The careening minivan screeched to a halt at the side of the road. A bedraggled woman with wet hair and a Janet Jackson-style wardrobe malfunction taking place jumped out of the driver's side. She threw open the sliding door, engaged in some sort of ruckus inside the car and finally emerged, flinging a cupcake piled high with blue frosting into oncoming traffic. As the dainty confection arced through the air, the wailing of countless angry and brokenhearted children poured out of the van's windows. The woman threw the door shut and sped away, eyeballs wide, hands gripping the wheel.
Yes, I forgot to "put it away" after nursing Ptolemy, as anyone at the pool yesterday can probably attest.
Yes, my kids scored cupcakes poolside by loitering at a neighboring table looking hungry and neglected while the people at the table celebrated a birthday.
Yes, Freestone decided to save his cupcake to use as a weapon against Xanthe in the car.
Oh yes, she whined about it in frequencies that made dogs take cover.
But that woman by the side of the road couldn't have been me. I'm not mean and angry and out of control. Right?
11 comments:
It took me a minute to "get" the Janet Jackson-style wardrobe malfunction. At first I was thinking , "Why was Circe -- I mean, the woman -- wearing an 80s military jacket with huge shoulder pads in this heat?
So funny. Was there any windshield contact?
HAHAHA... if only I could have been a fly on the van wall... Of course I would NEVER think this was you!
Your honesty is so refreshing. Hang in there.... er, I mean, please tell "whomever" this may be to hang in there ;)
I heard a similar story minus the "wardrobe malfunction" and anybody who is a mother "gets" a meltdown.
It could have been any one of us - well except me, because I don't have anything to "put away". But still... just today I pulled over on highway 89 because the screaming from the back seat would. not. stop. The kids all quieted down and said, "What are we doing?" Well.... we're waiting until you guys shape up. I'm sick of listening to you fight.
Girl, we are all that woman! Thanks for sharing the good the bad and the ugly!
You forgot to "put it away"? You are cracking me up! I got a few stares while feeding Cam in the car today (while he was in his carseat, it's a wonderful discovery).
I'll admit I'm chuckling a bit - especially at the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction.
It sounds to me like *she* did the right thing. That cupcake needed to go.
Funny and honest. Amazing what kids bring us to do. I have been there..Also a friend told me about flinging her daughter's purse out of the window during a meltdown (her's and her daughter's) Thanks for the post.
You are so funny. I love that you can laugh about it and we can laugh about it too.
This is the post I missed the most! Oh my gosh!!!!
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