Trailing Clouds of Glory

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. -Henry David Thoreau

Children are born as individuals. If we fail to see that, if we see them as clay to be molded in any shape we like, the tougher ones will fight back and end up spiteful and wild, while the less strong will lose that uniqueness they were born with. -Melvin Konner

Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with my children. I ask, Why is she so defiant? Why is she so emotional? Why can't he stop pretending to punch me in the face? What can we do to get them to change? Why aren't they more obedient?

Here's what I have to remember: None of us were given broken children. We were given children who are utterly perfect, each in their own way. They each have their struggles, yes. But what if I look at parenting not as fixing their deficiencies, but as helping them discover their strengths? If our children are children of God, then they have profound potential. They don't need me to shine a light on their weaknesses. That would be missing the point. They don't need mending. They need understanding. Whatever their strengths and weaknesses are, these children are supposed to be that way. I'll try to remember how beautiful and fragile they are, and how much responsibility I have for unlocking their strengths. It's a delicate process. I'm going to need more finesse and wisdom.