Xanthe's New Gig

 Today, we are at the beginning of an experience that has been eight years in coming:  resource class at school.  Xanthe started out with some deficiencies, but also so many strengths that it has been hard to pinpoint what exactly those deficiencies are.  There have been years of testing and wondering, bursts of understanding and shots in the dark.  I wish there were an exact science for understanding the human brain, but there isn't.  Xanthe has areas of ability and areas where it seems like there's a complete darkness.  We know she has an almost-blind eye.  We know she has something akin to auditory processing disorder, and that the information one ear receives doesn't get processed.  We know spatial relations are very difficult for this girl, and that sometimes skills and information disappear from her memory.

We also know that she has a great musical memory, and a great ear for tone, inflection and pitch.  She can write and make up stories.  She can read quite well, and above all, she has an incredible work ethic.  Both of her teachers today said that if they could bottle Xanthe's work ethic and give it to all the kids, they would.  Xanthe gets two very difficult homework packets each Monday.  She immediately gets going on them, leaning close to the paper, pencil gripped in her hand, working doggedly at filling in each blank.  She is supposed to spread out the work over three days and hand it all in on Thursday, but the desire to get it all done is so high that she can't rest until it's complete.  So I allow her to work all afternoon and night Mondays, until it's done.  And believe me, it takes a lot of parental involvement.  One packet is in French.  Google translate is my best friend on Mondays.

I dread the whole ordeal, but it's nice on the other days when all she has to do is get out her folder and pore over the pages, making sure it's STILL ALL DONE!  Yep!  It is!  Of course, she still has to read out loud and do her practicing and clean her room, but you should see the precision with which she carries out those tasks!  Sometimes Xanthe's extreme carefulness comes with a barrage of questions about the most banal things, and it drives me crazy.  I have to constantly remind myself that the deficiency is in my patience, not in Xanthe.  She just has a different learning style.  My style is "Just go and learn as you go, or not, whatever.  It will all work out."  Xanthe's style is "Stand stock still, rigid with fear, until you have gathered enough information to allow you to take action."

That approach translates well into completing predictable tasks.  It's terrible for working with me, though.  If I say, "Here.  Run this book over to Coco's," I expect the kid to grab the book as she races by me, already on her way out the door.  When Xanthe grinds to a complete stop upon such a request, I often take that as disobedience, defiance, and outright naughtiness.  What's going on in Xanthe's brain is quite the opposite, a mental clearing away of possible obstacles, possibilities and options, so that she can see clearly what is going to happen.  What if there's a deer in the back yard?  What if Coco isn't home?  What if the alarm is on?  What if the door is locked?  What if Coco IS home, then can I stay there?  How long?  What should I say?  Can I get a drink first?  Can Ptolemy go with me?

What I want is for Xanthe to forget all those questions and move forward, but I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that she has to move through those questions, not around them.  She infers nothing.  She assumes nothing.  She bases all her decisions on empirical evidence.  Well, when you transfer that thinking style to school, and that's your learning process, you're bound to fall behind.

The good news, besides Xanthe's unshakable work ethic, is her positivity.  She actually thrives on work, as long as she feels like it's something she can do.  She is a happy worker.  She will do great working with the special ed teacher every day, and I'm excited for her to feel some success.  I love her teachers, Mrs. Povey and M. Lansing.  They get Xanthe, and they love her.  When the question of behavioral problems came up, they both actually laughed.  No problems there!  Xanthe is the model student!  I am thrilled that the adults around her are willing to lift the burden from her small shoulders and carry it with her.