Sturm and Drang

Nutcracker auditions.  Ugh!  I should say "Hip hip hooray!" but it's never that easy.  I love Nutcracker.  It defines our fall season and brings Christmas early.  But it's been four years since everyone in our family made it and/or wasn't banned by the school from trying out, so it's never unbridled joy.  The magic of Nutcracker, you can be sure, shrouds lots of heartache and disappointment.  Life lessons and all that.  This year, the results showed that Araceli was going to be reliving the same life lesson for the 3rd time in a row, while everyone else in our family made it except Esmae, poor girl.  I was happy and grateful for the ones who got parts, but there was a black spot on my heart that seethed in pain and frustration for Araceli.  She has improved so much this past year, and grown to love ballet more than ever, all for naught.  If only the judges could peer into the hearts of all the children...but then I daresay, they would hardly be able to cut anyone, they're all so innocent and deserving.  Araceli was brave, and took comfort from her friend who also didn't make it.

Then Monday, I got an email that there were 9 parts added, and Araceli was one of them.  I went to the school to tell Araceli the good news.  Her first reaction was to gasp, as she is wont to do, and immediately ask about her friend.  The friend wasn't one of the nine.  Lots of sturm and drang in the junior high hallway as my girl tried to reconcile her excitement with her friend's rejection.  It's a nasty task.

Then again, that's life.  As I sit here content with all my small accomplishments of the day, several neighbors' lives hang by a thread; refugees are turned away from basic human rights; friends receive devastating news.  And yet we are somehow able to celebrate births and marriages and yes, even parts in the Nutcracker.  If the terrible events of life prevented us from celebrating the wonderful stuff, we wouldn't be able to ever lift our heads up.

Somehow, we smother the sorrows and disappointments with a "maybe next time" and a "no big deal," and we go on, smiling, because the good things in life deserve our attention, our enthusiasm, our gratitude. We come from a God who loves us, and so we are made of love and light.  We look for the good and gravitate to the light because it's who we are at our core.  If we didn't seek after the bright side, we would get swallowed up by the darkness.  We wouldn't want that, would we?  Because if there is such a place as Hell, I bet it's made up of failed auditions, and devoid of the glories of opening night.

Xanthe and Esmae

Every year Roy's garden recital is the same day as Nutcracker auditions.
The timing is perfect, and it's always lovely.