Tech Support - Installing Husband 1.0

INSTALLING A HUSBAND


Dear Tech Support:

Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf 4.1.Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,Desperate


DEAR DESPERATE:

First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or TiVo 6.1. Please note that TiVo 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also, do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Dining Out 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

When I read this email Scott sent me, I laughed. Although the phrase, "Let's talk about our goals" still causes my version of Husband 1.0 to automatically shut down, it is still an amazing program that hardly ever crashes. The only time it does crash is when I use Family Party at Our House 2.0 too often.

Seriously, I have to give Scott credit for being more perfect than he ever thought he'd have to be. Just last night, he made two trips to Ogden for play practice and put all the kids to bed while I was teaching. I don't think he ever thought so much of his time would be spent waiting in the ballet alley or driving kids to Salt Lake for lessons or backing me up when I say someone has to stay up late to finish their practicing. He never thought he'd spend so much time researching geography facts or trying to recall geometry or helping kids sound out three letter words or walking people to the "naughty step." He didn't know when we got married how few hot dinners awaited him in his future, or how many 4:30 calls from his wife to pick up David's pizza on the way home. I guarantee he didn't imagine he would have six kids, or that he would have to go through so much to get some of them here! He was so blissfully ignorant! Ah, the good old days. I bet Scott wouldn't trade what he has now for anything. I certainly wouldn't trade my version of Husband 1.0 for any other!