Houston, We Have Liftoff!

 The day we moved Golda out of the house was exciting.  I was looking forward to it all week.  Scott wanted to go with, but opted to pay a visit to Golda later that weekend and get her odds and ends all tied up, rather than miss a day of work to go with me.  Golda and I took Araceli along.   She is fun and she's a good helper and stylist for the room.  Golda loaded up all her belongings in G-Rex and we hit the road, all three of us in the front seat and the back piled to the ceiling with stuff.

Once there, the honors program had tons of people waiting to help and facilitate the moving.  One guy helped us unload the car into grocery carts and another guy helped put it all in the apartment.  Easy!  If you want to know the truth, though, the apartment was not the cleanest.  Not dirty, just grungy.  Araceli got right to work and thoroughly cleaned the kitchen while I tackled the bathroom and Golda attempted to organize her room while thinking, "What have I done?  I left a spacious home with a huge, beautiful room and moved into this dump!"  She was shell shocked.  It took a couple of hours before things started looking up.  Golda was optimistic, but it took some effort!

This is Gentry, Golda's roommate who went to Davis.  They knew each other a little before being put together as roommates.  Golda was excited to be with Gentry.

And here we have the pillow Golda picked out, the sheets and lights we bought with Scott back in June, and the most important item, the blanket Michelle Fitzgerald made for Golda.  It's perfect, and we planned the whole room around it.

We arrived at the dorm at 10, and I thought I would for sure be home by 3.  Not even close.  The first two hours were cleaning, then there was a lunch provided in a parking lot for all the honors students to get to know each other.  The food was truly awful, it was hot, and the sprinklers went on while people were sitting on the grass.  Epic fail.  It was kinda depressing, and the honors crowd, you know, they're just a tiny bit nerdy.  Having them all in one parking lot eating raw hot dogs and stale cookies, looking like baby deer in the headlights, it was too much.  After that, Golda had meetings, and Araceli and I went to Walmart to get some food, stuff for the bathroom and look for a comforter.  It's unbelievable, but we moved Golda to college without one single item of food, besides Michelle's cookies.  When we saw the others moving in boxes of foodstuffs, it was like, "Oh ya. Sustenance.  You'll probably need something to eat this semester."

Gentry's parents and I coordinated on the bathroom at Walmart, and it turned out cute.  Yellow and blue.  We met up with Golda at 4, but the dorm room wasn't really complete, and it didn't seem like it was time to leave.  We went to Target and finally found a white comforter, then grabbed dinner at Wendy's.  I don't know how the day went by so quickly, but Golda finally dropped Araceli and me off at the Trax station at 7 and we rode the train home.  She had looked around her dorm room and said, "Wow.  Here I am with a whole new life...with no family...or food.  When IS the next dinner at Grandma's or Coco's?"  I'm not sure Golda wanted us to leave, but she was also looking forward to getting settled in.  The room was charming and adorable, and it turned out just how Golda had envisioned it, and it was time to own it.

Be careful what you ask for, though, right?  An hour later, she texted, "I'm ALL ALONE here!"  Her roommates had gone and it was quiet, something that is a rare experience for a girl who's the oldest of seven!  I told her to enjoy it and get used to focusing on herself, without the responsibility of a family including child care, cooking and chores.  It will be an adjustment, but this time in Golda's life is for her.

As lonely as it was for Golda being all alone, I daresay it was lonelier for Scott and me at home, despite the presence of the other 6 kids.  There is a big hole where Golda's spirit and energy were, and it makes everything seem unnervingly quiet, even when it's not really.  I am thrilled that Golda is living on her own, but I'm not exactly thrilled to have only 6 kids here.  I liked having 7.  All in all, it's wonderful, it's an exciting new chapter in our lives, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Golda is good at navigating her life through prayer and hard work.  Whatever is in store for her, she will discover it and conquer it, I have no doubt, and I'm confident that she will always be where the Lord wants her.

I don't know how to describe my feeling on launching an adult who used to be our kid.  But when she turned 18, I felt liberated.  Like whatever she does from here on out is on her, not on us.  She is an adult and now her decisions reflect on her, not me.  She is her own person!  I'm free!

Little did I know, Golda felt the exact same way about me!  I was doing something, I can't remember what, probably wearing a dumb outfit or something, and Golda said, "Mom, I'm 18 now.  I don't have to worry about what you do!"  I love it!  I laughed and said, "That's exactly how I feel!"  It's liberating to feel like two adults who can be friends and accept each other more easily, having no real responsibility for how the other one acts.  I was just so interested to find out that it goes both ways!

Needs improvement. definitely.  A couple days later, Scott and Golda went down with some big art and stuff for the walls.

Golda's Last Day at Home

 Golda's last day at home, she said goodbye to Nana

 and loaded the car.

 Michelle brough the secret ingredient for making friends: chocolate chip cookies.  And she brought an extra batch for mom and dad, in case they were sad.  Jennie brought donuts, too, so we were set on sugary comfort!

 Golda set up a nice dinner for the family.  It took some wrangling, and missing some back to school nights, but we all got together for one last dinner.  Sadly, we realized how infrequently we all sit down together.  Someone is always missing.

Golda made crowns for everyone.  She;s been gone for almost a week, and we miss her.  Last night, Tizzy got out of bed and was sneaking up Golda's stairs. She said, "I want to tell Golda about my new shoes."  Sad!  Fortunately, she's loving college!

Taking Our Medicine

Catching the last evening light of summer those last few days before school started.  This summer, we had a lot of fun, there was adventure, there were big projects that I'll tell you about later, there was relaxing and sleeping in and Cherry Hill, road trips and lakes.  Yet, I never felt like I found my groove for summer.  There was never a time that I disconnected from daily life and felt like I owned summer.  I have thought about why that is, but I don't have an answer other than that 7 kids just pulls you in too many directions.  All good directions, though. I love all of it, and I would rather keep on with more weeks of summer, no matter what form it takes, than the exhaustion and sweatiness that is the first week of school!

My favorite thing about this summer was just being with the kids.  June is always a whirlwind of activity, with ballet in full swing, the recital, teaching and Jana's play, plus going to the pool and Cherry Hill.  Then Golda and Ruby were gone, and it was just us and the 5 other kids, which did lend an air of relaxation to the household.  I earnestly strove to clear our July calendar.  The kids had play practice with Ellison every morning while I did my chores, etc., then we had the rest of the day to swim or go somewhere behind the mountains.  So our schedule was darn near perfect.  Except the 5 kids were content to do a lot of hanging out, which drives me absolutely crazy, so it was a good time for me to just give in to that and roll with it.  I think I did pretty well.  I tried to spend time on the back porch in the early morning just taking in the beauty.  Then I tried to just do what the kids wanted to do.  If we always did what I wanted to do, we'd all be exhausted all the time, just the way I like it, so it's good for me to follow their lead.  It's their summer, right?

Or should I say, "Was."  It's over and they're back in school.  I am more dedicated and prepared than I was last year, but I still feel the old familiar low, the low-frequency despair at the thought of all the months of the grind we have ahead of us, and all the years of schooling we have ahead of us after this one.  It's like a prison sentence.  Ruby hasn't even started half the stuff she does yet, and already she's up late getting everything done.  I feel like we won't see her until Christmas break!

On the other hand, what is life if you don't have the discipline to work hard at the things that are important to you?  I am a big believer in hard work, and we're getting our first big dose of it around her this week.  Even if you know medicine will make you better, sometimes you don't want to take it!
The thing that keeps me going (besides my year's theme that I'll explain later) is that Golda is launched.  She worked hard and she didn't let up on her goals, and now she is where she wanted to be.  She has a full scholarship, a housing scholarship, and Regents Scholarship on top of that to pay for everything else.  It's all paid off, and Golda has given me a template for the other kids to work towards.  We know what we have to do, and we're thankful for the opportunities that make it possible.  In theory.  Ha ha.  In practice, I would love to still be at the pool.

Meadow Warm Springs

 Some of the kids and I took a little trip to Fillmore to stay with my cousin Samantha.  It was fun to see all the work she's done on her pioneer home since the last time we were there, and to hear new stories she has discovered about our ancestors in the area.  I love spending time with Samantha.  She is always enthusiastic about something and always warm and welcoming.  She and Araceli were going over some family history.  Araceli feels a connection to Samantha, maybe because her house is haunted. :)

 We brought dinner and had a lovely meal with Samantha, then went off to explore the Meadow warm springs while Sam caught up on her work.  I had never been, but I'm sure we'll go back.  It's easy to find if you google directions, and it's well worth the treasure hunt.  There are 3 springs on private land, but fully accessible to anyone, with a (heavily rutted, just warning you) parking lot and walking path connecting the springs.  The light was incredible.  We meant to stay for a short time, but we couldn't tear ourselves away until the last light was gone.

 The water was, indeed, warm.  And there were little fishes everywhere.

 It was deep, like to the center of the earth.

 The light was unreal.  It just drenched us.

 Catching fish

 Araceli looks like a mermaid

The sunset was majestic to the point of putting to rest any question about the existence of God.  It was like an incredibly generous gift, right there for anyone to take in, just like God's love.  I wanted to fall on my knees, it was so life-affirming to be out in that field for that sunset with my precious kids.  I didn't, though.  I just said yes to one last ink-dark swim in the warmest warm spring with four of my favorite people.  I tried to condense all the gratitude I felt into that one moment in time, but it's impossible.  As I watched the moon rise, I thought about Golda and Ruby in Portugal and Scott and Freestone in Wyoming at scout camp, and how all of them could see the same moon, how it had just come from the east, from Portugal.  It seemed to reassure me that everything was right in the world, that all of us were safe on this planet in that moment.