Thinking about all the societal problems we face, and wondering what a permanent solution would be, I keep coming back around to families. I think the best thing for society is parents who are there. Gay parents, straight parents, working parents, stay-at-home parents, I don't care. Just parents who provide a stable, loving environment and make sure someone is paying attention all the time, holding kids to high expectations and providing them educational opportunities.
This is what rankles me the most about the backlash against gay marriage: that people who believe in families are telling people who want families that they aren't worthy to have that. Why do we have this mindset of, "I'm doing it better than you are"? We're all in this together! I applied for a job at a Christian school one time. The headmaster gently but condescendingly told me, "You probably think you know Christ. But you don't."
So I know what it's like to be told that my relationship with God is invalid, based on someone else's opinion. And I know that is wrong. I think this is true: If you know who you are, you are more comfortable with other people being who they are, without feeling threatened. Can you imagine, if I were gay, there would be people out there telling me I'm unfit to be a mother. I'm a great mother! If I were gay, I would still be a great mother. Yet I might not get that chance. And if I did, I would have to fight for it every step of the way because people who had no idea what my relationship with God was like would be judging me. Every step of the way. Because of fear? Lack of compassion? Misunderstanding of our role as human beings?
For me personally, there is no greater tragedy than wanting children and not being able to have them. To come to this earth and never get to be a parent, to carry that yearning in your bones from year to year and never see it realized, that is the most tragic thing there is for me. So when a person wants that, I can't find it in my heart to deny them that. At all. For someone else to find happiness in their own way doesn't diminish my experience, unless I let it. In fact, the more I can celebrate others' happiness, the closer to God I feel.
The world need more committed parents, more marriages. And we also need more people of faith; the kind of people of faith who don't tell other people of faith that their relationships with God don't count. God knows each one of us. We are responsible for our own relationship with Him, not someone else's. I firmly believe that our divine responsibility is to love, not judge. Our stand is our life. Our stand is our love. Our stand is our Christ-like compassion, and the charity we show when we say to people we don't understand, "I respect you. I believe that God understands you. You are entitled to your beliefs." Isn't that what we all want?
This is what rankles me the most about the backlash against gay marriage: that people who believe in families are telling people who want families that they aren't worthy to have that. Why do we have this mindset of, "I'm doing it better than you are"? We're all in this together! I applied for a job at a Christian school one time. The headmaster gently but condescendingly told me, "You probably think you know Christ. But you don't."
So I know what it's like to be told that my relationship with God is invalid, based on someone else's opinion. And I know that is wrong. I think this is true: If you know who you are, you are more comfortable with other people being who they are, without feeling threatened. Can you imagine, if I were gay, there would be people out there telling me I'm unfit to be a mother. I'm a great mother! If I were gay, I would still be a great mother. Yet I might not get that chance. And if I did, I would have to fight for it every step of the way because people who had no idea what my relationship with God was like would be judging me. Every step of the way. Because of fear? Lack of compassion? Misunderstanding of our role as human beings?
For me personally, there is no greater tragedy than wanting children and not being able to have them. To come to this earth and never get to be a parent, to carry that yearning in your bones from year to year and never see it realized, that is the most tragic thing there is for me. So when a person wants that, I can't find it in my heart to deny them that. At all. For someone else to find happiness in their own way doesn't diminish my experience, unless I let it. In fact, the more I can celebrate others' happiness, the closer to God I feel.
The world need more committed parents, more marriages. And we also need more people of faith; the kind of people of faith who don't tell other people of faith that their relationships with God don't count. God knows each one of us. We are responsible for our own relationship with Him, not someone else's. I firmly believe that our divine responsibility is to love, not judge. Our stand is our life. Our stand is our love. Our stand is our Christ-like compassion, and the charity we show when we say to people we don't understand, "I respect you. I believe that God understands you. You are entitled to your beliefs." Isn't that what we all want?
5 comments:
I think this same post could be applied to so many aspects of life. Everyone is on their own path and they have to figure life out for themselves. The hardest part for me is when it is so personal in life and so close to home. Then.... it can get sticky during that "figuring it out process". :) But, I know that God (even if someone doesn't believe in him) knows each one of us and loves each one of us. Imagine a world where everyone knew that, practiced it, and treated each other accordingly. Great post, great lunch discussion - see ya in a bit. :)
This post reminds me of my favorite line from "Beauty and the Beast". "We don't like what we don't understand in fact it scares us." If we could all be more Christlike in all situations, even if we don't understand them, instead of having fear, life for everyone would be so different and better! What a great post - THANKS!
Julie C.
well said!!
Amen.... total hear and agree with you.
I got my hair done yesterday and my friend announced he was getting married to his partner. I was so happy for him. He deserves to be happy. He also told me of the painful experience of when his Mom died and members of his family asked him if he was going to stop being gay so that he could live with her when he died. People can be so mean it broke my heart. He is one the best people I know. Love this post.
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