Parenting in 20 Seconds

See Ptolemy standing on the corner?

Ruby's seminary teacher wants a 20 to 40 second video from each parent about "the joys of parenthood."  His request cracked me up all day long yesterday. Parenthood in 40 seconds? Where would I begin? I tried to do a video, but for one thing, and I don't know if any of you have noticed this, because I certainly hadn't, but I am wizened. Is that a word? On video, I looked like I'd just spent a year in a North Korean labor camp.  If that's not a testament to parenthood, I don't know what is.  However, I'm sure that's not the side of parenthood the seminary teacher is trying to magnify.

Everyone knows I love parenthood, and I love having seven children, but that doesn't change the fact, the empirically proven fact, that seven kids is way too many!  With seven kids, you're going to be loading a thousand books into your car to ship to Swaziland when suddenly your first grader shows up.  He threw up in class, your phone was on silent and your mom had to go get the poor kid.  His first words are, "I'm not sick.  I want to go to the dollar store."

Scott just happened to be across the street when I pulled over at a stop sign because Ptolemy was white as paste and there was nothing to use as a bucket in the brand-new car.  Tiny little thing stood on the corner while I dumped out my purse and ran around the car to help him.  I hope everyone driving by appreciated my mime demonstration on How to Throw Up in You Mom's Purse.

So that's parenthood.  And that's not an isolated incident, that's every day.  Funny, I never had time to finish that 20-second video.  At this same time, Freestone was at the dentist and Ruby was at the UPS store waiting for the Swaziland books.  Araceli was still at the jr. high waiting for a ride.  Tizzy was with Ro at Coco's because Esmae was at the doctor getting a chest x-ray.  Xanthe was bringing home school pictures that I never ordered, which is fantastic because I needed more errands to run.  I'll just take those back to the school on my way to the dollar store with whichever kid happens to be throwing up.  This time, I'll bring a bucket.

"This is the best day ever!"  Tizzy says it all the time, and it's true every single day.