Taking a page from my parents' playbook, I've big-eyeball-faced seven kids into total silence and stillness during dozens upon dozens of concerts, recitals, plays, ballets. They know concert etiquette. They're pros! So for them to go out into the world (ok, the high school auditorium) and disrupt a concert to the extent that several people complained about them, that is like Michael Phelps drowning in a kiddie pool after his parents invested their whole lives in his Olympic swimming career.
We were at Araceli's cello recital last night and there was a younger couple; young enough that they were still bothering to video their child playing Up on the Housetop in a group of 60 cellists. They were obviously in the thick of parenting. The wife was beautiful in an effortless way that she wouldn't be in 5 years. She hadn't washed her hair, and so she had it in a fancy pinterest-inspired braid. She juggled the baby and the video camera. The husband had two kids on his lap. Toward the end, the two parents had an earnest, whispered conversation that I recognized as a logistics powwow and the husband left, probably to get yet another kid to a different venue where they hoped the kid was learning skills they could take with them into adulthood.
To those parents, I say "Go home. Get some sleep. You can knock yourselves out, but your little cellist is probably going to end up playing the bongos in a garage band in Rexburg (because his ACT wasn't high enough for the main campus, despite all those prep classes), majoring in library science and working graveyard at Arby's.
In other words, enjoy the process because the ending is rarely what you had in mind. One six-year-old at the cello recital jumped up between pieces, pushed his glasses up his nose and shouted, "My G string sounds off! Fix my G string!!"
Oh, parents of that sweet, funny boy, laugh and enjoy it. That moment may well have been the pinnacle of your son's musical career.
Unless he picks up the bongos in college.
4 comments:
The sad thing is, how many parents would respond in anger and denial to the teacher? It's hard to know exactly which lessons will stick (and when they don't we do feel like failures as parents), but you helped form another good one for your children by how you handled this. I contrast this with a child at last week's spelling bee who got out in an early round. "It's my fault," I heard her mother say to her. "I should have studied with you." Huh? Our children need ownership for their gaffes as well as their triumphs.
Yes, well done. What a great time in life to get a U. It's better to learn the lesson now rather than when they're a Senior and trying to get everything done to graduate. That would be such a headache to work it off in the middle of college applications, scholarships, and all the rest. I think I sometimes have to sit back and gain perspective on situations (like kids and their math struggles). A friend, when describing a choice her son was making said, "It's okay. There is no right or wrong answer here. He needs to do what he wants to do. This is not an eternal decision. This isn't going to impact his future family, his testimony, etc." It was such a good lesson to me. Sometimes in parenting we (I) get wrapped up in the NOW and what it means NOW, instead of the big picture. Anyway... well done. I bet Mrs. Tuke LOVED your response. :)
Aha you guys are great. Jennie is so right on all her comment points. Better learn a hard lesson now than later. Easier said than done though.
Well done Mom! By you not letting it go or blaming someone else, you've given your kids the opportunity to learn a lesson. This parenting gig is not an easy one, but the way you're handling this will be beneficial to your kids now and later. They won't soon forget this concert, and I'm pretty certain you'll be able to take them to more concerts where they'll exhibit great concert listening skills. LOL...until they don't. Kids sometimes just need to learn lessons the hard way. You're doing great and I take many parenting tips from you.
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