Help My Daughter

I have a child who is bright, creative, beautiful and loving.  She gets good grades and is kind and thoughtful.  She loves to draw and paint and imagine.

She is also the reason for almost every parenting and child development book I've ever read.  Each time I read a checklist for a disorder - ADHD, depression, sensory integration problems, you name it, I think, "Oh my gosh!  That is Ari!"  I have labeled her "strong-willed, difficult, intense," and every other label that comes around.  It's not that she is a problem.  She is a delight.  I know that better than anyone.  It is that she is suffering in her mind in some way and I don't know how to help her.  She saw a therapist this last year to develop coping skills and that helped, but I still feel at a loss.  I know that among my blog friends, there is a wealth of experience and knowledge and maybe someone can tell me what to do next.  One thing a bewildered mother never wants to hear is, "Oh that's normal.  My kid does that too.  She's fine."  But across the fine line from that patronizing fluff is guidance that comes from having been there, and advice on where to go from here.  If Ari weren't out of sync, I would know it. 

Some random facts:  She has an exceptionally high pain threshold (Almost went deaf because of undetected ear infections.  Never complained), but is sensitive to the lightest touch, too, and screams if someone brushes her.  There are days when everything she says comes out in a belligerent tone.  She can eat much more than a typical child.  She can disrupt an otherwise peaceful setting with imagined drama.  She does whatever she feels she needs to do, regardless of the consequences.  Threats or rewards do not mean anything to her.  (Fortunately, I have found ways to work around this by setting a routine for her and giving her time to transition from one activity to the next, and lots of time to draw and create.)  She cannot concentrate on reading.  She is always begging to go to the doctor.  "Call the doctor and tell him my ear hurts really, really bad.  Call the dentist and tell him one side of my mouth hurts.  My stomach ALWAYS hurts.  Call the doctor."  She even looks forward to shots and is jealous when Ptolemy gets them.  Is she looking for some kind of relief from pain that she can't put her finger on?  If I took her to the doctor, what would I say? That I see adolescence looming and I want to buy insurance against the suffering she will endure if I don't solve this puzzle?  Moms, help me put the pieces together.