Drink More Water

I was lying on the couch recovering from getting a thousand (OK, four) kids to school and Tizzy wanted eggs.  I told her, "I can't make you eggs.  My stomach hurts."  She went and got a bowl, and a festive one at that, and said, "Here's a bowl, Mama, in case you throw up.  Now get up and make me eggs."

At three years old, she's been in this family long enough to know that her mother is a callous witch, and she's copying that behavior!  She's clever.  And I did; I got up and made her eggs.

Ruby knows my standard responses.  She'll say, "My ribs hurt."  I take a breath to launch into my speech, but she's one step ahead of me.  "Don't even, Mom!  I know.  I've heard the story about the rib cage linings rubbing together because I'm not drinking enough water, and that sounds fake."

Or how about this one:  "My hands hurt so bad, and Mom, don't tell me that practicing will make them feel better."  I close my mouth and pretend I wasn't on the verge of saying just that.  Ruby did get back to me, though, when I had surgery on my foot a year ago.  She came to me the next day, when I was groggy and drugged-up and said, "Are you ready for your guitar recital, Mom?"

Touche!  I thought back to the day after Ruby's knee surgery when I had insisted she play in her guitar recital.  I mean, it's not like you have to stand up to play the guitar or anything, and as long as she was on drugs, she likely wouldn't even remember it afterwards.

Oh, she remembered it.  Like an elephant.  Just like Scott remembers having to sleep under his desk at the office after having his achilles tendon reattached, because I wouldn't let him rest at home.

My callousness works well with Araceli, though, because she it a total hypochondriac.  Every day, it's a new ailment, along with a new link to a page on the Mayo Clinic's website.  Scott asked me if the kids were asleep the other night, and I said, "I doubt it. I haven't even gotten the text about Araceli's daily injury."

This next one had a picture attached to it, which I have spared you having to see.

In case you're at a loss as to what advice to give people around you, here are my standard answers:

Drink more water.
You might as well be sick at school/ballet/the office as at home.
You can be sick after your lesson.
It's probably growing pains.
Take some Advil.  Bye, have fun at class!
You'll have to rest this weekend.

Let's just hope none of my people ever has appendicitis.