Mom: Ari, should we do an experiment and see if you can all get ready for school without me telling you what to do?
Ari: Yeah! We can do it!
Mom: I don't know...it would be really hard for me not to tell you what to do because you guys wouldn't get anything done!
Ari: Yes we would! Let's try it!
Mom: OK. I won't tell you what to do. Now hurry and go get ready so we can start.
Scott: That was Mom, not telling you what to do.
Fail! In my defense, telling the kids what to do is my job! And I'm so good at it, I can't stop doing it. Of course, there comes a time when, if I have done my job right, I won't need to tell them what to do because they will know how to organize their own time. Golda and Ruby are good at mapping out what they have to accomplish, which is a sweet, but sometimes hard transition for me. Recently I said to Ruby, "Have you done your homework? What do you even do all day?" She replied, "Uh, get a 4.0."
Yep, my work here is done. (Two down, five to go.) It's hard to nag someone that has everything under control! I feel pretty strongly that being self-motivated has to be taught. It's ironic, but I've found it to be true. My thought is that if we teach the kids what it feels like to accomplish all they can and succeed, we will also be teaching them to know how rewarding it can feel to relax when they have done a good job of something.
Speaking of doing a good job, I sometimes feel I am fighting against a culture that tells kids they are already good at everything. Ari threw herself on the couch in exhaustion the other day and said, "I tried and tried and I worked my hardest and I finally got my pants buttoned." All I could think was Oh. My. Gosh.
I think I probably made Ari do double practicing and homework that day. Go ahead, call me a control freak. My kids will probably all rebel and end up in prison. But at least in prison, they will have the skills to make good use of their time. Tell me that's not a useful skill when you're in prison.
Ari: Yeah! We can do it!
Mom: I don't know...it would be really hard for me not to tell you what to do because you guys wouldn't get anything done!
Ari: Yes we would! Let's try it!
Mom: OK. I won't tell you what to do. Now hurry and go get ready so we can start.
Scott: That was Mom, not telling you what to do.
Fail! In my defense, telling the kids what to do is my job! And I'm so good at it, I can't stop doing it. Of course, there comes a time when, if I have done my job right, I won't need to tell them what to do because they will know how to organize their own time. Golda and Ruby are good at mapping out what they have to accomplish, which is a sweet, but sometimes hard transition for me. Recently I said to Ruby, "Have you done your homework? What do you even do all day?" She replied, "Uh, get a 4.0."
Yep, my work here is done. (Two down, five to go.) It's hard to nag someone that has everything under control! I feel pretty strongly that being self-motivated has to be taught. It's ironic, but I've found it to be true. My thought is that if we teach the kids what it feels like to accomplish all they can and succeed, we will also be teaching them to know how rewarding it can feel to relax when they have done a good job of something.
Speaking of doing a good job, I sometimes feel I am fighting against a culture that tells kids they are already good at everything. Ari threw herself on the couch in exhaustion the other day and said, "I tried and tried and I worked my hardest and I finally got my pants buttoned." All I could think was Oh. My. Gosh.
I think I probably made Ari do double practicing and homework that day. Go ahead, call me a control freak. My kids will probably all rebel and end up in prison. But at least in prison, they will have the skills to make good use of their time. Tell me that's not a useful skill when you're in prison.
4 comments:
I totally get 'cha. I think my "not nagging" is going to involve the boys' picture charts. That way, I can tell them what to do without talking. :) The only glitch to my system will be if they don't look at the chart. :)
Oh I hear you on this one:)
Aaah! you are the best! They are all going to be fantastic!
That last line is fantastic!
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