Ruby injured herself at dance and had to go to the doctor. Not unusual; kids injure themselves and get sick with surprising regularity, although when you times that by seven, I always feel like I must have Munchhausen Syndrome when I take them to the doctor, I'm there so often.
This time it was our favorite orthopedic, who x-rayed Ruby and found her kneecap out of place and ligaments thrashed. While all of this doctor stuff was going on, I was performing my own little one-woman show called "You Brought Two Babies to the Orthopedic Surgeon's Office? Are You Stupid?" I changed one diaper and - in the interest of the air quality in the office, stuffed the dirty diaper in a rubber glove (from a dispenser on the wall) and buried it in my purse. Seconds later, Ptolemy had to be rushed to the bathroom, where we had just made a successful deposit maybe ten minutes earlier. The second visit wasn't as successful and resulted in a pair of poopy undies wrapped in several layers of paper towels and stuffed under the gloved diaper in the bottom of my purse. Just a totally normal event, followed by Ptolemy falling off a chair and Tizzy choking on a gum wrapper while the doctor explained the results of the x-ray to me.
From the doc's office, dragging a kid going commando who had colored with a Sharpie all over his legs, a hungry baby and a dancer with her leg in a brace, I went to teach my classes. On the way out the door, I instructed my kids to have "Cereal and Fresh Peaches!!" for dinner. Later I continued on my trajectory of drop offs, pick ups, homework and more teaching. I had just dropped Golda off at flute at 9:00 pm when I looked at my calendar and noticed I had a get-together at Yogo Togo with my band committee. Since I had fifteen minutes before I had to pick up Ruby from Nutcracker (of course she went with a damaged knee. You want her to get kicked out??), I stopped by Yogo. After greeting my buddies, I opened my purse to get my yogurt money. It was then that I remembered the surgical glove containing the poopy diaper AND, because that's not enough, the paper-towel-wrapped underwear AND an ice pack, leaking on the referral form for physical therapy.
Just a completely normal mom, hangin' out with my friends at the local yogurt joint with a purse full of crap.
What's in your purse?
This time it was our favorite orthopedic, who x-rayed Ruby and found her kneecap out of place and ligaments thrashed. While all of this doctor stuff was going on, I was performing my own little one-woman show called "You Brought Two Babies to the Orthopedic Surgeon's Office? Are You Stupid?" I changed one diaper and - in the interest of the air quality in the office, stuffed the dirty diaper in a rubber glove (from a dispenser on the wall) and buried it in my purse. Seconds later, Ptolemy had to be rushed to the bathroom, where we had just made a successful deposit maybe ten minutes earlier. The second visit wasn't as successful and resulted in a pair of poopy undies wrapped in several layers of paper towels and stuffed under the gloved diaper in the bottom of my purse. Just a totally normal event, followed by Ptolemy falling off a chair and Tizzy choking on a gum wrapper while the doctor explained the results of the x-ray to me.
From the doc's office, dragging a kid going commando who had colored with a Sharpie all over his legs, a hungry baby and a dancer with her leg in a brace, I went to teach my classes. On the way out the door, I instructed my kids to have "Cereal and Fresh Peaches!!" for dinner. Later I continued on my trajectory of drop offs, pick ups, homework and more teaching. I had just dropped Golda off at flute at 9:00 pm when I looked at my calendar and noticed I had a get-together at Yogo Togo with my band committee. Since I had fifteen minutes before I had to pick up Ruby from Nutcracker (of course she went with a damaged knee. You want her to get kicked out??), I stopped by Yogo. After greeting my buddies, I opened my purse to get my yogurt money. It was then that I remembered the surgical glove containing the poopy diaper AND, because that's not enough, the paper-towel-wrapped underwear AND an ice pack, leaking on the referral form for physical therapy.
Just a completely normal mom, hangin' out with my friends at the local yogurt joint with a purse full of crap.
What's in your purse?
9 comments:
You forgot that you opened the door on your toe and hurt your toe. -Ruby
Dang it. That is too bad about Rubes' knee! Can she dance at all? Hope she gets feeling better.
I love your last line, "purse full of crap"...literally!
So sorry to hear about Ruby's knee...I wonder how it all happened? Poor thing...I bet she is going crazy.
That is funny the purse not Ruby getting hurt. I hope she is ok. I hope she can still dance.
Oh you poor thing! Tomorrow won't be nearly as bad. It will be something totally new to keep you on your toes:)
What a day!..Sorry about Ruby's knee and hope she has a quick recovery..the toe? Love your"poopy" stories and especially the last line, "What do you have in your purse?"..Xo Tricia
I am laughing out loud! Just a typical day?!
I'm forwarding this post to my big family group-- they will get a kick out of it-- I especially love the last line of just a normal mom.. with crap in my purse- what's in your purse?
can't breathe.... laughing too hard.... What would I do without your blog? Sorry about Ruby's knee. Sorry about the crap. It happens!
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