Irk

This is my swimsuit.  Scott bought if for me last summer.  It was expensive.  I like it.  And even though I have a cute swimsuit, I haven't been to the pool nearly as much as usual.  I thought it was because we're hectic-busy this summer, but I just had an epiphany.  The reason we haven't been to the pool is the conversation Ruby had with an employee there.  It took the wind out of my sails and I didn't even realize it.

At the pool a few weeks ago, this woman (a "friend" of mine) watched me walk away and then leaned in to Ruby and said, "Your mom has had that swimsuit for years, hasn't she?"  Ruby said, "Uh..." and the woman said, "Why don't you buy her a new one for Mothers' Day."  She walked off and left Ruby standing there thinking about how Mothers' Day was a couple months ago.

When Ruby told me about the incident, I tried to shake it off.  But now, every time I go to the pool I feel so ugly.  That thoughtless comment changed me from the fun and capable mom who used to bring a whole slew of kids to the pool every day, to the ugly, saggy impostor woman who shows up at the country club in a swimsuit that's old and dingy.  The new me isn't fooling anyone.  She's poor and tired and she forgets to bring swim diapers.  She doesn't wear makeup and her kids splash each other in the eyes.  She doesn't know the lifeguards and she isn't very friendly.

I miss the old me at the pool, but I don't know how to bring her back.  I find it ludicrous that an insignificant comment like that can rankle me so much.  Instead of asking what's wrong with a woman who would say something like that, now I'm asking myself what's wrong with me that it made me feel so dumpy and embarrassed.

Have you even had something this stupid happen to you that you could not get over?  Ugh!!