Xanthe's Trip to College

Xanthe is almost 13, and it's time for her to gain some confidence through independence. Her thought process is so different than mine, and so slow and methodical, that it's easy to believe that she's not capable of things. For example, I told her that I would be home at 4:15 the other day. She immediately blurted out, "But what about ballet?! Wait. Am I going to ballet? Who's taking me!?" OK, you little basket case, settle down.  I walked her through how 4:15 is a half hour before she leaves for ballet, and how I never take her to ballet anyway, and how me getting home at 4:15 would in no way affect the fact that the neighbor picks her up at 4:45, and how I'm usually not home at all at that time on Thursdays, so everything is fine.

This happens every time I interact with Xanthe. It's frustrating, and my patience ran dry in about 2007.  And yet, then there are times when Xanthe is perfectly capable of anything and everything, which only serves to exacerbate my impatience when she wants to discuss ad naseum what exactly will happen when she gets her 7th grade shots. For hell's sake, you'll go to the doctor, you'll get a shot, it will take literally one second, you'll go home. We have visualized it and walked through it probably a thousand times in the years since she got her kindergarten shots, with wildly varying degrees of patience on my end.

So it's time for this kid to grow up! Golda suggested someone coming to Orem for a sleepover and said that Xanthe could easily navigate the train. Ruby and I drove her to Front Runner after ballet, and she embarked with nary a hesitation. Yes, she wanted to review what exactly the train would be like, who would be on it, where she would sit, how she would know when to get off, but she was pretty excited to go. She sent the cutest text updates as she traveled along. "I'm at South Jordan." "I have one more stop!" "Which side will I get off?"  I think she enjoyed it. When I'm not there to alleviate her fears, her fears seem to vanish. Interesting, huh? Same with homework. If I start helping her, she reverts into an infant-like stage and can't function at all. Can't add 2 plus 2. Can't tell the difference between a dime and a quarter. Can't tell me what happened in the story. Can't read. Can't spell.  Honestly, I have NEVER ONCE successfully helped her learn a concept. Ruby has had more success because of her extreme patience, but I have no idea how Xanthe learned how to read or tell time. When Ptolemy came along, I was in awe that he could actually pick up concepts like what sound a letter makes, or which number was higher. I think I had PTSD from trying to navigate Xanthe through kindergarten and first grade. It's a good thing she was so incredibly darling, because man did she try my patience!

Nevertheless, Xanthe has grown and thrived and learned everything she needs to know. In fact, she is a model student. She is very conscientious and every teacher, without fail, LOVES her. As long as I'm not there, she does marvelously! I can't explain it, but there are probably too many residual layers of anxiety from EPISODES LIKE THIS (this on is so funny; you have to read it) for me to be of any use to Xanthe. She is so funny! She is an extreme overachiever. Ruby subbed her ballet class a few weeks ago, and told me this funny story. Xanthe puts in 100% effort, so she was working harder than everyone else put together. Ruby was saying to the class, "Point! Point more! Go Higher!" She saw Xanthe visibly crank it up a notch and she rushed to her saying, "Not you! You're doing great!" In her mind, Ruby was thinking, "Xanthe, you're going to hurt yourself! Stop trying so hard!" Funny girl. She is a remarkable dancer, by the way.

True to her surprising nature, she thrived on her solo train ride and her day with Golda. She went to Golda's classes and loved all the attention. I'm so happy she has teachers, mentors and role models in her life so I can sit back and watch her succeed in her own sweet way, in her own sweet time. I'm proud of our little Spicy Girl!