Knight in Stainless Steel Armor

We have recently had some beautiful, warm evenings here.  One one such lovely evening, the Dopps were eating pizza for dinner in the front yard when an elderly traveling salesman reached our home.  I had seem him in the neighborhood, knew he was selling knives, and felt rather sorry for him.  I didn't need any overpriced knives, but I also couldn't let him get away without sharing a couple of slices of pizza with us.

After graciously accepting my offer for pizza, he said, "But first let me tell you why I'm here."  Long story short, I bought three overpriced knives from an 80-year-old man going door to door, parking his beat-up minivan in an inconspicuous spot as he carefully canvassed each neighborhood.  The knives were only ten bucks each, but still...overpriced.  Nevertheless, I was happy to pay.  The deal closed, our new friend started in on his pizza.  He kept saying, "Oh, this is the best pizza I've ever had.  This is so good.  And I haven't eaten for so long!"  He was so grateful, I very nearly bought the rest of his little red knives.  As we ate, he told us about his wife and their children, lavishing praise on his wife, saying how remarkable she is, and what a good mother.  He told how he once visited his daughter in South Carolina and had a box of knives shipped there beforehand so he could "do a little work" while he was on vacation.

I wish I had kept the business card he gave me, in case any of you were on the market for a cute little wedding gift.  I know it's not much, but I put each knife in a cellophane bag with a note that says, "Pointers on a happy marriage:  Stay sharp, avoid cutting remarks, don't be afraid to live on the edge, steel yourselves for challenges and never let your relationship get dull."

Here's another pointer for a happy marriage, men:  When you're eighty years old, and your marriage has maybe reached the half-century mark and the retirement money isn't what you hoped for, that's when it could be your time to really shine.  Your moment of glory could be carrying a box of paring knives, knocking on doors, telling the world that you are in love with a queen, and that you intend to do right by her no matter what.  No matter what.