What are big brothers for if not to embarrass their little bros? Freestone used Ptolemy as a visual aid for his book report today. The book was Super Diaper Baby and Ptolemy was...the super diaper baby. To take a baby wearing nothing but a diaper into a first grade classroom is to guarantee success. Amid peals of laughter, Freestone showed off the 10-pound illustration of one of his favorite books. If Ptolemy was humiliated, he didn't show it. Or couldn't. The little guy doesn't exactly have control of his arms yet. If he did, he might have punched Freestone for holding him up for 20 first graders to laugh at. Then again, maybe he enjoyed the attention. I know Freestone did! He handed out paper to all the kids and demonstrated on the whiteboard how to draw Super Diaper Dog. The book includes step-by-step instructions, and Free did quite a good job of demonstrating.
Unfortunately, this wasn't Ptolemy's diaper debut at the school. Two days ago, several of our favorite teachers saw Tolly in just a Size 5 diaper that came up to his armpits, and nothing else. Why? Because during a meeting I was having with two school counsellors, a sea of mustard-colored goop somehow defied gravity, bypassed Tolly's diaper and slimed the whole front of my shirt. When I noticed, possibly several minutes after the other women in the room noticed, I burst out, "Oh my gosh, LOOK at this!" Just like most traffic accidents happen within 10 miles from home, diaper accidents can happen a block from your house. So why did I optimistically believe I could go to the school without a diaper bag, just because it was so close to home? Rookie mistake. OK, so I'm not a rookie. I don't have an excuse. The counsellor wrangled a giant diaper from the preschool room, along with a stack of wet napkins, while I tried to contain Tolly's arms, which were flailing around, flinging fluids. That's why all the teachers got to see Tolly in his giant diaper, two days before his official appearance as Super Diaper Baby. Talk about an ignominious start to your school career. On the bright side, our baby now has two appearances as Super Diaper Baby under his belt. His next role could be Professor Poopypants, from a book by the same author. We'll have to get him some thick glasses and a pocket protector. He could have a career in acting.
8 comments:
You crack me up. Oh the diaper adventures to come.
Both stories are so funny. I feel so bad that you had poop all over you. Not fun! Great job Free on the book report. You are so creative!
My kids loved this post! Way to go Freestone and Ptolemy! Oh and as your friend I have to tell you, you looked really skinny in that picture.
How the heck are you that skinny? Can't even concentrate on your story because I'm so jealous!
Even if I hadn't seen the school diaper debut, your retelling painted a vivid picture!
Perhaps subconsciously, I bought much of my babies' wardrobe in the mustard palette.
Bransen loved drawing super diaper dog - it was the first thing he showed me after school! And yes, I would love to be added to your list! Oh, and about the size five diaper, I went to a soccer game - without ANYTHING but the baby. Isn't it all supposed to come back to you - like riding a bike? I feel like a rookie!
Really funny stories. Super Diaper Baby will probably be glad he got to make his debut so early in life. Also, isn't it so true that things happen when you are not prepared...your poopy diaper during meeting drama makes me laugh:)
I am half laughing and half crying because I know I will be there with the whole newborn diaper issues in just a few weeks! At least Tol is not afraid to strut his stuff! That looks like my kind of book report! Way to go Free!
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