.  It will be too dark.  And I'll probably be asleep."  Her whole focus was on the exact words, "See them off."  I had to rephrase and say, "Will you be sad when they leave?"  She didn't know.  If she thinks about an open-ended question like that for too long, she forgets what the question was and starts laughing.  She's an interesting kid.  At some moments during the Shenzhen girls' stay, I felt this overwhelming gratitude that we had gotten Xanthe to safety.  Given her probable economic background, and the learning disabilities that she has, really, what would her future have been in China, especially if she was a second daughter?  We'll never know, and we can only speculate.  With a billion people in the country, it's impossible to make generalizations, anyway.

It's just fascinating to look at Xanthe and know that she was destined for our family.  Seeing her alongside the Chinese girls, I wondered, "What role does/should her ethnicity and her origin play in her life, and our family's life?"  A question for a lifetime of pondering.

The girls left at 6 am on a Thursday.  Did I tell you that they were form Shenzhen?  Lisa had told us they'd be from Shanghai, but they turned out to be from a city that's 17 kilometers from Golda, in her Hong Kong missionary apartment.  In fact, the girls flew into Hong Kong on their way home.  I imagined them taking a piece of our hearts with them and depositing it over HK as they flew, to be felt by our missionary.  The Shenzhen connection was a heavenly hug that whispered, "I know you.  I know Golda.  She is safe."  At least that's how I interpreted it.

I was sad to see the girls go.  Maybe we'll host again.  Until then, well, we still have Frank. ;)