Yesterday I was uplifted by the message in Relief Society at church. The premise was finding joy in the journey. I appreciate the message that this life is all about joy and creating harmony in our lives. It sure beats the message that the sky is falling that we hear so much. I recently told Scott, through late-night tears of fatigue, "I'm having fun. I'm just having way too much of it." The trick for anyone in my stage of life is to enjoy the incredible bounty of joy that accompanies the work of raising kids.

In the car on the way to ballet today, I had my two girls in their black leotards and pink tights, brushes in hand, doing their buns. I said to them, "This is so much fun! This is the whole reason I had kids, to take them to ballet and drive them around and see them work hard." Golda said dubiously, "It doesn't sound like THAT much fun." I assured her that it is. Since I'm raising future parents, as my friend Erin said, I want them to see that I find joy in raising them and feel that having a family is something they want for their future.

My goal now is to decide how I want to be as a mom and then do it. If I want to do lots of crafts or go to the zoo more or let the kids have parties and friends over, I can't let anything so banal as being tired or having chores to do stand in the way. Childhood is a one-shot deal. I don't want my time as a mom to be characterized by phrases like, "When the kids are bigger..." or "As soon as we get through this..." or "I'm too tired right now."

My mom had one sister and we spent a lot of time with her and her kids growing up. She had a pool at her condo complex, where I remember spending many hours. Swimming was followed by lunch and what my mom and Aunt Pat called, "Perfecting the art of doing nothing." When Aunt Pat died much too young of breast cancer, I bet my mom didn't think of all the chores left undone when we had headed out to swim at Aunt Pat's pool all those times. And I bet she didn't think of all the work it took to fix those lunches for all of us, to get us out of the pool, to load us in the car. If it was a lot of work, and I'm thinking it was, I never knew it. I just saw Mom and Aunt Pat having fun.

During the long, cold, dreary winter of Scott's Achilles injury, I remember feeling like our family would never feel right again. Freestone looks back on those weeks as the Golden Age of his childhood. Daddy was always on the couch, right where Free left him, available to play video games or watch TV with him. Freestone wishes Scott would get hurt again. I love his perspective because it reminds me that, even if some things are hard, other things are wonderful. Sometimes the only difference between the two is attitude. It also reminds me that the most important thing for a kid is to have the security of knowing a parent will be right where you left them, happy to see you again.

The bottom line for me this week is letting my actions reflect the gratitude I feel for motherhood. This is a journey that I am grateful to be on. I want my children to know that. If I can show them through my attitude, I'll feel a modicum of success.