Scholarship Recipient

When Golda was about Freestone's age, she dreamed of studying at Ballet West.  She auditioned, and we couldn't afford it.  I've always felt badly that we couldn't facilitate Golda's fondest dream, even though I think she's largely gotten over it.  So, when Freestone was asked to audition, and got in amid praise and accolades, it was like reliving the hurt of Golda's dying dream.  Freestone loves ballet.  He lives it.  With his passion, body type and work ethic, he has all the tools to succeed. I pondered the acceptance letter for a few days and then got back to Ballet West.  I laid it out on the table that he would love to study there, but we could not afford it.  The brief email came back swiftly:  "Let me run it past our board and see what kind of scholarship they can give him."  A few days later, when the board had approved a 50% scholarship, I burst into tears.  The board had just potentially changed the course of Freestone's life.
Along with each celebratory thought, there was a twinge of remembered regret.  The subtext of Freestone's victory in my mind was, "I'm sorry, Golda." Parenting is endlessly complex, isn't it?

I'm thankful for all the growth Golda has experienced through college and her mission.  She was truly happy for Freestone when I told her in an email.  Days later, this letter came, addressed to "Ballet West Scholarship Recipient."  I can't tell you how my heart soared, even as it ached for Golda's unrealized aspirations.

I am so grateful for Golda's generosity in sending that letter. It meant a lot to Freestone.  I don't know what it said because Freestone wouldn't let anyone read it.  I don't even need to know what it said.  I just know that our dancer has a big sister who understands his passion, and fully supports him.  It's time for me to let go of the regret over Golda and embrace Freestone's journey.

And embrace we are!  Scott and I, not to mention Freestone, are loving the Ballet West experience.  He has ballet at Clytie's three days a week and class at BW six days a week.  I reluctantly joined a carpool, admitting that we can't spend six days a week in our parked cars outside Capitol Theater while life outside of Freestone's interests goes on.  So now we only drive four days a week. :)  We love it.  Love it!  All a parent wants is for their child to find their niche and to be happy and successful in it.  Freestone is happy.  So happy!  We've all grabbed his coattails to see where his flight will take us.