Endless

Part of having kids in every age group is that they're never all asleep at the same time.  Or maybe it's just that teenagers never sleep.  Golda and Ruby are up when I go to sleep and up when I roll out of bed in the morning.  Scott and I long ago gave up the notion of a quiet evening at home, kids all tucked in bed.  We do remember the good old days: kids in bed by 7.  Wow!  What did we do back then?!  Sighs of relief, then lots of books and TV.  I like the stage we're in now better, though:  kids coming and going until 10 pm, family prayer with whoever isn't at ballet or play practice. one wave of little people after another coming in my room to flop on my bed and talk before they take themselves to bed.

I especially appreciate it now, as Golda is preparing to leave the nest.  When she comes in our room late at night, it's not about the 6th grade field trip or moving up a level in ballet or junior high friend drama.  It's to talk about what freshman classes to take and how to decorate her dorm room.  I look up from my book and stare at her when she isn't looking.  I try to imagine how it will feel when she's not here, but I can't even.

All those nights when the kids went to bed so early, it's easy to look back and say, maybe we should have just kept them up longer, looking up at the stars or reading stories for just a few more minutes.  But who knew they would grow up and we'd run out of those nights?  They seemed so endless.

Then they ended,