Cincinnati Tourist

The dorm mom who was here for the first three-week session told me that there's not much to do around here, and that she spent her time watching Netflix and occasionally ventured out to the grocery store. Oh, honey! This city is hemorrhaging things to do! They pour from every seam. Every block, every neighborhood is riddled with incredible architecture. You try out one hip restaurant and another one pops up on your radar. The longer I'm here, the more the city opens up to me.

Over-the-Rhine is the revitalized area close to downtown where all the fun eateries are. In the heart of it is the famous Music Hall. Did I get emotional when I walked in there? Of course.

Scott and I were messaging old pictures back and forth one night.

My hair is so fluffy here! I never have a bad hair day! This was during my nightly Firefly viewing session, from 9-9:30 in front of the dorm. Fireflies are magical.

One of the dancers wanted to go to mass Sunday night, but the others had gone that morning. They're not allowed to go anywhere alone, so I went with her. Xavier, where we're staying, is a Catholic university. The church is adjacent to our dorm. The service was incredibly inspiring. First of all, it was ONE hour long. The meeting opened with a WOMAN getting up to make an announcement that the "I stand with immigrants and refugees" t-shirts would be available after church. These are my people! People of action and compassion. Then the pastor asked us all to turn to the people around us and say hello, or "Peace be until you." I loved that because immediately, nobody was there alone. We were all there together.

There was a lot of singing. There was a mission group with a violin, a flute, a couple of guitars, some percussion, etc. The music was happy and borderline raucous. People were smiling big smiles. The sermon was brief, delivered with zeal and received with enthusiasm. For the sacrament, we all filled up to the front, row by row, singing along with the instrumentalists as we went! The sight of all of us filing up with our infirmities, some visible, some not, to receive the sacrament, everyone with a look of peace as they sang, it gave me a sense of unity with humanity, all of us on equal footing and doing just fine.

I left this the first day for the dancers.

Lunch with my college roommate Stacie Modesitt Schmidt and her daughter Mara at Taft's Alehouse. So fun!

Running errands for dancers. I got to know the owner of Cincinnati Dancewear, Mary Beth.

Sam's Club runs!

Got a little carried away decorating for movie night. You can't leave me alone with scissors and tape and an assignment to set up movie night.

I watched a class at the ballet center. Freestone looked great!

A couple of the weekends, the cafeteria didn't work for our schedule, so I set up lunch for the dancers.

Graeter's ice cream is famous here. It was National Ice Cream day one day and we went for $1.47 cones.

I explored the waterfront and went to the Underground Railroad museum.

Over-the-Rhine

It was burger week here. This was Ladder 19.

I hit the zoo on $1.00 day. I got there early. It's a great zoo. The baby hippo's, Fiona, is a major celebrity here.

9 am and I can get so many different beers at the zoo. Ha ha! This is not Utah!

free vet

This was found in drafts from March 2015 and I love it:

Free is going to be" a veterinarian that doesn't do surgery on pets."
You're going to be a dog groomer?
Ya!!

Ptolemy's Ninth

Happy birthday, dear little boy! Ptolemy has brought so much happiness and joy to our lives. It's miraculous that he's here, and we haven't stopped marveling for a second, even nine years later. Before Ptolemy and Tziporah we're born, I felt their presence intensely, all the time. And even though I felt like they were almost tangible, I missed them! I wanted them here in the flesh.

Scott was the real hero in the story, since he had to undergo a vasectomy reversal to get these people here. I mean, who does that? Wouldn't most people just say that ship has sailed, it's too late? Not Scott. I told him I felt like there were two more kids "out there," he was onboard. Granted, we we're both onboard the aforementioned  ship that had already sailed, so the wait for Ptolemy was long and eventful with lots of dips and swells. When he finally showed up, ALONE, without a twin, I looked at the ultrasound and thought, "Shoot. Now we're going to have to go through all of this again in two years." I don't know why that was the thought that leapt into my head when I saw fetal Ptolemy swimming around by himself, hogging up the whole womb. I guess Tziporah was probably hovering around, mad about being left behind.

Thus, we had a good couple of years of doting completely on Tolly Boy, marveling at his extreme cuteness, before Tizzy saw a lucky break and took it, arriving in the nick of time when I was already 40 years old.

But I digress! It's Ptolemy's birthday! He has been excited about this day for months. I am in Cincinnati, so I had to miss out on all the fun, but I'm sure nobody missed me, with all the fun Scott engineered! He is a master party planner. He sent videos of him playing, yes playing, with the kids at the party. He had hundreds of water balloons blown up, he shopped for cake, he sang, he had cousins sleep over. Oh and he took Ptolemy out for lunch at the "restaurant" of his choice, Harmon's grocery store.

Scott and I spent a bunch of time sending pictures of Ptolemy to each other. He has always been so darn cute!

Anticipation!

Preparation!

Recovery! Ha ha

These girls helped a ton.

Nana

 

Today in church, my neighbor Lauren Varney confided how inadequate she feels about taking care of her aged mother every night. She confessed that she has to come home and regroup after every encounter, and vow to do better the next night.

My heart reached out to her, because I understand. Nana Ruby died one year ago, and I'm still unpacking all the emotions I felt during the last years of her life, and especially the last year, and then more especially the last few weeks. There were plenty of times when I despaired, "It's all come to this; Nana led such a beautiful, full life, and it's all come to this." And an equally painful thought, at times when I felt selfish, "This is who I am. I've had forty-five years to become a good person, and I've become nothing but a someone who sits in her car in the assisted living parking lot eating hot McDonald's fries and crying when she knows she should walk inside and visit with Nana."

Looking back, I realize that it was the "it's all come to this" mentality that discouraged me. There were other times when I felt more buoyant, more hopeful, more helpful and more sanctified in my efforts. Those were the times when I knew and accepted that I was enough, and that the meager help I gave my mom in Nana's care was enough, even though my radiant and brave mother was carrying most of the load all by herself, with my Dad's support and encouragement.

There were times of clarity when I saw a moment for what it was, with all the perspective of eternity, and it was enough. Nana's decline was just a season; a poignant, heartbreaking, magnificent, grueling season, and we did it. Like any other season of life, we didn't do it without mistakes, selfishness, despair or fatigue. But we can't deny that we did it with love, understanding, gratitude and compassion.

Although Nana's last years seemed interminable when measured against the short list of things she could do, I knew her time was fleeting. So I would swallow those French fries, dust the salt off my hands, paw away the tears and walk into Nana's room, where I could be both courageous and cared-for, both brave and small, both devastated and inspired.

Strangely, I would leave feeling all these things. I would be full of love and inspiration, yet utterly wrecked inside after helping Nana struggle through, minute by minute, guided by her unassailable light, faith and positivity. And then it was over. Heaven came and dwelled with us for a few brief, yet everlasting days, and then Nana was gone.

 Like I said, I am still unpacking all the feelings from that rich, sacred, heartbreaking time. One thing I'm not analyzing anymore, though, is whether I did a good job. I did. I didn't. I did my best. I'm thankful I was given the chance.

Scott's Western Tour with the Girls

 These pictures are all out of order, but the same day I left with Freestone for Cincinnati, Scott picked up Araceli, Sofia and Irene in Park City and drove them to Vegas via Bryce Canyon, where they stated one night, and Zion where they did a big hike. He planned a fun trip for them and they had a great time. We love showing friends all the treasures there are to experience here.

 Scott was in Vegas and I was in Ohio. So far apart!

 Right after we left, Ayla Scottie was born. I can't believe we missed it. it.Congratulati, Trajan and Micaela! She is a perfect new person, and I can't wait to see, as my mom says, "Who's in there!"

 On our group chat with Sofia's parents and Irene's parents, we we're laughing about how the girls went all the way to Las Vegas to get these Portuguese pastries when they live on the Portuguese border.

 Someone sent this picture of Scott getting a perm in the '70's. What a kid

Scott taking a five minute nap before the drive home. ho was great to take the girls on this trip. I know he enjoyed it and had some nice down time, but he also works really hard to create good experiences for everyone, and we appreciate it!