Dear Max,
I am so frustrated with you right now. What were you thinking? Did you think you could make it out there alone? Did you think nobody would close the door after you left? Maybe you ran away. Were you that tired of being dressed up like a baby and carried around in doll cribs? You could have said something! Maybe I should have been more sensitive to your feelings. When Darcy died and your kids went to live at the pet store, I thought you were doing just fine. You still enjoyed carrots and your chirpy voice was just as lively as ever. I'm sorry if you were masking the pain and I just didn't notice. We all should have been more understanding.
I am so frustrated with you right now. What were you thinking? Did you think you could make it out there alone? Did you think nobody would close the door after you left? Maybe you ran away. Were you that tired of being dressed up like a baby and carried around in doll cribs? You could have said something! Maybe I should have been more sensitive to your feelings. When Darcy died and your kids went to live at the pet store, I thought you were doing just fine. You still enjoyed carrots and your chirpy voice was just as lively as ever. I'm sorry if you were masking the pain and I just didn't notice. We all should have been more understanding.
You realize that I'm probably going to have to hang up "Missing" posters all over the neighbrhood. Have you ever seen a poster for a missing guinea pig? No. Because people don't find guinea pigs. I hate to break it to ya now, Max, but guinea pigs don't have the Lassie instinct. You probably walked out that door and never looked back. What, is your brain the size of a walnut? I guess it is. Maybe that's why you left. Should I tell the kids it wasn't them, it was you? You needed more space? Darnit, we're all going to miss that adorable cowlick on your forehead. And your squealing. You have such a beautiful voice. If you're out there, the crickets are going to have some fierce competition.
Max, you know our door is always open. Well, actually, it's usually closed, but just show up and squeal, and a bunch of heartbroken kids will come running, ready to cradle you and feed you celery. You can come home anytime. But if it's after tomorrow, you might have to share your cage with the new guinea pig. If all goes well, he'll look just like you and the kids will call him Max. They might talk to him about that time he ran away and came back the next day while they were at school. Miracles never cease, you know. We love you, Max!
8 comments:
Oh, you are just killing me with this one! I really needed a chuckle. May the force be with you Max!
Love the letter to Max... so I gather you are thinking of doing the switch-a-roo none the wise on the kids??? Let us know how that works out.
Lisa
I'm sorry about the loss of little Max. J would have been so sad. Thank goodness for replacement pigs. Let us know how the swap goes.
Did Josh or Henry let him out?????
Max clearly didn't know how good he had it. I am certain that he is about to find out though...
This is my first time reading your blog and I have to say this just made me crack up. Sad for your kids and Max though. I guess its because it brings back memories of Gus. I have to wonder what he was thinking as well. I spent so much money at the vet to make him better. Even though the vet said it probably wouldn't help. Then he decided to go to guinea pig heaven the very next morning. We actually had a funeral for him and buried him in the church garden. My son figured it was the best place for him (in the row of carrots).
Hope all works out for the kids. I'll be checking back.
Best wishes for finding Max. Where else could he find a better home!
Oh, a mosquito bit Em right in the corner of the eye. Good thing you told me about Xanthe. It looked like she had been socked in the eye and we were so sad but realized it happens to you as well.
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