Do you know what is really starting to irritate me? All these glib blog posts going around about how the parents of the 1970's sat around smoking Pall Malls and playing bridge, oblivious to the existence of their children, while the lucky youngsters fell out of trees, experimented with gunpowder and played in the woods until after dark with pedophiles. When they weren't doing all the work around the house and yard, that is. "AND WE ALL TURNED OUT JUST FINE," is the point of all these insipid comparisons of parenting style.
First of all, not everyone born in the 1970's turned out just fine. On the flip side, you may have noticed that quite a few children from the current generation are turning into successful adults, despite the fact that - gasp! - their parents cheer at their soccer games and help them with their homework!
The 1970's and '80's were a magical time for me, and probably for a lot of other kids who grew up during that time. But do we have to glamorize the noxious parts of it, the Pall Malls and the occasional checked-out parent? Those elements are still prevalent today, and nobody thinks it's great. I fell out of trees as a kid, sure. I had trees that I counted among my closest friends. I know the feel of gunpowder between my fingers (I have no idea why, I just do), and I certainly played in the woods after dark, although all the monsters I encountered there were of my own imagination, thankfully. I was also required to work hard. If Mom or Dad had a lawn mower out, or a vacuum, or heaven forbid, all the contents of the garage out on the driveway, my participation was de riguer. It's funny, though, my parents never sat in the corner smoking cigarettes and laughing at how hard their kids were working, or wondering where they were, as is the current caricature of the 1970's. My parents were working right alongside their kids, just like Scott and I do now, with our sometimes less-than-enthusiastic kids. Maybe some things have changed. Maybe it's because some '70's kids didn't like how they were raised. Scott and I, though, are following the pattern our parents set, and loving it.
So don't sit back and pompously detach yourself from being involved in your kids' lives, imagining you're some sort of retro-cool throwback to a classier era. I can't believe it when I hear people bragging about how they don't help their kids with something or other. Good parents have always loved their kids, fully and in person, by being at their games and recitals, supporting their schooling, providing opportunities for work and growth, and generally finding joy in being with them. Bad parents have always made excuses for their indifference, blamed society for their shortcomings, and looked to the past for examples to support their laziness.
I'm not saying that good parenting can predict good outcomes. Who knows how kids will turn out? All I'm saying is, cut the '70's crap and embrace parenthood. Grow a handlebar mustache and throw on some bell bottoms if you must, but look, your kids are the most important thing. Come to think of it, maybe kids were hiding out in the woods until dark in the '70's because they were too embarrassed to be seen with their parents...or wearing the getups their parents put them in. Who knows? But it's worth writing a glib blog post about.
First of all, not everyone born in the 1970's turned out just fine. On the flip side, you may have noticed that quite a few children from the current generation are turning into successful adults, despite the fact that - gasp! - their parents cheer at their soccer games and help them with their homework!
The 1970's and '80's were a magical time for me, and probably for a lot of other kids who grew up during that time. But do we have to glamorize the noxious parts of it, the Pall Malls and the occasional checked-out parent? Those elements are still prevalent today, and nobody thinks it's great. I fell out of trees as a kid, sure. I had trees that I counted among my closest friends. I know the feel of gunpowder between my fingers (I have no idea why, I just do), and I certainly played in the woods after dark, although all the monsters I encountered there were of my own imagination, thankfully. I was also required to work hard. If Mom or Dad had a lawn mower out, or a vacuum, or heaven forbid, all the contents of the garage out on the driveway, my participation was de riguer. It's funny, though, my parents never sat in the corner smoking cigarettes and laughing at how hard their kids were working, or wondering where they were, as is the current caricature of the 1970's. My parents were working right alongside their kids, just like Scott and I do now, with our sometimes less-than-enthusiastic kids. Maybe some things have changed. Maybe it's because some '70's kids didn't like how they were raised. Scott and I, though, are following the pattern our parents set, and loving it.
So don't sit back and pompously detach yourself from being involved in your kids' lives, imagining you're some sort of retro-cool throwback to a classier era. I can't believe it when I hear people bragging about how they don't help their kids with something or other. Good parents have always loved their kids, fully and in person, by being at their games and recitals, supporting their schooling, providing opportunities for work and growth, and generally finding joy in being with them. Bad parents have always made excuses for their indifference, blamed society for their shortcomings, and looked to the past for examples to support their laziness.
I'm not saying that good parenting can predict good outcomes. Who knows how kids will turn out? All I'm saying is, cut the '70's crap and embrace parenthood. Grow a handlebar mustache and throw on some bell bottoms if you must, but look, your kids are the most important thing. Come to think of it, maybe kids were hiding out in the woods until dark in the '70's because they were too embarrassed to be seen with their parents...or wearing the getups their parents put them in. Who knows? But it's worth writing a glib blog post about.
2 comments:
amen.
Love this!
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