Here is a wonderful Mothers Day essay for all of you (CLICK). I agree with it completely, especially the part that includes this:
Don't tell your children you wish they had school today. Just don't. Even if you think it and feel it. Don't say it. Don't say that thing you feel only 5% of the time, because what you say places that value to motherhood 100% of the time. Start the praise of motherhood in your own mind and in your own home. If you can only enjoy it 95% of the time, that's ok. But please don't use the challenging and disheartening and even discouraging 5% as a weapon against the greatness of the call. You can still ask for and accept help without complaint, too. (Granted, the 95/5 percent might be generous. We all have our moments.)
2) When it's good, say it's good. It's ok to say, "I really loved being a mom today because I helped my teenager make a good decision about something that has been affecting her for weeks." Instead of "Wowee, we might not both survive these teenage years!!!"
I don't know why blogger is highlighting this next part, because it's not something I copied and pasted. I wrote it: When I was a happy, carefree kid, I never once heard my mom or my dad say that parenting was hard. I mean, I saw that my mom was sometimes exhausted, her "back in spasms," and she sometimes went to lie down, or cried or got mad. So I got that she was overwhelmed at times, and that what she was doing wasn't easy, and that I could help lighten her load. But she never explicitly told us that it was hard. She never made a point of telling us that being our mom was something negative, something grueling that she was trying to get through. There was never an "I love you even though..." She never put that on us, and I am so incredibly grateful, because I lived in the perpetual comfort of knowing that my mom - and my dad - loved being our parents. I can't think of anything else that could provide as much stability, peace of mind and satisfaction for a kid. So thanks, Mom and Dad.
Mothers complain about not getting enough respect, yet, we also complain about motherhood. We are whiners! Like the essay says, our validation has to come from within, and certainly can't come from proving ourselves better than a different style of parent. Leave out your criticisms of other parents. Leave out your criticisms of yourself. And for heaven's sake, leave out your criticisms of the God-given gift of motherhood, especially in front of your precious gifts.
Don't tell your children you wish they had school today. Just don't. Even if you think it and feel it. Don't say it. Don't say that thing you feel only 5% of the time, because what you say places that value to motherhood 100% of the time. Start the praise of motherhood in your own mind and in your own home. If you can only enjoy it 95% of the time, that's ok. But please don't use the challenging and disheartening and even discouraging 5% as a weapon against the greatness of the call. You can still ask for and accept help without complaint, too. (Granted, the 95/5 percent might be generous. We all have our moments.)
I don't know why blogger is highlighting this next part, because it's not something I copied and pasted. I wrote it: When I was a happy, carefree kid, I never once heard my mom or my dad say that parenting was hard. I mean, I saw that my mom was sometimes exhausted, her "back in spasms," and she sometimes went to lie down, or cried or got mad. So I got that she was overwhelmed at times, and that what she was doing wasn't easy, and that I could help lighten her load. But she never explicitly told us that it was hard. She never made a point of telling us that being our mom was something negative, something grueling that she was trying to get through. There was never an "I love you even though..." She never put that on us, and I am so incredibly grateful, because I lived in the perpetual comfort of knowing that my mom - and my dad - loved being our parents. I can't think of anything else that could provide as much stability, peace of mind and satisfaction for a kid. So thanks, Mom and Dad.
Mothers complain about not getting enough respect, yet, we also complain about motherhood. We are whiners! Like the essay says, our validation has to come from within, and certainly can't come from proving ourselves better than a different style of parent. Leave out your criticisms of other parents. Leave out your criticisms of yourself. And for heaven's sake, leave out your criticisms of the God-given gift of motherhood, especially in front of your precious gifts.
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