Is it Deadly?

Owning a car is a huge hassle. Everything is fine until your car starts making a noise you've never heard before and lights you didn't know were there start blinking urgent messages like, "Service engine now!" or "Maintenance required." I listen to Car Talk on NPR, but in the twenty years I've been listening, I've never learned anything even remotely useful. I think Tom and Ray would be proud. So when my car has a problen, I take it in. That costs money and leaves me without a car. It's perpetual aggravation. And every time things start working right, it's time to go get the registration or the emissions or new tires.

Even with all the perplexing maintenance, a car is no match for a kid. Kids are always and forever malfunctioning, breaking down, leaking fluids and making weird noises. And if you have more than one child, if one is running smoothly, you can bet that another one will break down in its place. Last fall it was broken bones for us. No sooner did we have Ruby's arm in a bright pink cast than Xanthe's tiny collarbone proved to be cracked. We had our share of stomach viruses over the holidays, and then it was on to Ruby's mysterious neck infection. If Ruby were a car, that one would have stumped the chumps on Car Talk for sure. Well, we wouldn't want life to get too predictable, so Freestone developed a toothache this weekend. Every few hours, he silently walked up to me and held out a bottle of motrin and a spoon, blinking at me with his giant brown eyes. Poor little guy! Since I'm so responsible, I took him to the dentist this morning, thinking the problem was going to be a giant cavity or a disintigrating jaw or something. I paid the dentist fifteen bucks to tell me Freestone's six-year-old molars are growing in. Did my other kids get six-year-old molars? Why have I never heard of them? I can almost guarantee that when Xanthe is six and has a toothache, I'll use the six-year-old molar explanation and fail to notice that her jaw really is disintigrating.

That's the problem with kids. Their illnesses are tricky to diagnose. Numerous times, I've sent a kid to school telling them they have growing pains. An hour later, the janitor is sprinkling sawdust on the floor and the school nurse is calling me to come get the kid who just threw up at circle time. Then there are the kids who have been hospitalized for dehydration (Golda and Araceli) because I didn't want to overreact. When I go to the doctor's office, I want my kid to have double pneumonia or something. I want the doctor to say, "You were right, your child is very, very sick. You saved her life by bringing her in when you did. Here is a strong medication that will cure everything and make her sleep for three days."

I do NOT want the doctor to say, "It looks like just a cold virus. Drink plenty of fluids and put a humidifier in her room. Maybe take some Tylenol." That makes me want to scream, "I'm not dragging my kid to the doctor's office for a folk remedy! My grandma's visiting teachers could have told me that! You find something SERIOUSLY WRONG with this kid and FIX IT RIGHT NOW!! And give me a prescription for something and some free samples! And an extra prescription for antibiotics for next time something goes wrong! And give the kid some immunizations because we're probably behind on those."

So, after five kids, I'm still not very good at diagnosing illnesses. I did get one last night that I knew what to do with, however. I was having a dream that Scott didn't want me to know he was there, so he was barking to make me think he was Star. I woke up to find Freestone doing that barky cough that makes every new parent think their kid is turning into a sea lion. Fortunately, I am an expert on this from reading an article in Parenting Magazine recently. I wrapped him in a blanket and sent him outside to breathe cold air for a few minutes. The article said to take your child outside, but it was below zero out there and I didn't have croup. When Freestone came back in, his cough was much better and we all went back to sleep. Today, my little sea lion is playing video games and watching Power Rangers. I just didn't want to get that call from the school: "Hello, Mrs. Dopp, did you realize Freestone had croup?"

"What? You're kidding! I had no idea! I'll be right over."

Double Digits

We haven't forgotten about Ruby's 10th birthday. In fact, we've been celebrating since October, when Scott and I took her on her Ten Year Old Trip to San Francisco! Saturday was her friend party. In her decisive manner, Ruby had it all worked out that she would only invite her very closest friends and they would play the Wii, have dinner and go ice skating. And that's just what they did. Scott took the rest of the kids out on the town while I lurked in the background of the party, first at our house, then at the ice rink. The girls were boisterous and fun and had a great time. Ruby wanted her favorite dessert for the party, tiramisu, but she was happy with the chocolate layer cake with chocolate mousse we got instead.

Today, her real birthday, all the kids got to choose a mini box of cereal for breakfast. I've been saving them for Ruby's birthday, remembering how exciting those tiny boxes were to me as a kid. With all the waiting, everybody was ready for breakfast early. They all had their boxes staked out.

For lunch, Scott checked Ruby out of school. They made a stop at the Chinese New Year party so Ruby could see all the little ones. It's becoming a tradition for Scott to take the kids to Pepperbelly's for lunch on their birthdays, mostly for the free fried ice cream! When Scott stopped by the party, all the moms raved about what a great dad he is. I said to my friends, "If you have to have a husband, he's the one to have." OK, that might have come out wrong! But being such a good guy, Scott laughed.

Tonight, we carried on yet another tradition that dates back to Ruby's third birthday. We always go to the Olive Garden. Ruby always orders blackened salmon and tiramisu. She got the birthday song from a chorus of waiters and basked in the limelight, just like always. As if all the festivities weren't enough to make her day perfect, Ruby brought home a perfect report card. She hates it when I say she's perfect, but it's true. She is an old soul who is compassionate and thoughtful, insightful and endearing. We just love her, of course. I told her again tonight how glad I am that her birthday is in January because it makes an otherwise cold, snowy month so happy and sunny. It's not just in January that I'm grateful for Ruby. It's every time she shows kindness to one of her siblings or does her practicing on her own or says something hilarious. In short, I'm grateful for Ruby every day, every moment. Happy Birthday, Rubes! We love you.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Chinese New Year starts today, and it's Ruby's birthday! Happy birthday, Ruby! Xanthe was really confused all morning, knowing that her Chinese friends were coming over for a party, but that it was Ruby's birthday, not hers. She asked a million questions about the details. (Is it my Chinese birthday? Where is Ruby's birthday?) The fact that she demanded that everyone at the Chinese New Year party say happy birthday to her demonstrated that she never figured out what the deal was. She was smart enough to just go with the flow and have a great time with 9 of her Chinese "sisters" and her cousin, Izzy. (I love Izzy's expression on the couch: "What am I doing here!?" We're glad you were!) If you have ever adopted from China, you have pictures of your child on the "Red Couch" at the White Swan Hotel in Guang Zhao. We tried to recreate the Red Coch picture with the Beige Couch picture this time. The only kids missing from the couch were Eliza's brand-new baby brother, Solomon, who was the star of the party at just under 7 pounds, and Lisa's Tate, who is still in China. (Not to mention everybody's older kids and Crystal's, still in Haiti!! Keep clicking that refresh button!) Tate's absence reminded me of Xanthe's first birthday, which we celebrated at Chuck E. Cheese in Vegas while Xanthe celebrated with a cake in front of her and a garland of leaves on her head, at least for long enough to take a picture, at her orphanage in Changsha.

It was so fun to bring in the Year of the Ox with old friends and new ones, and a whole bunch of China's daughters who share a bond they won't realize they have until much later. It's up to us to keep the red thread strong between them until they can decide whether it has value for them.

Thanks for coming, ladies, and thanks to Nadine for all the planning and help! Literally all I did was open the front door. And thanks to Laurel...I stole your pictures because mine were blurry!

Grandma Great

Scott's grandma passed away this morning. We just celebrated her 90th birthday this month. We will all miss her, especially the kids. I think they knew how much she loved them by how she watched them so closely and made sure they were safe whenever she was around. She always drew their reverence, respect and love. We are thankful Grandma Great was able to stay wth us for so long, ad so thankful for all the memories we have of her. When she gave us birthday and Christmas gifts, (always money) she always wrote on the envelope, "Just the right size and just the right color."

Just like her gifts, Grandma was just right. We love her and rejoice in the happy reunion she must be having now.

What is Worse Than a Rude Kid?

Araceli is absolutely full of love. She brims with affection and expresses her loving nature through hugs, notes and drawings. But she's what people would call a "strong-willed" child. If she has an idea, nobody can stop her. That's why she has gotten out of bed after being tucked in ten thousand times and lives to tell the tale. It's because she will fight to the death to get out of her bed to give Daddy one more hug, and Scott and I aren't willing to go quite that far to make her stay in bed. She's one of those people who could be destined to change the world. Because the world can try but it will not change Ari.

So today at her cello lesson, she decided one section was "too hard" and she couldn't play it. Her teacher could have whipped her with his bow, and I think he wanted to, but she WOULD NOT play that part of the song. I glared. The teacher waited. He explained that the part she refused to play was exactly the same as the part she had already played. I told her she would be in big trouble for the rest of the day unless she cooperated. She said, "OK." As in, OK, I'm willing to be in big trouble for as long as it takes.

In the car on the way home, I was so busy lecturing Ari that I didn't notice the cars stopped in front of me at a red light. Here's our conversation:

Me: "Araceli, you were very rude when your teacher asked you to play the pizzicato, and there is nothing worse than a rude kid!" (Slam on brakes and screech to a halt inches from the car in front of us.)

Ari: "Uh-huh, yes there is."

Me: "What? What is worse than a rude kid?"

Ari: "A car accident."

I spent the rest of the drive home trying to look angry and Ari spent the rest of the drive humming the music she refused to play at her lesson. Ari WILL be writing an apology to her teacher, and she will practice very hard this week. But I can't help but admire her conviction. This girl will never follow the crowd. I just hope and pray that her "road less traveled" takes her in the right direction.

Friday News Roundup

In Dopp news today...
Xanthe got up, got dressed, put on her backpack and filled up the show-and-tell bag. She was ready to go to Teacher Jen's class by 8 AM. Teacher Jen's class is next Tuesday.

Ruby finished her science project just prior to having a meltdown and refusing to go to school. Golda picked up the role of perfect child and got herself out the door right on time. She reminded me that today is the day I pay up and bring her a jamba juice to school for lunch, since she has practiced for two weeks without complaining. That was worth four dollars and a trip to Jamba Juice!
Xanthe couldn't take the wait anymore and decided to kick and scream. Only 96 more hours until we go to Teacher Jen's class! Can you see why I signed her up for more school? Today's school is only four hours away!

Ari got her posters and scrapbooks together for her Family Fair today. Scott and I get to go to Ari's class and talk about family traditions. We chose to talk about our beach trips, since we have lots of visual aids. Meanwhile, Freestone sobbed uncontrollably when he realized Scott had left. I thought he missed Daddy, but it turned out he needed Daddy to start his Power Ranger show. Why doese think I can't run the DVR? Does he already know I'm electronically challenged?
Does anybody know of a boarding school for three-year-olds? I couldn't find any info on that, so I made an SOS call to my friend Audrey, saying "How soon can Eli get here to play?"
Her reply was, "Eli just spilled pink milk all over his sister. I'll be right over." A friend and some cans of Play-Doh have saved Xanthe from being shipped to boarding school in Rhode Island. She might be disappointed if she knew that option had been on the table!

Kidding, of course. :) Add firefighter to the list of mom duties, because I put out some ragers this morning!

Tales of a Fourth Grade Meanie

Remember fourth grade? For me, that year was characterized by Village Lip Gloss and all the drama that surrounded getting it, flaunting it and carefully maintaining a collection of it in my school box. Every once in a while, I managed to save up enough money from the couch cushions to buy another tiny tin of the coveted Village lip gloss to show my friends at school. It cost a dollar. Two-fifty for the double tins tht had two coordinating flavors. I can still smell some of those delicious flavors. Watrmelon and ice! Chocolate and mint! Peaches and Cream! Even if I had enough quaters and dimes to buy a lip gloss, it was another thing to find a ride to the mall with an adult who would patiently stand at the Village lip gloss display while I ran my fingers over every luscious flavor. My parents definitely didn't get it. Brooke's parents got it, and she had EVERY flavor. Sarah had the same problems finding a ride to the mall as I did, plus her little brother thought lip gloss was yummy. Needless to say, we were very jealous of Brooke's complete collection. Jealous enough to steal Brooke's school box, take it into the bathroom and put soap in some of the lip gloss tins. I think that was the meanest thing I've ever done. Our friendship with Brooke survives to this day, but we sure got in trouble over that stunt. Brooke has the last laugh: Village lip gloss tins go for a hundred dollars on ebay, and she till has her whole collection!

The reason the lip gloss story came up is that Golda and Ruby wanted to know the whole infamous saga. I hope my girls never do anything to hurt a friend like I did, but it would be pretty incredible odds to escape girlhood without making a few mistakes. I just hope their kids can learn from their mistakes. Or at least laugh at them.

Witness History

It's a new day and I'm proud to be an American.

New Beginnings

This year will be one of church-related milestones in our family, with a baby blessing, a baptism, Xanthe entering Primary and Golda going into Young Women's. Tonight was New Beginnings, the event that introduces the new girls to the Young Women's program and gets all the Young Women thinking about the coming year. Each mom had the opportunity to introduce her daughter by bringing a light that represents her daughter. I chose a stage light for Golda and talked about how she loves to be in the spotlight onstage, but not so much in life. Golda won't demand your attention in conversation; she's quite reserved, and listens more than she talks. She'a a spiritual example to her family, and we love the light she brings to us.

Golda won't turn 12 until June, but I do feel the excitement and winds of change that things like a new school year and a new endeavor bring. Golda is ready to embrace whatever comes her way. The other side of the coin is my anxiety that our time to teach Golda and have her under our roof is so short. So much will happen during the next six years. Looking ahead, it seems like plenty of time, but once it's over, it will be gone and so will our daughter, on to college life on her own. Grandma Dopp taught Golda, Ruby and Lexie how to decorate cakes this past year. At their sleepover last night, they practiced their skills. Golda's cake turned out beautiful, illustrating to me that my girl has skills I didn't necessarily teach her, and she has potential I'm not responsible for unlocking. She'll find her own way, and it's my job to let her. There's still the vague fear, however, that there are things we should be teaching Golda and preparing her for that we're overlooking, and it seems like "too late" will come too soon.

My only solace is the fact that I still talk to (bother?) my parents daily, asking for help, using their stuff, showing up at their house and expecting them to drive my kids around. There's really no cutoff for moms and daughters. If I'm the kind of parent my parents and Scott's were, Golda and all the others will want to stick around in some way long after their 18th birthdays. Knowing that helps me enjoy the new milestones instead of fearing them. Big picture: this family is forever.

New from Deseret Book

My favorite babysitter from my childhood wrote a book! I'm not surprised; she was always so articulate and goal-oriented. To me, DeAnne was perfect, and I spent my childhood and adolescence trying to emulate her in every way. She was talented, she loved children, she was beautiful, she was enthusiastic. And she was always one step ahead of me, being several years older.

She's still one step ahead of me, her oldest child being in college. And I'm still trying to emulate her, after reading her new book. My mom gave me this book yesterday, at just the right time. As SWS and my mom (thanks!!) and anyone within earshot know, I've been worried about whether to switch guitar teachers. My final decision resulted in Ruby and I both coming home in tears from "breaking up" with our guitar teacher. This book was waiting for me, and opening it let me know immediately that these decisions parents make on behalf of their kids are, of course, significant. But not monumental. The really big questions are whether you have the energy for what matters the most.

The book talks a lot about overscheduling, a term that makes me cringe. I firmly believe that being overscheduled is a frame of mind, not a function of what our calendars say. This book, coming from someone whom I know to be highly successful and driven in many areas, and also a great mom, inspired me to reevaluate whether our family is giving priority to the basics of the gospel. I can't even tell you how many ideas I got, or how uplifting it is to read encouraging words from someone who knows firsthand how much we all want to get this parenting thing right. The desire to do a good job of it can be so all-consuming that we lose perspective. Reading this book was like pushing a reset button in my mind and giving myself a chance to think, laugh and cry as I related to every word in the book!

I feel like my mom goals are sharper, just for now, and I have renewed energy to prioritize and organize. I can tell you right now that the non-negotiables for me, music, dance and academics, won't suffer because of my new outlook. But I won't be so afraid to let my kids fail, to let them do their own best, and I won't be so quick to judge their efforts. While I want to raise strong, confident, achievement-oriented, capable people, the right way to do that is to raise gospel-centered, compassionate, helpful, humble, hard-working people. If that road involves busy schedules, that's OK. As long as it's working for us. As long as we know where we're going and take the time to stay on course as a family. Family time isn't a problem for me. It's having the energy during that time to be connected to the people in my family. I'm going for less "Go play/practice/read while I clean" and more, "Help me clean and then let's read a book together." I tried it today and it was harder, sure, but maybe it will help my kids to be a little bit more capable and connected.

I wish I could buy a whole case of The Time-Starved Family and give one to each of the women I love and admire. I'll lend you my copy, starting right after I read it through again! Borrow it. Buy it. Read it. You'll be thoroughly inspired and feel a lot less inadequate, I promise.

Tech Support - Installing Husband 1.0

INSTALLING A HUSBAND


Dear Tech Support:

Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf 4.1.Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,Desperate


DEAR DESPERATE:

First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or TiVo 6.1. Please note that TiVo 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also, do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Dining Out 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

When I read this email Scott sent me, I laughed. Although the phrase, "Let's talk about our goals" still causes my version of Husband 1.0 to automatically shut down, it is still an amazing program that hardly ever crashes. The only time it does crash is when I use Family Party at Our House 2.0 too often.

Seriously, I have to give Scott credit for being more perfect than he ever thought he'd have to be. Just last night, he made two trips to Ogden for play practice and put all the kids to bed while I was teaching. I don't think he ever thought so much of his time would be spent waiting in the ballet alley or driving kids to Salt Lake for lessons or backing me up when I say someone has to stay up late to finish their practicing. He never thought he'd spend so much time researching geography facts or trying to recall geometry or helping kids sound out three letter words or walking people to the "naughty step." He didn't know when we got married how few hot dinners awaited him in his future, or how many 4:30 calls from his wife to pick up David's pizza on the way home. I guarantee he didn't imagine he would have six kids, or that he would have to go through so much to get some of them here! He was so blissfully ignorant! Ah, the good old days. I bet Scott wouldn't trade what he has now for anything. I certainly wouldn't trade my version of Husband 1.0 for any other!

Iron Chef Freestiemoto

I borrowed real Iron Chef Morimoto's name and bestowed it on Freestone, my new Iron Chef. Meet Iron Chef Freestiemoto. His specialty is scrambled eggs. I get to crack the eggs and add the cheese, and Freestiemoto handles the rest. He does such a good job that I have been relegated to sous chef. I keep reiterating to Freestone that he can never cook anything or turn on the stove if I'm not looking. I'm thinking particularly about my cousin who blew out the ceiling lights in the kitchen when he decided to deep-fry donuts while his mom was gone. The shards of glass ruined all the donuts. So I hope Freestiemoto doesn't get overconfident and go for Creme Brulee or anything. We do have a torch to scorch the sugar. Maybe I should hide that. If Freestone finds out chefs use torches, it's all over.

Before and After

This little Spicy Beast pesters the living daylights out of me with endless questions about what day it is and why it isn't her school day and why Freestone has school but she doesn't. I'm so thankful on Tuesday and Thursday that I have a better answer than, "No, today is not your school day." Xanthe lives for those few hours a week where she's out on her own. Monday, I got a call from Xanthe's teacher that she's been sick and several doctors have been unable to identify the problem. She cancelled preschool for the next week and a half. I pictured those days spread out in front of me like a vast, icy wasteland of uninterrupted badgering. This is the kid who runs to the glass door to throw a fit so she can kick the glass for maximum impact. She's not an easy-going child. I took one look at the Spicy Beast's crazy hair, runny nose and potential for massive tantrums and had a new preschool within an hour. Just as a precaution. So when Teacher Jen feels better, Xanthe will have two schools. That's enough for every day of the week! We'll never have to have the conversation about how everybody has school but Xanthe, followed by the falling on the floor kicking and whining routine. Can you even put a price on that?!

When I dropped Xanthe off at her first day of her new school today, there was another little girl screaming bloody murder as her mom bolted out the door. Xanthe hesitated, and I thought the jig was up. I pictured myself hauling Xanthe home for another round of tantrums about the number of eggs on her plate when Xanthe said, "See you next time, Mom."
Apparently she was as eager to get out of the house as I was to see her go! She loved it, and after school, she was a little ray of sunshine. When I gave her a snack, she said, "Thanks for giving me this lunch, Mom." Wow! Vast, icy wasteland crisis averted. And I'm in love again with the little Sun Beep.

Tricky, Easy, Cheap, Healthy

Tricky: I want to send my kids to school stocked up on protein and nutrients instead of a tummy full of empty carbs and sugar. I switched to whole wheat pancake mix and started sneaking cottage cheese and a grated apple or canned pumpkin into the batter. They don't even suspect the additions, and the pancakes are tastier. I give them peanut butter and fruit as toppings and try to stay away from maple syrup (aka high fructose corn syrup). They drink milk or soy and save the juice for an after-school pick-up. I think it keeps them full longer and makes me feel better about sending them out the door.

Easy: French Onion Soup. Chop a whole bunch of onions, saute them in olive oil and put them in the crock pot all day with beef broth. At dinner time, top each bowl with a slice of French bread and some cheese and broil. I use muenster, parmesan and swiss. Everybody loves it because it's so fun to eat and it's such hearty winter comfort food.

Cheap: For 50 cents, you can't buy more elegance than roasted garlic. Put a few heads with the tops cut off in a pan with a little water, drizzle with olive oil, cover tightly and bake at 325 for an hour. The cloves pop right out of the skin when you squeeze them, and you can spread them on bread or crackers. I served it at book club last week, and it made the house smell delicious, and looked cool.

Healthy: Turkey sandwich with hummus instead of mayo, spinach intead of lettuce, swiss instead of cheddar, with nuts and veggies instead of chips.

OK, now give me your tricky, easy, cheap, healthy, hearty, comforting, savory winter ideas. We can't have roasted garlic for every meal. People might start avoiding us!

Ute Bug

Doesn't Harold look sharp in his new outfit? He had a great weekend of just relaxing on the couch and drinking Diet Coke. He had the house to himself for most of the weekend while the rest of us went to music lessons, basketball games, dance classes and parties. Saturday night the whole Dopp clan met at the Timbermine for Grandma Great's 90th birthday, as well as all the other January birthdays. It was a wonderful dinner, preceded by a heartfelt speech from Bruce and followed by Grandma Great, Aunt Michelle, Uncle Clint, Ruby and Alexis opening presents. With everybody there (except baby Lilah who missed her own birthday party!), it was quite an impressive group.
When we got home, Golda and Ruby worked on Harold's "sweater." They don't want Daddy to have any excuses to put him outside. Now that he's switched allegiances to stay alive, he keeps ranting about the BCS. At least Harold understands how Scott feels about college sports, even if the rest of us don't. Just wait until March Madness, Harold. Get your brackets ready.

Jesus Wants Me for a Sun BEEP!

Xanthe told me that Jesus wants her for a sun beep. No way am I going to tell her that the real word to the song is "sunbeam." Sun beep is a lot cuter. When I was a kid, I thought sunbeams were the specks of dust you see when the sun shines through the window. I turned it over and over in my mind why Jesus would want me to be one of those specks. Xanthe probably wonders what, exactly, a sun beep is, but she loves singing the song and jumping every time she shouts, "BEEP!"

Today was her first day of Sunbeeps. Her teacher, Jerusha, says Xanthe loves to be in charge and win. And that her whole face changes when she smiles. Two things I knew that sound so sweet coming from a teacher who so obviously adores and values our baby.

Freestone reprted that he did NOT have fun at church, that he does NOT loves his new teachers, he hates them, and he did NOT have a great lesson. So I think it went pretty well. Right now he's singing, "Singing a song is DUMB to do! DUMB to do! DUMB to do!" I think I'll be the most grateful for Freestone's teachers this year, provided they appreciate Freestone's contrary nature and see his sweet side lurking underneath.

Our House is Bugged

The cold weather brought in some uninvited guests who, although they don't take up much room, scare the kids. When the first guest, a stinkbug, had the kids running out of the TV room screaming, I named him.

"Oh, Harold? You're not afraid of Harold, are you? He's nice. He's just sitting on the couch because it's cold outside." Bug killing is not part of my job description. I'd rather make up fantasies to convince the kids that it's OK to watch Word World with a stinkbug. He likes Word World.

Later, Scott came home and callously threw Harold outside into the snow. The kids protested, but Scott said Harold was a BYU fan and he deserved to be thrown out. The next day, Harold was back, sitting on the back of the couch. Again, Scott threw him outside. He always comes back the next day, and sometimes he brings a friend. If we had dozens of stinkbugs, I'd be annoyed. Just one a day is oddly comforting, like we are somehow providing shelter for an ugly little bug who really should have died months ago. The other day, I was home alone and I sat down on the couch to watch the snow. I glanced over and saw Harold.

"Hi, Harold," I sighed.

"I know, I'm sick of the snow, too," he responded. We both just sat there and watched the snow fall until I flicked Harold behind the couch so Scott wouldn't find him when he got home. Maybe he can hold out until spring. If Harold can make it, maybe I can, too. I'm going to make him a tiny Utah jersey.

Cupcake, Anyone?

Santa was good to us this year. He brought everything a child could dream of. He also brought a few things that are a parent's worst nightmare. Even Santa falls for the toys that turn out to be losers. We all had the Easy-Bake Oven, right? The toy that turned you into a pint-sized chef? I think my cake was still half raw when the light bulb burned out, that one time I played with it.

The new generation of Easy Bake Oven is the Cupcake Maker, which makes cupcakes to rival those sold on Madison Avenue. The first red flag when I opened the box was, "parental supervision required." I could have sent them outside alone for free, but OK, maybe the cupcake maker would facilitate quality time.

The most laughable part of the Cupcake Maker is that it makes one mini cupcake at a time. You mix a special packet and make one tiny cupcake in the microwave. Then you mix a tiny packet of frosting, put it into the cupcake maker and frost your cupcake. Except that the cupcake maker "rotates" the tiny cupcake as you frost it. In other words, the cupcake goes flying off the contraption and onto the floor at the exact moment the frosting comes oozing out of the tube. I got a knife and scraped the frosting off the toy and onto the cupcake. No harm done. Then we repeated the process two more times. Ari's friend, with her positive attitude, said, "They probably taste good!" After taking a bite, she said in an equally cheerful voice, "Actually, they don't taste really good!"

Ironically, I could have made a couple dozen mini cupcakes for under a dollar and in a fraction of the time it took to produce three pathetic, microwaved, frosting-gobbed monstrosities. Which makes sense. Cupcakes don't require technology. They require artistry, which all kids have in spades, even without the gadgets. Next time, I'll provide a knife and sprinkles.

Next Time

Out trip to California was so much fun. I loved leaving the chaos of Christmas on the 26th, especially since Scott came home early from the trip and put Christmas away. The house was back to normal, clean and bare, by the time the kids and I got home. Awesome! Driving solo with 5 kids was an easy trade off for having Scott do all the post-holiday work. I'm a big fan of road trips. Something about crossing all that landscape and conquering the road ahead is so exhilarating. Scott feels more sleepy than exhilarated by long stints on the road, so 12 hours in the car didn't seem like a good idea when you compare it to being home to watch the Utes win the Sugar Bowl!
Next time we go on a trip, and I say this every time, I am going to pack better. I usually pack well in advance and organize a suitcase for each person as well as an overnight bag for all of us if we're stopping for a night along the way. Somehow, though, after the first three days, nobody has anything to wear and everything is dirty. When there's a washer and dryer, it's easy, but otherwise, it gets crazy. What are your ideas? I know there is someone out the who can help me! :)

Our computer is on sabbatical, so when it comes back, I'll be blogging more. Just a warning...!