Roles

Ruby and Golda auditioned for a play last night.  Araceli went with me to support them and ended up catching a little theater bug.  She wanted to try out too, but didn't have a song prepared.  When she suggested "A Peanut Sat on the Railroad Track," I made a deal with her.  Golda and Ruby would work with her on a song and she could try out the next night.  Araceli was on top of the world when Golda and Ruby invited her up to Golda's room to look through their music, choose songs and rehearse. 

Tonight, both of Araceli's big sisters wanted to go with her to the audition.  On the way there, Ari got nervous and wanted to fall back on the peanut song instead of trying "Hard Knock Life."  Golda and Ruby encouraged her and gave her advice.  Waiting for her number to be called, Ari worked on dance steps with Golda.  When they called Ari's number, Golda clutched her stomach and said, "This is good practice for Nutcracker auditions.  I'm so nervous for her!"  Ruby listened at the door and watched through the window during the audition, reporting that Ari had finished singing and was doing well on the choreography.

I don't know and don't even care what the outcome of the Sound of Music audition is.  The bigger part, the part of Big Sister was carried off by Golda and Ruby in a way that made "the producers" (Scott and me) thank their lucky stars.  Araceli couldn't have been riding higher if she'd been literally carried out of the audition on her sisters' shoulders.  In a way, she was.  And the view is pretty great from up there when you're eight.

Playing the Game

Here is Freestone with another To-Do list.  His motivation this week comes from Grandpa.  It is Freestone's turn to earn a DS game from Grandpa by being good all week.  Every night he has to call and check in with Grandpa, telling him whether he has been good, and whether that day counts towards the new game.  "Being good" is a bit too nebulous for Freestone's personality, and doesn't give Mom and Dad enough of a chance to capitalize on the motivation of Grandpa's challenge.  So each day, Free's checklist includes all the stuff he has to practice for violin as well as all of his reading and homework.  I think Monday's list even included a box to check for "cooperate happily."  Today's list has to be accompanied by a note from Madame Dean that verifies that Freestone did not talk at school when he was supposed to be listening.  Apparently, his social skills are getting better along with his math, French and reading! 

I'm afraid the list gets longer every day as I find out how very enthused Freestone is about Grandpa taking him to get a new game.  By Friday, the list will have morphed from reading and practicing to "clean out raingutters" and "clear weeds and lay sod in gully."  Scott is going to have to limit what I put on the list, because it seems like Freestone will stop at nothing to earn that game!  Thanks, Grandpa, for giving us a gift better than a DS game:  One week of free motivation!

Variation on a Census

 A little LDS humor from some of our favorite ward members:

UTAH Census Form

1. _____________________ (Given name)  2. _____________________ (SURNAME)  3. Descendant of:  A. Brigham Young _____ B. Heber C. Kimball _____ C. Donny or Marie _____  4. Tribe of Israel : _____________________  5. Number of occupants residing in home in each category: (Listed in chronological order) A. Nursery _____ B. Junior Primary _____ C. Senior Primary _____ D. Young Women's/Young Men's _____ E. Relief Society _____ F. Elder _____ G. Dearly Departed _____ H.  High Priest _____ 6. Occupation [Please select all that apply.]: A. Amway dealer _____ B. Shaklee dealer _____ C. Nonie juice dealer _____ D. NuSkin dealer _____ E. Melaleuca dealer _____  7. Favorite place to eat the night before Fast Sunday: A. Chuck-A-Rama _____ B. Hometown Buffet _____ C. Sumo Sam's All You Can Eat Feeding Trough _____  8. Favorite Hero:  A. Nephi _____ B. Abinadi _____ C. Samuel the Lamanite_____ D. Steve Young _____ E. Johnny Lingo _____ 9. Which of the following do you bring to church [check all that apply.]:  A. Scriptures _____ B. Franklin Planner/ Daytimer _____ C. Pen/Pencil _____ D. Lifesavers/ Cheerios _____ E. Tic Tacs _____ F. Game Boy _____ G. Big Gulp _____ H. Cooler _____ I. iPhone _____ J. TV Watch _____ K. All of the above _____ 10. How many years has your family sat in the same place for Sacrament Meeting: A. 10-20 years _____ B. 20-30 years _____ C. 30-40 years _____ D. Over 3 generations _____  11. Which day of the month do you go home/visiting teaching: A. 31st ______ B. 31st ______ C. 31st ______ D. 31st ______ 12. How many church basketball fights were you in last year:  A. 1-10 _____ B. 10-20 _____ C. 20-30 _____ D. You'll have to ask my lawyer _____  13. Which of the following has been your most effective Family Home Evening:  A. Arguing about getting along B. Having an opening and closing prayer with dinner C. Gathering around the television to watch "Dancing with the Stars?"  14. How many times a year do you make: A. Jell-O salad _____ B. Funeral potatoes _____ C. Cabbage and Top Ramen salad _____ D. Turkey, cashew and grape-stuffed croissants_____  15. How many water-filled two-liter bottles do you own: A. 1-2 thousand _____ B. 2-3 thousand _____ C. 3-4 thousand _____ D. Enough to fill the Great Salt Lake _____  16. Which of the following do you feel is the most secure facility in the nation: A. Alcatraz B. Fort Knox C. Ward Libraries  17. How many structural engineers do you hire annually to insure you'll win the pinewood derby: _________  18. Keeping the Word of Wisdom in mind, how much of the following do you consume:  A. Chocolate: ___ pounds daily X 365 days annually= ____ B. Diet Coke: ____gallons daily X 365 days annually = ____  19. If you had to choose between witnessing the Second Coming or attending a BYU/UofU football game, which would you choose? A. Second Coming _____ B. Football game _____ AMEN ________________________________

A Few Good Eggs

Hey everyone! Have you heard about the Easter Egg Hunt? My mom and dad do it every year and EVERYONE is invited. This is my first year. Even though I'll probably be one of the smallest kids there, I'll go home with some candy-filled eggs because there are enough for ALL the kids to get at least 12 to 18. They let the little kids go first and keep the big kids busy looking for eggs in the trees.

Don't forget to bring candy-filled eggs to my house (12-18 per kid) any time between now and Friday. Then show up behind the school where Freestone goes, THIS SATURDAY. The egg hunt starts at 9:00 and ends at 9:03, so don't be late! Please come! It won't be fun without you. Oh, and if you end up finding more than 18 eggs, be ready to pass them out to some of the little kids who didn't find as many. Thanks!!

Later,
Ptolemy

We Are Daughters of God

Golda and I had the opportunity last night not only to indulge in a delicious chocolate cupcake with pink sugar crystals on top, but to immerse ourselves in the counsel of the LDS Young Womens General Presidency as they gave their annual address to the young women and their mothers. Each of the four talks was inspirational and heartfelt. I especially enjoyed President Uchtdorf's talk because of his personal stories and sense of humor. I am so grateful that Golda has a leadership she trusts whom she can follow in times of trouble. President Uchtdorf told the girls that nobody is exempt from struggle in the journey from "Once Upon a Time" to "Happily Ever After." It is important for the young women to know that life is not meant to be as perfect as a pink-frosting-rose cupcake. You might bite into it and find that it's not what you thought. That is not because "life is so unfair." It is because adversity is part of Heavenly Father's plan for us. The important thing to remember is that we can handle it. The closing song in the meeting last night was "How Firm a Foundation." In all my years of hearing it and singing it, one line had never jumped out at me like it did last night. "As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand, as thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be." Some days demand more than others. More patience, more strength, more hours, more compassion, more inspiration. Whether you're in seventh grade or well past it, it is vital to understand that whatever you require can be provided to you through prayer by a Heavenly Father who loves you and who knows you.

It was fun to spend the night with Golda (and Lexie and Jennie!). Golda, I'm proud of you for your diligence in following the Gospel, and for being an example to your siblings. They are fortunate to have you to show them the way. Thanks for a fun night, and for choosing the best cupcake for me!

Ikebana

Araceli, Araceli. If she were a flower arrangement, she would be huge and flowing and vibrant, containing all different types of flowers, from the most fragile to the heartiest, from delicate lilies to intensely colorful tropical wonders.

As Araceli's mom, I feel like I am required to tap every mental and emotional resource I have to bring out the best in this rare girl, just like a Japanese flower arranger would finesse her subject with the greatest care. Ultimately, it's not an outside force that makes Araceli grow, however, but the drive within her. That she develops in her own way is as inexorable as the progression of a plant from a seed. My only hope is to offer some pruning to encourage her direction.

Tonight, everyone had somewhere to be except Ari. I wrapped her in a blanket and grabbed her book...something about fairies. We vowed to finish the whole book, and we did. Ari was delighted at the end that it had taken an hour and a half. As I turned down her bed, she squealed, "I got tucked in for an hour and a half! And it's not over!" It was her turn to say the prayer, and she started with, "I am thankful for Mama." Then she paused for the longest time before saying, "That's all."

It was a beautiful prayer with the simplicity of a single blossom. In the cascade of flora that is usually Araceli, I treasure that one single thought. I understand, because with all I have to be thankful for, I'm also thankful just for Araceli.

Give Me a P!

What is it like to be a parent? What do you do all day? Well, let me give you an example. I'm nursing a baby, wiping off the kitchen counter and talking on the phone to someone who wants a violin when Xanthe's friend comes upstairs in a ballet costume and reports that Xanthe peed in a laundry basket in her room. What?

Trying to remain calm, I go downstairs to investigate. I sit on the bed so I will appear less tall and menacing, because I feel really menacing. Here's how that went:

"Xanthe, where are you?"
Xanthe comes out from under the bed, wearing a tutu and three shirts.
"Xanthe, did you pee in your room?"
"Yes."
"Why did you do that?"
"BeCAUSE!"
"Where?"
"You're sitting on it."

Uh-huh. Now I notice that my pants feel wet and there is a big yellow puddle on the bedspread exactly where I'm sitting. Apparently, a laundry basket perched on top of a bed seemed like a fine place to go to the bathroom. It's efficient, I'll give her that. No need to go all the way upstairs. I can't help but wonder if she bothered to take off all the costumes she's wearing before she went, but honestly, I don't have the strength to check just yet.

Now my pants and all of Xanthe's bedding are in the washer. That's what it's like to be a parent at this exact moment. If it sounds too good to be true, just wait. Something bad is bound to happen. (Yes, it can get worse!) This incident caused me to have the Facts of Life theme song running through my head all afternoon. "You take the good, you take the bad, you take it all and there you have the facts of life...the facts of life!" The bad? Sitting in a puddle of urine. The good? I am happy with the way I reacted. The facts of life? This, or a variation of this, will happen again. And I'm OK with that. I'll take it all. The whole alphabet. Even the P.

Sugar Daddy

Xanthe was so happy today. She told me, "ALL the cereal in the pantry is good!" Well, that's because Daddy went to the store. I generally stay away from cereal with the word "frosted" in the title. (Did you know Frosted Mini Wheats have sugar AND high fructose corn syrup in them? And Raisin Bran Crunch has 20 grams of sugar per serving?) My kids are fine with plain Cheerios and Bran Flakes, topped with wheat germ, flax seeds and frozen blueberries. They love my concoctions...until Super Daddy comes home with Frosted Flakes. How come I never get to be the hero?

I blame it on my childhood. My parents were strictly Grape Nuts and Cheerios people. I remember wanting Count Chocula so badly! Once I got a box of Boo Berry and kept it in my room, savoring a few pieces of it every day. I guess I could have poured sugar on my plain cereal, but I didn't know it was an option. I lived in a house where, if you craved a sugary treat, you took a piece of unsweetened baking chocolate and used it as a hammer to hopefully break chunks off of the hard brown sugar in the not-very-airtight box. Then you could mix the sugar and bittersweet chocolate and make it somewhat palatable. On hot days, we broke into the frozen orange juice concentrate and ate it out of the can. Another "treat" was what my brothers and I called a "Peanut Butter Spoon." It's like a sucker, except it's a big blob of peanut butter. On a spoon. Not Skippy, though. It was the natural peanut butter, the kind that separates and has to be refrigerated, so it was always cold AND dripping with oil. Try that on whole wheat bread.

Whenever I took a home lunch to school, my jaw was sore after. I remember my Holly Hobby lunch box containing one of those thick, dry sandwiches, a whole giant carrot and a thermos of orange juice. Some kids had Twinkies and Ding Dongs, and the Holy Grail of junk food: Wonder Bread! I would have killed for bologna on white. Everyone knows I only survived those years because Michelle gave me her potato chips at lunch every day!

I don't want to deprive my kids of the joys of sugar, so I let Scott bring home the junk once in a while. My dad got to play the hero too. Every so often, he would bring home five candy bars, one for each person in the family. The best kid got to choose first and I always hoped for a Three Musketeers. So I carry my mom's whole grain, sugarless torch and try to keep my kids somewhat healthy, while Scott does what dads do and makes life a treat. I call it balance.

Hong Kong

I want to
Have lunch on the waterfront in Kowloon, watching the Star Ferry drift by my expensive restaurant. I'll have the chef's specialty and three desserts.
Then I want to take a nap under a thick duvet on the 14th floor of my hotel overlooking Victoria Harbour, the sampans floating against a backdrop of glimmering sky scrapers.
Then I want to walk the city up and down and across, taking in all the different cultures and people.

But I have to
Rehair three bows
Glue a crack in a violin
Practice with Xanthe
Drive the jr. high carpool
Fold the laundry
Find a swim cap

I might be in my car driving kids around all afternoon, but in my mind, I'll be in Hong Kong. It will be sunny, humid and warm. The sky will be clear. Does anybody want to join me? Where will you be?

Lightly Row

Here's evidence of today's motivational device: Standing on the furniture while practicing and posting the performance on You Tube. Good job, Freestone!

Cadoo

This You Tube Video is only interesting to me, the mom of the boys starring in it. I think it's funny because Freestone spent so much time setting up Cadoo to play with Ptolemy. When I turned on the camera, he was acting out "Santa Claus," saying "ho ho ho" and "here's a present, little boy!" Free was genuinely discouraged that Tolly wasn't able to guess such an obvious character. He complained that Tolly kept grabbing the board and scattering the pieces. Free decided that the failure of the game was due to the fact that he chose green, the color where you have to act something out. As if Ptolemy would have been able to mold something out of clay or draw a picture, some of the other activities the game requires. If the object of the game had been to be adorable, it would have been a tie. There was a winner, though. The mom who got to take a shower while Tolly was entertained.

A Thank-You Note

Dear Aunt Tricia,

Thank you for taking me to see the BYU ballroom dancers! I really liked the show. My favorite part was the dance with the glow-in-the-dark clothes. The music was cool. The costumes were pretty, especially the red, sparkly party dress. Thanks for taking me to Subway. It was yummy, and I love the bag I got with my lunch. I hope you like the sign I made for you!

Love, Araceli

Stages

Xanthe leads a pretty exciting life. She flits from preschool to playgroup and everything in between, and everywhere she goes, there's a snack. Today I said to her, "Xanthe, go get dressed because you have preschool, then you get to play at Bronwyn's house. Then you have French playgroup, then a birthday party."

Golda, doing homework nearby, groaned. She said, "I have a huge algebra test, then ballet, then homework and practicing, then a band concert and jazz. And I have to finish a ten-page packet on Africa worth 148 points."

Yes, being four sounds a lot more fun than being in seventh grade. Jr. High is the no-man's land between writing letters to the tooth fairy and not having to take algebra tests anymore. Xanthe's successes are so quaint compared to Golda's. I remember one of Golda's small triumphs from first grade. She had just started playing the flute and really wanted to play in the class talent show. She hadn't learned a whole song yet, but she practiced the three notes she knew and got up in front of the class. She announced, "My name is Golda and I will now play Mary Had." Not Mary Had a Little Lamb. Just Mary Had. She played the three notes and sat down. That was a major deal for her back then. Golda wishes her practicing were still that easy and her homework still involved rainbows and brand-new Crayola crayons and lots and lots of glue and glitter.

To make up for the dearth of glue and glitter in Golda's life, we stopped for Kaysville Theatre popcorn on the way home from jazz tonight. All that buttery goodness melted away a week's worth of stress. Not to mention the fact that tomorrow is the end of the term and all the work is done and turned in and all the tests are over. That's an accomplishment worth celebrating, no matter how old you are. Well done, kid.

Bring on the Madness

Ya gotta take care of the onion or it'll make you cry!

Freestone had some help on his writing homework. Knowing that Scott's work schedule has been carefully tweaked to accomodate some basketball tomorrow, I had Freestone write, "Today my dad went to work. He went to Igy's. It is March Madness. It is hard to work." Scott thought Free was funny. If you see Scott tomorrow in a suit and tie with his laptop at Iggy's, "working," wish him a Happy March Madness Day for me.

Big Sissy Photography

Are these pictures adorable or what? I had them done by Alexis at Big Sissy Photography. She was very professional from the booking right through to the follow-up. On the day of the shoot, she came to my house right on time and brought a bunch of fun props and ideas. I showed her Ptolemy's closet and she went crazy with all of her fun set-ups. I wasn't the least bit involved. She took over 150 pictures and has them all on a disk for me.

The best part: The whole thing, the sitting and all the edited pictures, was only FIVE dollars. $5.00. I would give you a link to her photography blog, but it's private. She's only twelve. If you want more information, leave me a comment. Can you beat the price for such creative photos? No. Thanks, Lexie!

Educated Guess

Go HERE to weigh in on a discussion about public education. It's a topic I'm often, if not continually, engaged in. Not in a political way, but just asking the question, how do parents best serve their children? What do you think? Are you happy with your public school? I am. Should I be?

Martha and Me

Do you know what Martha Stewart is doing today? She's horseback riding to the Barn at Bedford Post for brunch. Then her calendar says, "Fill birdbath." If I had a birdbath, filling it wouldn't be on my calendar. It would be something I'd do while I had the hose out to spray the mud off the kids. I love Martha's ideas for "quick and effortless." I'll show you quick and effortless. Six kids, one hose, sun dry. Bath time is done, the birdbath is filled and all the towels are still clean.

I do love to read Martha's magazine, though. I love to have parties and invite people over. Scott knows that and LOVES it! It cracks me up when Martha goes over how to make entertaining easy by planning ahead. Somehow my time line for getting ready for an event never turns out quite like Martha's. The differences:

Two days in advance
Martha: Make fish stock for the cioppino. Pick berries for fruit compote.
Circe: What party? I'm handling a book report and a kid with the stomach flu right now.

Day before
Martha: Make cheesecake and refrigerate. Browse farmers' market for fresh herbs.
Circe: Suddenly realize that every wall in the house is filthy. Furiously clean with a rag until the house is a complete disaster, except for the walls, which are sanitized now, but look the same from far away as they did when they were filthy. Run to Sam's Club during preschool, purchase delicious party food.

Three hours before
Martha: Make origami place cards for guests' place settings. Take ice sculpture out of freezer.
Circe: Use adrenaline to lift vacuum up the stairs, race around the house sweating like a pig, vacuuming up happy meal toys and hair ribbons. Try to explain to Scott again WHY we're having these people over.

Two Hours Before
Martha: Roast garlic. Chill wine.
Circe: Discover that all the delicious party food I bought at Sam's Club yesterday is gone. Have Scott make another trip. Mobilize kids to shove all their stuff into their closets and make their beds.

One Hour Before
Martha: Brush home made baguettes with olive oil. Shell shrimp and remove meat from crab legs for cioppino.
Circe: Lock kids outside and tell them to go to Coco's. Act surprised when Coco calls to say the kids came over. Tell her they can stay if she insists. Take a shower.

Fifteen Minutes Before
Martha: Add seafood to cioppino broth. Whisk together ingredients for vinaigrette.
Circe: Crawl around on hands and knees with a rag, cleaning the floor. Using a large wicker basket, clear countertops with forearm sweeping motion. Ditch basket in garage. Wait for guests to arrive.

Two different styles. Who can say that one is better than the other? :) I know my parties are more fun because mine are real and Martha's are pretend. So there. Even if I don't have a freezer big enough to store an ice sculpture.

Heroes, Guitar and Otherwise

Poor Scott has done more than his share of Tolly time this weekend, all in the name of Ruby's guitar playing. Friday night Ruby and I went to a long-awaited guitar concert by Fabio Zanon, a Brazilian musician and guest this weekend of the Utah Classical Guitar Society. Ruby's favorite part of the concert was when Mr. Zanon was asked to play a certain piece as an encore. He said, "I haven't played that one for a few years, but I'll give it a try." He then proceeded to pull off an almost flawless performance of a virtuostic piece that had everyone on their feet for a second standing ovation.

Tonight, Ruby was fortunate enough to play in the master class given by Mr. Zanon. She did very well and responded to his remarks and coaching nicely. I was proud of her. She said she was nervous, but she seemed to be quite composed. All the other players were much older, so it was intimidating, but so worthwhile to learn from all of them. The class was at Ruby's teacher's home and was followed by an intimate meal which Ruby and I enjoyed in the company of an eclectic group of a dozen or so guitar players and aficionados. I think it was Ruby's first such dinner party. She was the youngest person there by about 30 years!

I hated to be away from the little mama's boy for so long, but he was fast asleep when we got home. I saw evidence of Scott's long evening, however, in the full bottle and binky that were left out. Thanks, Scott, for supporting Ruby and enabling me to enjoy her musical education and success. You're my hero.

Luxury

Ruby's idea of a good time: "I wish I could wrap myself in a nice, warm blanket and have lots and lots of Dove dark chocolate, cookie dough and Coke." I knew there was something I liked about this girl! From ultra-luxurious bubble baths to comfort foods, she knows how to indulge in style. Should I be impressed or worried?

The Stars Are Out

Twinkle, Twinkle little Star
Yes, I know how beat you are.
You worked hard and did your best
When you're four, each day's a test.
Rest your head, my little one
For today, your job is done.

No Snips and Snails Here

Does anyone recognize these girls? We seem to have extras.

The culprit: Araceli. Playing dress-up is her specialty, as Tolly knows all too well. And who wants to play dress-up with boy clothes? Nobody, apparently.

Post Script

Yes, I'm back from the pit of despair that was yesterday. Just to clarify, my feelings weren't the result of anything anybody said to me. Rather, they were indicative of how one (me) might feel on an insecure day, and how things might sound or feel. So no worries there!

Thank heavens I have good friends to remind me that all is well. Thanks for all the supportive comments! As I was lying on my bed yesterday wishing that I had something really big and chocolatey to eat, Jennie rang the doorbell and handed me a big box of donuts. Heaven! Later, Michelle delivered a wonderful scarf to me at ballet and Jennifer brought a bottle of sparkling apple juice to her violin lesson. Now I'm embarrassed at how spoiled I am! You're all too kind...and I'm glad! :)

Trajan called to see if I was any better yesterday afternoon. I said, "Let me put it this way. Xanthe just gave Esmae a haircut." (Kid with scissors=bad mom, right?)

So, while conditions didn't necessarily improve, my outlook did, between your support and 12 chocolate donuts! Also, Ruby crossed a major hurdle. She went in to Dr. Scheuller and had the scar tissue from last year's ordeal removed. Scott volunteered to take her so she wouldn't blame me for the pain! Mike, of course, did a fabulous job not only of sewing Ruby up, but making sure Scott didn't pass out during the procedure. Five shots in the neck and fifteen stitches later, Ruby was home from Mike's office with instructions from the doc to skip ballet and practicing for the day. Scott was exhausted from the trauma and fell asleep!

To top off a gloomy day that ended in victory and a little sunshine, Xanthe was finally presented with her Twinkle Trophy! The trophy shop wasn't quite as on-the-ball as Xanthe, and she had to wait a few weeks, but it was worth the wait to hold that shiny reward. If all rewards were as tangible and impressive as the Twinkle Trophy, maybe I wouldn't have been so depressed about yesterday. I'm going to make a sticker chart for mothering. If you come over and see a shiny trophy labeled "100 Instances of Positive Parenting," you'll know I've racked up a small victory!

Underqualified

There is no way to do a good job of being a mother. And if there is a way, and you do a good job, nobody will recognize it. Everyone is a Monday-Morning Quarterback when it comes to mothers. "You don't have to be so strict...you are too lenient...you should have seen that coming...you could have handled that better...you should pray more...you expect too much...you have to demand more...you can't let them get away with that...maybe you should do it my way..." And then there's the more direct approach of criticism: "Your kids stay up that late? Wow. You don't have your kids do chores after school? Wow. Your kids don't do ______? Oh. I always make my kids do it. I just tell them how it is."

Freestone said to me this morning, "You are so stupid." I'm sure the rest of you don't "let" your kids talk to you like that, but he said it. Great! More evidence that I'm a bad mom. I let my kids say mean things. We'll file that with how I always embarrass Ruby in public by "yelling" at her to get her homework done, how I make idiotic comments like, "How are you" when I pick up the jr. high carpool, how I don't have enough patience for Ari's stories, how Xanthe got a black eye from me letting the front door hit her, and how I haven't taken Ptolemy to the doctor for his congestion.

As the evidence mounts, we can talk about how I'm always nagging, I never have time to drive kids to the mall, I'm not fun, I don't know how to spell Sacajawea, I have forgotten to buy wart medicine for Ruby's foot for four months now, there's never anything yummy to eat, and my very presence can ruin everybody's day. I'm a complete downer. As much effort as I put into parenting, if any of these kids turn out, they will assume it was in spite of me, not because of.

How many jobs do you know of where you don't get any training, you work 24 hours a day, you can't leave the stress of it at the office, there is no quitting, you don't see results for years if ever, and the best you can hope for is that the people you're working for don't grow up to blame you for all their problems? The hardest part of this job is that you can try, but you won't get it right. Not all the time. I have a few hours to come up with a new strategy before school lets out. Sadly, if my new strategy works today, it probably won't work tomorrow, and I'll be back at square one. This job is thoroughly impossible.

What If?

Freestone said to me, "What if we were so rich that we could have orange juice at every meal and we wouldn't ever have to eat any food, just popsicles?"

A good reminder that we have all the riches we need. I think we'll have popsicles and orange juice for dinner tomorrow, just to let Freestone know that dreams come true. I have to take advantage of the simple desires, as Freestone's next request was somewhat more complex: "Mom, I need a clone of myself so I won't ever have to go to school and it has to speak French."

Like I said, orange juice and popsicles coming right up.

Everybody Wants to Be a Star

I swore I would never take pictures of babies with food all over their faces. Now Ptolemy is on You Tube spitting out the worst of all the baby foods, green beans. But hey, Araceli is thrilled. And it's a tiny bit cute.

Duuuuuude!

I'm afraid that first picture is foreshadowing of Freestone's teenage years. I can almost hear him saying "Duuuuuude, chill!" (Yikes! He even has the bloodshot eyes!)
The reason for the cool look is the Dr. Seuss Read-a-Thon at school. Nothing makes reading more fun than wearing your pajamas and doing your hair like Thing 1. The hair even made practicing more fun, at least for me. I kept giggling, thinking how much better this hairstyle suits Freestone's personality than his regular hair.

Famous

Check out Xanthe on YouTube!

Boo Hoo

Xanthe is recovering from a major disappointment. While I wasn't looking, she came up with a concoction she thought was going to be amazing...popsicles made of water, bananas, blueberries and Cheerios. She said, "It's going to be A-LISH-US!" All day long, before school, after school, before lunch, after lunch, before ballet, after ballet, on the way to Sam's Club, on the way home from Sam's Club, Xanthe was so excited. We even had to invite Esmae over to share in the special popsicle unveiling. When Xanthe finally tasted her creation, she looked puzzled and said, "It tastes like water." And with soggy Cheerios in it, too! Yummy! Life's tough, kid. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, frozen water tastes like...water.


The all-time best childhood disappointment, though, was the time Araceli did her own make-up. With her supreme confidence, she didn't even use a mirror to apply her mascara. When she went to the mirror afterward, expecting to see glamour, her delight turned to horror. Her expectations were truly dashed. I still laugh when I look at the picture of the result versus her expectations.

Some disappointments are funnier than others. If we could get inside kids' brains, I'm sure there would be ample fodder for humor. Another funny thing: yesterday, Xanthe wasn't sharing. I said, "Xanthe, can you share that phone with Esmae?"
She said, "No."
Thinking how defiant she can be, I said, "Why not?"
Xanthe replied, "Because that's not Esmae. That's Izzy." Yep. For once, Xanthe made perfect sense. Can't argue with a fact.

Baby Stats

When you have your first child, people ask how old she is and you say, "She will be four and a half months next Thursday. So She's Four months and almost five days." It may be my inability to do complex math like that, but times have changed with this baby. Ptolemy is seven months, but I like to say six because seven sounds too old.

Stats you get with a first baby are weight, height, percentiles, what foods they're eating, how much they're eating, what milestones they've hit. Here are the stats I have on Ptolemy...

*He chokes every two hours.
*He is heavier than he used to be, but no less inclined to demand to be carried all over.
*I don't have proof, but I'm sure he's in the 99th percentile of happiest babies ever.
*He is sleeping every...well, whenever he sees a soft arm or a warm carseat. As for sleeping through the night, it has never occurred to him. Why miss out on all that one-on-one nursing time with Mom?
*He is driving 5 carpools a week and has observed dozens of piano, cello and guitar lessons. He has driven down the ballet alley about 600 times. (I did the math.) This is why all of his toys are in the car.
*He loves life and acts like he has an incredibly awesome secret that would make you euphoric too, if he could just tell you about it.
*His hobbies include playing the DS, laughing, crying, grabbing noses, shouting and taking his socks off.

Everyone laughs about how the first baby has everything that goes in her mouth sterilized. Well, I'm down to peeling old Gerber Puffs off Ptolemy's clothes and giving them to him for a snack. Call it food storage. It works. If he can survive falling off the church stage onto his face, he can survive soggy snacks.

(Yes, he fell off the stage at the church. And I hit his head on a chair while I was trying to clear his airway Sunday. He came away from both incidents smiling. He'll survive. The question is, will his parents?!)