Taking Our Medicine

Catching the last evening light of summer those last few days before school started.  This summer, we had a lot of fun, there was adventure, there were big projects that I'll tell you about later, there was relaxing and sleeping in and Cherry Hill, road trips and lakes.  Yet, I never felt like I found my groove for summer.  There was never a time that I disconnected from daily life and felt like I owned summer.  I have thought about why that is, but I don't have an answer other than that 7 kids just pulls you in too many directions.  All good directions, though. I love all of it, and I would rather keep on with more weeks of summer, no matter what form it takes, than the exhaustion and sweatiness that is the first week of school!

My favorite thing about this summer was just being with the kids.  June is always a whirlwind of activity, with ballet in full swing, the recital, teaching and Jana's play, plus going to the pool and Cherry Hill.  Then Golda and Ruby were gone, and it was just us and the 5 other kids, which did lend an air of relaxation to the household.  I earnestly strove to clear our July calendar.  The kids had play practice with Ellison every morning while I did my chores, etc., then we had the rest of the day to swim or go somewhere behind the mountains.  So our schedule was darn near perfect.  Except the 5 kids were content to do a lot of hanging out, which drives me absolutely crazy, so it was a good time for me to just give in to that and roll with it.  I think I did pretty well.  I tried to spend time on the back porch in the early morning just taking in the beauty.  Then I tried to just do what the kids wanted to do.  If we always did what I wanted to do, we'd all be exhausted all the time, just the way I like it, so it's good for me to follow their lead.  It's their summer, right?

Or should I say, "Was."  It's over and they're back in school.  I am more dedicated and prepared than I was last year, but I still feel the old familiar low, the low-frequency despair at the thought of all the months of the grind we have ahead of us, and all the years of schooling we have ahead of us after this one.  It's like a prison sentence.  Ruby hasn't even started half the stuff she does yet, and already she's up late getting everything done.  I feel like we won't see her until Christmas break!

On the other hand, what is life if you don't have the discipline to work hard at the things that are important to you?  I am a big believer in hard work, and we're getting our first big dose of it around her this week.  Even if you know medicine will make you better, sometimes you don't want to take it!
The thing that keeps me going (besides my year's theme that I'll explain later) is that Golda is launched.  She worked hard and she didn't let up on her goals, and now she is where she wanted to be.  She has a full scholarship, a housing scholarship, and Regents Scholarship on top of that to pay for everything else.  It's all paid off, and Golda has given me a template for the other kids to work towards.  We know what we have to do, and we're thankful for the opportunities that make it possible.  In theory.  Ha ha.  In practice, I would love to still be at the pool.