9. I wrote "Drive carpoop" on my calendar and didn't notice it until the kids saw it and went into fits of giggles.
8. By my calculations, I've made eight hundred cookies this month. Does that sound like a lot?
7. I'm starting to have hostile feelings toward the little drummer boy. How many mothers of newborns do you know who appreciate a kid showing up and playing a drum for their baby? Mary finally gets Jesus to sleep and she hears, "Pah rum pa pum pum! Rum pa pum pum! Rum pa pum pum!" That's a gift?
6. I contemplated ramming the car in front of me when it stopped at a yellow light. I know the prosecutor. He'd let me off.
5. Everything I buy at the store has to have holiday packaging. Milk, crackers, kleenex. Either the wrapper isn't adorned with snowflakes and/or Santa Claus, or I'm not buying it. If I'm running four crock pots, three cookie sheets and a dishwasher around the clock, everything around me had better look festive.
4. Someone innocently asked me if I was "ready for Christmas." In me head I screamed, "READY? WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS? I'M DOING CHRISTMAS AS WE SPEAK. PARTIES EVERY NIGHT! WRAPPING AND BAKING EVERY DAY! WHAT, YOU THINK I'M JUST SITTING AROUND WAITING FOR CHRISTMAS, THINKING HOW READY I AM? CHRISTMAS STARTED WEEKS AGO! IT'S A LITTLE LATE TO BE THINKING ABOUT BEING READY!" (Out loud, I answered, "I think so. How about you?" He told me yeah, he's ready, his wife does most of it.
3. Everything I drink has to be mixed with egg nog. And it all has to be warm, have a candy cane in it and be topped with whipped cream. And I'm craving foods made from breakfast cereal, marshmallows and green food coloring.
2. This week we have five Christmas parties, three performances, lights on Temple Square, two birthdays, early morning band and a Messiah sing-in, and still, I'm fighting off the urge to paint a bedroom. It'll be a miracle if I remember to drive carpoop tomorrow.
And the number one sign the Christmas season is making me crack...
I feel an overwhelming desire to dress my baby in a Santa beard.
10 comments:
Oh my gosh. I am laughing. I thought it was just me who was almost - almost I say, a little Christmased out and it isn't even here yet. ....you know the prosecutor.... I love it! Can't wait to read the novel you are writing! So funny!
This is one of your funniest yet. #4 had me worried ... uh-oh, was it me? ... until I read it was someone with a wife. Phew.
I'd like to add #11: "COME BACK HERE YOU GUYS. You WILL be good for this photo. It's for the Christmas card. COME BACK! COME BACK! OH, AND YOU BETTER BE SMILING!!!"
But girl, you are still able to write! You had Brittany and I laughing out loud! Although she got my attention when she said "Poor Ptolemy!" We all needed that laugh!
That is classic. Good luck with the carpoop. If my 4-year-old eats something without sugar in it for any meal/snack then I consider it a good day. Hang in there!
This post is so funny! Good luck with the parties, concerts and carpoop:) Tolly makes a great Santa.
I know just how you feel, minus the new baby. I think we gave up on seeing the lights, because I just don't know where to squeeze it in between basketball and all the other "Christmas" things!
Love it! Love it, LOve it, love it!!!:) (and I can totally relate!)
I love #4....so so so funny. miss you in the holiday madness!
Hilarious! Man, I thought I was busy with 4 Christmas parties this week! Sometimes I just want to tell my babysitters to send me their tuition bills when they get to college and we'll call it even!
So funny I
just gave my kids rice crispy wreaths and pumpkin chocolate chip bread for lunch. I can't bear to go to the store for actual food right now.
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